“Hey, jackass!” An irritating female voice called to him in his dream. “Wake up! It’s time to board the plane!”
“Why are you yelling?” Jake whispered, holding his hands to his temples. “And what the hell are you wearing?”
Char stood in front of him, hands on hips, wearing a bright pink sweat outfit straight from the pages of Victoria’s Secret.
“Son of a bitch, turn off the lights.” He put his hand over his eyes and kept swearing.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Char kept talking loudly. “Does my bright outfit make your headache worse? How about a shot of tequila, hmm?”
His stomach clenched at the thought. How was it that he was completely drunk out of his mind and still managed to turn down two women at the same time? And yet, the object of his affection looked about three seconds away from taking a knife to his nether region.
“No.” He croaked. “No alcohol.”
“Have fun last night?” Char crossed her arms. Her bright blue eyes were clear as the morning. What. The. Hell. So now he was a poet? He hit his chest and cleared his throat. Good. Chest thumping, he’d resorted to cave-man style) in order to prove he still had balls.
Good-bye last shred of manhood. He flicked his hand in the air as if to wave it off. Then realized he must still be a bit drunk.
“Get up.” Char kicked his chair.
“No.” He needed food. How did he even get to the airport? Was it a taxi? Right, a taxi, and then he paid the taxi, got his tickets, and numbly waltzed through security smelling like last night’s skank.
Funny. It was like a repeat of the last time he flew.
“Why are you smiling?” Char grasped his forearm and pulled him to his feet. “And why do you smell like ass? Did you even shower?”
His brain worked, slowly, as he thought about his morning. He’d forgotten to pack so ran around tripping on his furniture in order to get ready in time, barely grabbed his cell phone and had time to call for a taxi, but at no point did he think to take a shower. “Uh… no time.”
“You went home at nine o’clock last night. Must have been a rough evening with Tweedle dee and Tweedle Duh.”
He chose to say nothing. Instead, he leaned on Char as they handed over their boarding passes and made their way down the terminal to the plane. At least it wasn’t going to be a long plane ride. He also had it on good authority that Grandma was flying first class so there would be no bomb threats, EpiPens, or arrests.
Where the hell was Grandma?
Once they were on the plane he looked around. She wasn’t in first class, at least that he could see, and she wasn’t in coach.
“Where’s Grandma?” He asked Char, hating how gravely his voice still sounded.
“She flew out last night, something about a wedding emergency, do you ever check your phone or do you just stare at it and ask Siri to tell you your messages?”
Jake looked guiltily at the floor again, choosing not to answer.
“So.” Char kept talking. Seriously, why was she still talking? Couldn’t she tell he was about three minutes away from puking his guts out? Rolling her eyes she reached across his lap and buckled his seat belt. Great, now he was a two–year-old.
Fantastic that at that precise moment his manhood decided to sweep back in and make an appearance. He was too miserable to care.
“How was your night?” She was pissed. Yup, definitely pissed.
“Horrible.” He answered truthfully. “I drank way too much and finally realized something I should have a long time ago.”
“Oh yeah?” Char’s voice was deadpan. “What’s that?”
With a shrug Jake answered. “I hate blondes.”
The first smile he’d seen all morning briefly appeared across Char’s face before she turned away to look out the window.
“Doesn’t change anything.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” She turned back toward him. “You still smell like ass.”
He felt every bump. Every movement. A tiny drum-playing monkey had taken up permanent residence in his head along with a demon-possessed elephant in his stomach. He almost puked five times before the flight was over with.
Char was no help at all.
She refused to talk to him, look at him, touch him.
Clearly he’d been on the news; it was the only explanation. He’d briefly remembered some cameras flashing.
How could he be so insensitive? He knew what he was doing, but he did it anyway. To prove a point. To prove it to himself.
And now he just felt like someone ran him over with a truck then backed up just to make sure he was dead.
Once the plane landed, he shuffled out of the aisle and walked out toward baggage claim, hoping that for once in his life Grandma would take some sort of pity on him and have something waiting, like a car, or a gun, or maybe even just aspirin, yeah he’d take an aspirin.
No such luck.
“Where is everyone?” He dropped his carry-on, and was hit with another wave of nausea. Jack Daniels was coming back to haunt him. His stomach roiled as he closed his eyes and tried to focus on breathing in and out.
“Char?” A deep male voice said.
Jake’s eyes snapped open.
A large Thor impersonator started walking toward them.
“Who the hell are you?” Jake asked, a definite edge in his voice. Gathering up all the strength he had, he stood taller and glared at the guy in the eyes.
“Oh.” The man smiled, revealing white straight teeth that glowed against his tan face, damn him.”I’m helping out the family with wedding stuff. Travis and I are really good friends and—”
“Jace?” Char’s voice sounded too hopeful and too damn excited for Jake’s taste.
“You remember me?” He grinned, moving closer to her.
“Of course I do!” She stepped into his outstretched arms and hugged him. While Jake imagined what it would be like to wrap his hands around Jace’s neck and strangle him to death. “I didn’t know you were helping out Travis and Kace?”
“Ah well.” He stepped away and shrugged. Did he just blush? Seriously? Cocky piece of work probably knew how to blush on command in order to get play.
Maneuvering himself between both Char and Thor, Jake held out his hand. “I’m Jake, best man, brother to the groom.”
“Oh.” Jace looked between the two of them. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“All good I’m sure.” Jake’s eyes narrowed.
Jace smirked. “If you say so.”
Somehow they’d gotten chest to chest. Thor was a little taller, but only by an inch. Jake had already sized him up; though Jace was a large man, Jake had him in the lean muscle department.
“We should, uh, get going.” Jake felt Char’s hand press against his chest, he looked down into her pleading eyes and stepped back, but only by an inch. He didn’t want to be the one to back down first.
“You’re right.” Jace shook his head and managed to look as humble as shit. The jackass. “Shall we?” He
