me. We’ll vacation all over the world, you can come on the show if you want, or not, and wherever we go we’ll make sure there’s salt water nearby.
“Y’see, folks, I didn’t survive on my own at all. A beautiful mermaid named Ree helped me. She saved my life. She fought off a hammerhead shark for me, and made me eat raw fish so I wouldn’t die like a dog in that rotten rowboat. I owe her my life, and I was stupid to leave her when I got rescued. She’s the
“So, if anyone out there watching knows Ree—her real name’s Reanesta and she has silver hair, silver eyes, and a silver tail—could you please tell her to get in touch with me? We’ll run my contact information in a constant stream, as you can see, on the bottom of your screen. And Jertan, if you’re watching, I’ll be your slave forever if you get word to Ree that I miss her and I need her.
“Well, thanks, folks, for putting up with that. Now let’s get to the season opener of
Chapter 19
After the show had been airing for two weeks, Con decided Ree wasn’t coming. Well, that was her prerogative, and it wasn’t like he didn’t have it coming, leaving her like that for his stupid
“Con?”
But he was going to keep up the appeals, and if the crew had a betting pool he was pretending not to notice, and if his producer was starting to think it was time for a new angle, he didn’t give a shit.
“Con?”
“No autographs right now, hon,” he said, walking by whoever-it-was. No, he couldn’t worry about fans right now, his heart was breaking and he was—
“Stupid Con!”
He whirled on his heels and—there was Ree!
“You’re wearing clothes,” he gasped. “No wonder I didn’t recognize you.”
“Well, I could hardly come to your set in my usual manner,” she said. “May I have some water? I’m dreadfully thirsty.”
“You—water? Water! Right!” He seized her hand, thinking that he preferred her nude, although she looked nice in her jeans, sandals, and dark blue T-shirt. Her silver hair was pinned up; he preferred it down. Cripes, he’d been aching for her for weeks and had
Once inside he seized her and kissed her until they were both gasping. Then he fished around in the fridge and handed her two bottles of water, which she glugged in twenty seconds.
“Oh, thank you.
“My—you’re pregnant?”
“Yes. And I thought you said lovely things about me on your show. And you must be Jertan’s slave, because he told me you were looking for me. How he found me off the coast of Fiji I’ll never know,” she added in a mutter, “but he did. And here I am.”
“You’re
“Yes.” She eyed him warily, silver eyes narrowing. “That troubles you? You do not wish a half-breed child?”
“Troubles me?” He whooped and spun around in a circle. “I’ve got you now, Ree! You’re stuck with me forever! Ha!”
“That is sweet,” she said. But she looked doubtful. “Well, shit, you don’t seem very fuckin’ excited about it!”
“I do not wish to trap you, or make you give up your lifestyle. And I am willing to live with you and be your mate—more than willing. But I need the sea, Con. I need to see it, smell it, be in it, every day. Or I’ll die, as you would have died.”
“No problem,” he promised instantly. “We’ll move the studio to the California coast. We don’t have to stay in Alabama. And you can come on-site whenever you want.”
“I shall have to,” she said dryly, “if only to make sure the father of my pup doesn’t expire of dehydration, malnutrition, or shark attack.”
“You can be my costar,” he said eagerly. “You’re the real survival expert. I’ve been telling everybody that.”
“Yes, I saw.” She smiled at him. “That’s why I came back. When you admitted your—ah—failings. To your audience. And your crew. I do not require credit. You may be the survival expert in the family, and the television star. But if you ever leave me again, I will hunt you down and break your silly biped legs.”
“Agreed,” he promised fervently. “Great. No problem. Man, wait’ll I tell my mom! Will the baby be a mermaid, too?”
“I do not know,” she replied. “I only know she— yes, it’s a girl—will be part me, and part you. And I never knew I wanted that, until I had it.”
He snatched her to him and kissed her again, then let go like she was radioactive. “Oh, shit! Did I hurt the baby when I did that?”
“I hate to tell you this, but the baby will likely be stronger than you the moment she reaches her weaning year.” Then, “You have a mother?”
“Yup.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t worry, she’ll love you. And so will all my brothers and sisters.”
“All your—how many—”
“Seven.”
She sat down as if all the strength had gone out of her legs. “But I don’t know how to be in a family!” she wailed. “My folk died when I was still in my nursing year!”
“Well, babe, it’s time you learned. You didn’t think I was gonna let you wander the ocean alone forever, didja?”
“Well. For a little while, yes.” She smiled again. “But then I saw your show. I almost didn’t recognize you without the beard.”
“And I didn’t even notice you with your hair up and clothes on. Which reminds me”—he pointed—“off!”
She obliged, seeming happy to be rid of the clothing, and unpinned her hair, and he pounced on her. Then he hesitated. “This won’t hurt the baby, will it?”
“Stupid Con,” she said, and kissed him so hard, his mouth was bruised for three days.
Speed Dating, Werewolf Style
There is no silver bullet and frankly you probably don’t need one. It is far more important to be able to find the right kind of gun, be able to load the gun . . . and perhaps most importantly, be able to figure out where the werewolf is.
