very few lovers and I already told you the problems with those relationships.’
‘Because of the rape?’ he interjected.
‘Yes and no. Obviously, the rape has made me very cautious in dealing with men. In fact, my being here at your place is wildly out of character for me, but there’s more. You see, I was a virgin until I was 18. I had very strong beliefs about sex. Not so much about waiting until I was married, but definitely waiting for the right guy, because I felt like sex shouldn’t be limited. That inhibitions were a waste of time.
‘My first real boyfriend was older than me. He was 25 to my 18. Seven years would be nothing now, but then it was a world of difference. We had a really good time together and I gave him my virginity. In return, he showed me a lot about sex. We did things together. Things I should never have done. Things I was punished for in the worst way when I was raped.’
‘Hold on, Bridget.’ Confusion clouded his face. ‘Do you expect me to believe a woman as smart as you are actually thinks that her rape was punishment for enjoying sex?’
‘It wasn’t so much enjoying sex, but more for enjoying the depraved things he had exposed me to.’
‘Depraved in what way?’ Confusion was giving way to tension as his voice hardened.
Bridget felt nausea well inside her as she prepared to expose her darkest secrets to him. ‘I let him tie me up. I let him spank me. He even spanked me here –’ She pressed her hand to her breasts and shuddered as the memory of exactly how much she’d enjoyed that particular act came back to her. Her traitorous body still responded to the memory and shame flooded her.
‘And you think this is depraved why?’
‘Because it’s not normal.’
‘Says who?’ Irritation was evident in his voice, but she knew she was right.
‘Connor, any doubts I had were taken away when I was raped.’
Taking a deep breath, Connor said, ‘I’m going to table my argument for the time being. Will you tell me about the rape? I need to understand why you think you were punished for enjoying a little kinky sex.’
She didn’t want to, but she felt she owed him this much. At least then he’d understand where she was coming from.
Closing her eyes, she fought to calm the roiling in her stomach as, for the first time in almost 20 years, she let the memories roll over her without a fight.
Clenching her hands in her lap, she exposed her deepest shame to him.
It had started simply enough. She couldn’t remember why now, but she’d been running late to drop off her friend Joe’s history notes. He’d needed them for his class the next morning and she’d promised to have them back to him before he left for practice that night. She’d called but had gotten his answering machine and this was in the days before mobile phones.
Bridget had arrived at his dorm and called him again from the lobby with no success. After hesitating for several minutes, she decided to slip them under his door. Pritchard Hall was an all-male dorm and Joe had warned her to not come through it unescorted, but he’d never given her a very good reason. Other girls seemed to have no problem getting in and out and she felt bad about having been late when he needed those notes.
The elevator dinged and opened to reveal a young, unescorted female student. Taking this as a sign, Bridget got on the elevator and punched in the fifth floor. Joe’s door was at the end of the hall and she quickly went down and slid the notes under his door. Mission accomplished, she turned to return back the way she’d come.
About midway down the hall a door opened and she almost bumped into Trent Maxwell, resident rich kid, star golfer, and serious hottie. At six feet, he was filled out nicely, with black hair and green eyes that made him look like Brian Bloom, whom she’d had a crush on since he’d starred in
‘Hey, Ginger. How’s it hanging?’
He’d smiled at her, flashing his dimple and she’d quivered a bit inside. She wasn’t a virgin, but she’d not been “active” either. She’d slept with exactly one man and that had been after several months of dating.
Trent had been pursuing her recently. They’d been at several campus mixers together and she and her friends had gone to the Sigma Chi party where he’d recently pledged. She’d been friendly and danced with him several times. Even let him steal a chaste kiss, but she’d declined his offers of dates. She was very focused on her chemistry studies and knew she didn’t have time for a serious boyfriend, or even a non-serious boyfriend. Her chances of landing the internship she hoped for with Professor Yanchenko were middling at best if she didn’t ace her classes and she wanted the internship. It was her hope to end up a permanent member of the Professor’s research team and do her grad work under Yanchenko as well.
Trent had made it clear he was interested in her. He’d been fairly handsy when they were dancing, but Bridget was used to that. At five feet with 36D breasts and large hips, she was quite voluptuous and men tended to treat her like their personal sex kitten. It was frustrating, but she’d found charm and niceness kept the vast majority of them at bay.
Trent was a bit harder to manage, but that was more because she was extremely attracted to him. She probably shouldn’t have let him kiss her, but she’d been tipsy, and there hadn’t even been any tongue involved. Just a sweet kiss that she’d romanticised about for hours afterwards even as she’d declined his date offer.
Now, though, he was lounging in his doorway, giving her that sexy, green-eyed gaze that always made her a bit breathless. She smiled at the nickname. He wasn’t the first to call her Ginger, but she certainly liked the sound of it better coming from him than she had her older brother.
‘Hey yourself.’ She smiled at him and noticed how his eyes took a long, leisurely stroll down her body.
She flushed a bit and hated her pale skin for the fact that it showed. She was in a simple, pale gold sun dress with spaghetti straps which meant she had enough skin showing that he would see her reaction to his obvious perusal.
For his part, he looked as fine as always in jeans and sleek black T-shirt. This was in the days before baggy jeans and his fit him nicely. His T-shirt was tucked in, showing off both his nice behind and the expensive leather belt he was wearing.
‘I’m glad to see you,’ he said. ‘You busy? I’ve been hoping to run into you.’
‘Really?’ She gave him a flirtatious smile. ‘Why’s that?’
‘I’ve been hoping to change your mind about going out with me?
She chuckled. ‘You might get me to go to the movies with you, I love the movies, but it’d be dutch and not for some horror alien movie. I told you, I’m not interested in dating anyone right now.’
He grinned and she felt a shiver deep in her belly.
‘I know. Tell you what, why don’t you come in and hang out with me for a while? We can look at what’s playing and I can work on changing your mind.’
She glanced at her watch. It was only five o’clock and her study group wasn’t scheduled to meet until six.
She shrugged. ‘OK, but I have to leave pretty soon. I have a study group.’
‘No problem.’ He stepped aside and waved her into his room.
It was pretty standard for a college dorm room except there was a computer, which was still rare in that day and time, and he had a single – no roommate. That was even rarer, since most kids couldn’t afford the rates that went with singles.
There were no chairs in the room other than his desk chair, which was piled high with clothes and books, so she sat on the bed. He grabbed the local paper off his desk and came and sat next to her. Rifling through it, he found the movie listings and handed them to her.
‘If you aren’t interest in a sci-fi, there’s that Tom Cruise movie,
‘I could do that.’ She grinned. ‘I like a good legal drama.’
‘Well, that’s good. I’m going to be a lawyer, you know.’
‘Yes, you told me.’
He moved and set the newspaper back on the desk before walking over to a little mini-fridge in the corner.
‘Want a Coke or something to drink?’
As hot as she was feeling being in such close proximity to him, a soda sounded like a good idea. Maybe it
