outsides tore open so there was holes so it could expand so the
penis could go through, yo u ’d rather have a surgeon drill holes
in the sides o f your throat than have him push it down, the
pain will push you down to hell, near death, to coma, to the
screamless scream, an agony, no voice, a ripped muscle,
shreds swim m ing in blood in your throat, thin ribbons o f
muscle soaking up blood. But Linda smiles, and the camera
doesn’t let up, and the penis is big, it comes out so we can see
how big it is in case we forgot and it goes down, her throat
stretches like a snake eating an alligator or some boa constrictor with a small animal in it and the penis pushes hard to the bottom, it’s in her neck by now bumping around her
shoulders; again and again; and I’m crying m yself near to
death; the men are rubbing and moaning and ejaculating and
someone’s offering me money and I’m sitting there crying
near to death for the girl; because I don’t know where the
blood is; but I know there’s blood; somewhere Linda’s shed
blood and there’s pieces o f her floating around in it; Linda.
They do all the things to her; glass in her vagina; from the
front; from behind; all the things; and it’s all big jokes and big
moaning, the phony moans, ooh and aah and more and
harder, stupid, false moans; and you think these men are crazy
to think this is a woman moaning in sex; and then there’s this
guy with the w orld’s biggest penis and he fucks her throat and
she’s in love with him because he’s got this giant penis so he
satisfies her, at last, completely, a romance, he fucks her
throat, he is a cold creep, a sheet o f ice descends over the
screen, he fucks her throat; he’s evil, even for these men who
do these things to women in films; who will do anything; to
anyone; present her to him; put her there; lights, camera,
action; roll her over; stick it there or there or there; yeah, she’s
tied up like a trussed pig; he says darling and sticks it in.
There’s one decision, just one; and I have to make it; are we
humans or not; the girls under glass and I or not. If we are not
then there’s these creatures kept properly under glass because
w ho’d want them loose and the bruises on them or what you
stick in them doesn’t matter and they smile because they are
sincere, this under-glass creature smiles when you hurt it, and
you get to use them; and, logically, you get to use the five
infants too, w hy not, and this girl from Camden too, w hy not;
because w e’re apples with maggots too, w hy not. M aybe this
girl Linda really likes it; except there’s this iron bar in your
throat and nothing pushes past it without a destruction o f
some sort, this or that; or w hy don’t they use machine guns or
trees or they will, they just haven’t yet, h o w ’d they get that
Linda girl to do it? O r if w e’re humans; if we are; the fire’s got
m y name on it; at last, m y name’s spelled out in the fire and it is
