know what you could have done?” Her emerald eyes were lit up like green fire. At that point I knew that she wasn't just angry, she was furious and scared.
I shot out of the chair and stood toe to toe with her. I wouldn't be cowed down by her. I'd had enough of people's shit for one day and didn't need anything else from her. “Yes, I know fully well what I could have done,” a bitter laugh escaped me as I thought about what could have happened if the darkness broke loose, “you, on the other hand, have no fucking idea. Just stay away from me, Rose. All of you should just stay away.”
I moved past her, knocking her out of the way with my shoulder.
“What happened to your face, Star? Your parents finally get tired of your shit?”
I froze and turned to look back at her. “Yes, actually, that's exactly what happened.” The shock that crossed her face was almost priceless. She wasn't expecting to be right.
“God, Star. I'm so—”
“Don't. Just don't, okay?” I turned and walked away, leaving her to stare after me.
I almost made it to the door when Andrei stepped in front of me. God, why now?
“Did they really hit you?” he asked. There wasn't any concern in his voice, no compassion. It was empty, and flat.
I shot a glare at him. Even though his face didn't show any warmth to me, I was still attracted to him. For a moment I was tempted to throw myself into his arms and sob while he held me. But he wouldn't hold me. I knew that. “What does it matter to you?”
He looked at me for a moment, then seemed to shake himself out of his thoughts. He flashed a cruel smile my way and stepped back. “Yeah, it doesn't matter.” That simple statement seemed to pierce through me to my very core. I rushed passed him and out into the chilly afternoon before the first tear fell.
I was aimlessly driving again when my phone rang. I grabbed it from the passenger seat and answered without looking to see who it was.
“Yeah.”
“Starlette?” I cringed. It was James.
“Yeah, it's me. What's up?”
“You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago.” There was a no nonsense quality to his voice. Mom must have called. Great.
“Look, today is really not a good day.”
“All the more reason for you to come in.”
I rolled my eyes as I weaved effortlessly down side streets. “No, it's not. It's more like ‘you wouldn't want me to yell at you’ kind of things.”
“If you yell, that's fine. We're supposed to be working on your emotions anyways. That's what this is all about, helping you work through your feelings.”
“Well I'm pretty sure I know what my feelings are, so no need.”
“Be here in five minutes or I'll come looking for you.”
I stared at my phone as he hung up. He couldn't be serious. Well, he probably was. I threw my phone back onto the seat and turned around. Looks like there was another stop today. Why not just ruin everything in one fell swoop?
I stormed past the receptionist again. She barely spared me a glance. I slammed the door behind me and fell down into my chair. “Well, I'm here. Now what?”
He looked up at me, and for once he wasn't working on his laptop. “We're going to finish today.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Seriously? This last session and that's it?” This was too easy.
He laughed and eased back in his chair. “No, not with the sessions. Rather we're going to finish talking about Becca today.”
My heart stopped. Over the past few months we've been talking about my emotions and how I've felt about everything. I thought he had let go of talking about Becca. Apparently, I was wrong.
“What do you mean? I already told you everything. How we became enemies, how I came to be here.” I shrugged, forcing my body to relax. The darkness was like background music to me now. The pulsing energy almost like a lullaby. I didn't know whether or not it was a good thing that it was completely merging with me. Or maybe I was merging with it.
“True, you've told me all of that, but you never actually told me what
I shifted in my seat. “Why does it matter to you anyways?”
“Because it's my job and I'm one of the people that actually care about you.”
I laughed at that. Care. Yeah, sure they do. “Whatever. I think I'm done with everyone’s
“Is that what happened to your face? Someone caring a little too much?”
“What the fuck is with everyone today? This is my face, my life, and my problems. Everyone just needs to keep their fucking noses out of it.” The darkness rose, beckoning to consume me. I went to it willingly.
He stared at me while I felt the change within me. I didn't want to hurt anymore. I was so tired of being scared. If the darkness wanted me so badly then it could have me.
“Star— what happened to Becca?”
I sat up straight and smiled. Embracing the darkness was almost freeing. “Do you know what today is?” My question caught him off guard, startling him out of his serious demeanor.
“Yes, it's the second of November.”
“That's right.” I nodded and smiled brighter. “And what happens on the third of November?”
“I don't know Star, what happens?”
“I turn eighteen. And do you know how I'm going to celebrate that?”
His frown deepened as he leaned forward. “Star, you don't want to do anything you'd end—”
“Oh just for once shut up! All you do is sit there and make me face things that are better left forgotten! But do you listen to me? No! You think this is helping, well it's not! It's getting worse! All of it is fucking getting worse and I'm tempted, oh so tempted, to give into the darkness you have no—”
“Darkness? Star, what are—”
“What am I talking about?” I stood up and started laughing again. This wasn't regular laughter, nothing about this was funny. “See, all this time you haven't been listening. None of you do. You want to know what happened to Becca. Everyone wants to know what happened to Becca.” I was becoming manic now, talking faster and faster. My heart beat erratically against my ribs, almost painfully.
“I have been listening, Star! But apparently you haven't been telling me everything! How am I supposed to help—”
“That's just it. You can't help. None of you can help me.” Tears started to form in my eyes. I willed them back, welcoming the burn that it created. “You want to know what happened to Becca? Sure, I'll tell you.” I sat back down in my chair and brought my knees up to my chest, holding them to me as I rested my head against them.
He looked startled, the abrupt change in my mood setting him on edge. At least I wasn't the only one.
“It was a couple of months after my seventeenth birthday. We were all in the cafeteria at school. I was sitting by myself, of course, and Becca was holding court three tables down from me. They were all laughing, talking about me. They made sure I could hear them.
“I tried my best to ignore them, but my rage kept growing, the darkness that went with it consumed me. All I could think about was how much Becca's viciousness spread like a fire, consuming everything in its path. How, for once, I wished she would get burned the same way she'd burned everyone else. Including me.
“I guess I must have been muttering, because a guy sitting at the end of the table heard me. I don't remember his name or even what he looked like. Next thing you know, there was screaming. God awful screaming that seemed to echo throughout the cafeteria. More people screamed and panic ensued.
“All I could hear was the screaming. I couldn't see anything through the smoke and had to leave the room because I started gagging on one of the most horrible scents I've ever smelled. I knew the smell of burnt hair, but I didn't know the second scent.
“People started running outside in an uproar. All of a sudden I heard, 'it was her! Star did it!' and I was
