The Saturday Boy

remote and turned on the TV. Zeroman was going to be on soon. It was the episode where Zeroman is captured by the evil Dr. Mayhem, who has built a mind-switching machine and plans to switch minds with Zeroman so he can get close to the president, capture him, and then switch minds with him and take over the world. I’d only seen the episode four times before, though, so I was a little fuzzy on the details.

It was the end of the commercials and Zeroman was supposed to be on next but instead of the opening part with the theme music it showed an American flag being lowered with the White House in the background. I thought maybe I’d switched to a news channel or something by accident but the remote was right where I’d left it on the arm of the couch.

On TV the American flag was gone and a black one was being raised in its place and when it got to the top of the pole the wind snapped it open, revealing a clenched fist with lightning bolts coming out of it. My jaw dropped. The dreaded Mayhem symbol! The words coming soon appeared in the middle of the screen and the sound of Dr. Mayhem’s laughter rang in my head long after they’d returned to the regularly scheduled Zeroman episode.

* * *

Later that night I lay in bed staring up at the Apache helicopter, too excited to sleep. Had Dr. Mayhem’s nefarious plot finally succeeded? Where was Zeroman? Coming soon? How soon? Suddenly nothing else seemed important. Everything fell away—homework, play rehearsal, Budgie—those things just didn’t matter anymore. There was only the mystery of what had happened. I didn’t think I’d think about anything else ever again.

I’d thought about it while I brushed my teeth and put my pajamas on and I’d thought about it as I got in bed. I thought about it for hours and hours and the only thing I could say for sure was that it was totally unfair for the TV people to make me wait. In fact, the whole thing seemed downright mean. I stared up at the Apache helicopter and tried not to think about it.

* * *

Me and Dad are buzzing over a thick, green jungle toward a line of red smoke coming up out of the trees. My code name is Cochise. I’m wearing a cowboy hat that has an eagle feather in the hatband.

“There’s the LZ, Cochise,” Dad says, pointing out the landing zone. “Looks like we’ll have those POWs home in time for milk and cookies.”

We buzz over to where the clearing should be but there isn’t one. The smoke is rising from the tiniest of tiny breaks in the leaves.

“Something’s not right,” Dad says. “There should be a clearing here! Where’s the clearing, Cochise?”

“I don’t know!”

“I don’t like this, man, not one bit.”

“Me neither, Padre,” I say. “Let’s get the heck outta Dodge.”

I’m turning the chopper around when the rocket blows off our tail rotors, sending us spinning out of control. Dad is shouting as we fall. I move the stick back and forth but nothing happens—without the tail rotors I may as well be trying to steer a tornado. I don’t think either of us hears the second rocket.

7

“THEN I WOKE UP. Isn’t that a weird dream?”

It was morning and I was eating cereal at the kitchen table. Aunt Josie was drinking coffee. Actually, she was more like holding the coffee mug in her hands and staring at it. Her eyes had these dark circles under them. Mom was still sleeping.

“Aunt Josie?”

“Hm?” she said. “Oh! You’re right, that is a weird dream.”

“What did you dream about?”

“I don’t remember. I didn’t sleep very well last night, sweetie.”

“Why not?”

“Um… the pull-out couch hurts my back.”

“Is that why you’re so sad this morning?”

She nodded her head. “Yeah.”

I picked up my empty cereal bowl and went and put it in the sink. I even ran water into it like Mom always asks. Then I went upstairs and brushed my teeth and came back down and put my shoes and jacket on. Aunt Josie was still sitting at the kitchen table. I went over to her and gave her a big hug.

“I hope you feel better.”

“Thanks, Derek,” she said. “Have a good day at school and I’ll see you this afternoon.”

“Why? Is Mom working another late shift?”

“No.”

“Then why—?”

“You’re going to miss the bus if you don’t go now, okay?”

“But what about my lunch? Mom usually makes me lunch.”

“You’ll just have buy lunch today. Get my purse for me?”

I brought it to her and she got her wallet out and looked in it. She took out a bill and handed to me. It had the number ten on it. It had to be a mistake. I looked at Aunt Josie. Aunt Josie looked at me.

“It’s all I have,” she said.

“But it’s a ten.”

“Just keep it.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“I can keep it?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“You’re going to miss the bus.”

“Woo-hoo! I’m rich!” I held the bill up to my face and squinted so I could read the tiny letters. “Helloooo President Hamilton!”

* * *

Budgie wasn’t at the bus stop when I got there. Also Aunt Josie had forgotten to remind me to wear a hat and my head was cold. Maybe there would be enough money left after I bought lunch to buy one.

A car pulled up to the bus stop that wasn’t Budgie’s mom’s minivan or Budgie’s dad’s big, silver spy car. It was small and blue with two doors and one of them opened and I was surprised to see Budgie get out. He walked over to me as the blue car drove away. When it was gone Budgie stuck a finger in the air but if he was trying to do a peace sign he was only getting it half-right.

“Who was that?”

“Her name’s Phoebe,” grumbled Budgie.

“Who’s Phoebe?”

Budgie mumbled something and shoved his hands into his pockets and kinda turned away.

“What?”

“Nanny, okay? She’s my—my parents got me a nanny.”

“A nanny? Why?”

“I don’t know! It’s—I—shut up, Lamb! Just shut up!”

He got right in my face and poked a finger in my chest. “If you tell anyone about this I’ll punch you in the wiener so hard it’ll come out your butt!”

I told him that his secret was safe with me but by the time recess rolled around just about everybody knew, which was weird because I’d only told two or three kids and I made them swear they wouldn’t tell anyone. I didn’t see what the big deal was, anyway. As far as I could tell, a nanny was just one more person to play with.