you can see, you can take a fucking light beam and parse it for
information or you can decode the information in the aura o f
light around a person or a thing; everything’s coded; everything’s whole; it’s all right there, including the future, you can
ju st pull it out, it’s just more information, a buzz, a vibration, a
radiance, even a smell in the air; and we are all one, sweetheart,
which means that i f I’m you I got your secrets including your
dirty little rape secrets and your dirty little what you stick it in
secrets, you can ju st pull the information out o f the air as to
who is evil and what is going on, how it works and what must
be done; you can learn to see it and you can learn to hear it
because you are flowing in an occan o f information and the
information gets amplified by pedestrian events, for instance,
you learn at karate school that they pin you down at both ends,
they got different shoulders from you, which you didn’t
know, and they made yours useless like bound feet, which you
didn’t know; and they nail you, they plug you, the penis goes
right through you on one end and screws you down, fixes you
fast to some hard surface, and the shoulders are like a ton o f
metal dumped on you to keep you flat, it’s information on the
literal level, the pedestrian plane, a reminder o f mechanical
reality or a new lesson in it because girls don’t learn mechanics
or anything else that will help on the physical plane to rebel or
get free so you got to read the cosmic information in the air,
the molecular information, which could even come from
other planets i f you think about it, it could be m oving towards
you on light from far away, and you also got to be a student o f
reality as it is com m only understood. They fill your head with
political theory because it’s useless; it’s dreams you can’t have;
o f dignity that ain’t yours; o f freedom that ain’t intended on
any level for you; you take it to heart; they take you to bed;
heartbreak hotel, the place where the dialectic abandons
reality, leaving her barefoot and pregnant, raped and barefoot;
these are the dreams that break your heart, the difference
between what you wanted from Cam us and what he would
have given you; I always wanted to have a cup o f coffee with
him, on the boulevard; and how these men love whores; the
thinkers, the truck drivers, the students, the cops; how they
love you turned out, shivering in the cold, already undressed
enough; no, they don’t all rape; they all buy. I am an
apprentice: sorcerer or assassin or vandal or vigilante; or
avenger; I am in formation as the new one who will emerge; I
am in a cocoon; but at night, being a girl, I just stroll; I am a girl
who walks the streets at night, back to first principles, how I
grew up, where I lived, my home, cement, gray, stretching
out a thousand miles flat, a plain o f loneliness and despair; my
