and gotten the job at Pinewood and she’d talked about deciding to become a teacher. She didn’t tell him about her current troubles with the dean, though. Something she couldn’t pinpoint held her tongue.
She was still finding her way with Connor and she was going to take it slow. The revelation about his job had thrown her, but mostly because it was a colossally stupid thing to lie about. But when he’d told her about the reaction of his past girlfriend she’d been unable to hold it against him.
She, of all people, understood shame.
‘Are you happy, Connor?’ The question came out of nowhere, surprising even her.
‘What do you mean?’ His brow furrowed.
‘I mean are you happy with where you are in life? You have a tremendous talent –’ she waved her hand in the direction of his artwork ‘– yet you aren’t doing anything with it.’
‘I don’t know if I’m happy –’ his brow furrowed even deeper ‘– but I’m not unhappy. My art …’ He ran his hand through his hair. Something, she’d begun to realise, he did when he was uncomfortable. ‘It’s personal. It’s not for the world to see. It’s for me.’
‘Yes, but why?’
He looked nonplussed, ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, why keep it to yourself? It’s gorgeous and I think people would respond to it.’
‘Thanks, but I have no interest in trying to make a career in the art world. It’s full of critics who like nothing better than to tear you down so they can feel good at your expense.’
He sipped his wine and looked off in the distance as he spoke. She got the sense that there was more, but she certainly wasn’t going to push him to reveal things. He might turn the tables on her and she had too many things she didn’t want to share yet.
The aroma of warm apples filled the apartment and Connor rose to serve dessert. He surprised her by coming back with only one dish.
‘Nothing for me?’ she quipped. ‘Did I anger you?’ She was only half joking.
‘Nope, you didn’t make me mad. And –’ he sat next to her on the sofa ‘– this is for us both.’
‘Really?’
His nearness was doing funny things to her pulse. She could smell the scent of his soap as he took the wineglass from her hands and set it on the coffee table. He took up a bite of pie and the ice cream that accompanied it and fed it to her.
The taste of warm apples and silky ice cream exploded across her tongue. He took a bite of his own, and then fed her another bite. It was incredibly sensuous to be fed by him. It was a first, and she had to admit she liked it.
‘Why are you doing this?’ she asked.
‘You shouldn’t question a man when he’s trying to be romantic.’
‘Is that what this is?’
‘Absolutely,’ he said and smiled. ‘Don’t you think it’s romantic?’
‘To be fed by you?’ She raised an eyebrow.
‘To have me in your mouth the same way you’re in mine.’
Warm grey eyes locked with hers and she realised what he meant. A burst of heat shot through her body and she surprised herself by saying, ‘Do you want to be in my mouth, Connor?’
Who in the hell had snuck into her body and put this sexy stranger in her place? Bridget almost apologised until she realised that Connor’s eyes had darkened with desire and his jeans were now very tight across the groin.
A sense of feminine power ran through her at her effect on him. It was a heady feeling and she wanted more. Taking the bowl from him, she set it on the table. And … was at a complete loss as to how to proceed. She’d never been in this position before.
The man always took the lead in every relationship she’d ever had. She’d just suffered through it. She had no idea how to be the sexy siren that left a man begging for more.
The bubble of eroticism she’d been in burst as fast as it had come on, leaving her feeling embarrassed. Clenching her hands in her lap, she couldn’t meet his eyes.
‘Connor, I’m sorry. I should probably go.’ She lurched up from the couch and scooped her purse off the table. Before she could get too far, Connor grabbed her hand, stopping her retreat.
‘Bridget, what is it?’
She turned to face him and felt instant remorse for the obvious worry on his face.
‘I just feel so stupid, Connor.’ The honesty of her reply surprised even her. ‘I’m not this sexy, vampy type and I don’t know how to seduce anyone.’
His eyes widened in surprise before a slow grin spread across his face.
‘Is that what you want, Bridget? To seduce me?’ His voice had gone low and husky, doing funny things to her insides.
‘I don’t really know, Connor.’ She took a deep breath, feeling the need to fortify herself for her next words. ‘I only know that I respond physically to you in a way that frightens me. It makes me feel out of control and I don’t like that.’
A small frown marred his face and he seemed to be in deep thought. Without saying anything, he pulled her back toward the couch and sat down.
‘Sit, Bridget.’ He patted the sofa next to him. ‘Let’s talk.’
Confusion bubbled inside her. She didn’t know where this was going. Tension surged through her. Why, she couldn’t have said, but she felt like she was getting ready to run the gauntlet rather than have a conversation. He looked so sincere, though, and she didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so she sat.
‘Let’s talk about the control thing. What are you trying to control?’
‘What do you mean? I would think it would be obvious.’
‘No, I don’t.’ His lips quirked. ‘You could want to control me or you could be more concerned about controlling yourself. The meaning alters distinctly depending on your answer.’
Bridget squirmed uncomfortably; this was getting into territory she really didn’t want to cover. She liked Connor a lot, wanted him in a way she wasn’t at all used to, but she wasn’t ready to share her deepest shame with him.
‘Bridget, I need you to be honest with me if we’re going to date each other. How can we move forward if you’re not willing to talk with me about things that affect us both?’ He picked up her hand again and began to stroke her palm with his thumb. ‘I’ll go first, OK? I admit that I’ve never been in a real relationship before. Life was always getting in the way and then I didn’t want to be tied down when I finally got out on my own. But I’ve never been one to play games. I want you, Bridget, bad. I’m worried I won’t be able to be gentle with you. I like sex dirty and rough. I’ve never been a gentle man in bed and I think you need that.’
Bridget’s body was definitely on board with what he had to say. Her nipples were tight and her sex was slick with need. But his words frightened her. She’d been walking a tightrope with him already. If she wasn’t careful, she’d fall off, and with Connor, she didn’t see a net to save her.
‘It’s me I’m worried about controlling,’ she cut in as he was about to continue. ‘I –’ She couldn’t get the words out. Frustrated tears flooded her eyes and she gripped his hand hard. ‘I want you and I don’t want you to be gentle with me. I want to feel like a normal woman.’
It wasn’t nearly everything but it was true.
‘So, answer my first question, do you want to seduce me?’
Ash-grey eyes bored into hers and she saw the desire there. He was a sure thing. It made her smile.
‘Yes.’
‘Good, I like to be seduced as much as the next guy.’ He kissed her hand again. ‘I don’t feel like you’ve told me everything, though. What about yourself are you so worried about controlling?’
In a moment of clarity, Bridget realised it was now or never. If she didn’t tell Connor now, before things went any further, she never would. But telling him might end things for ever. Her head pounded at the risk she was taking. She’d spent years burying the past and building the walls necessary to move forward, but she felt in her heart this man would never be content to be kept at a distance.
‘Connor …’ She paused, trying to find the courage inside herself to get the words out. Realising it wasn’t going to get any easier, she just started speaking. ‘I’m not a very experienced woman, despite my age. I’ve had
