“Just don’t get caught.” Em waved him off with a grin. “I’ll be grounded for eternity if mom finds out about our slumber parties.”
I nodded my thanks and Finn slipped out of the room.
Emma flung the right side of the covers open. “If you’re gonna wake me up and chase my boyfriend off, then you’re at least going to come talk to me,” she mumbled into her pillow. I crawled in beside her and bunched the spare pillow up under my head so I could look at her. Dr. Farber was wrong about a lot of things, but he was right about this. I had alienated one of the most important people in my life.
And I didn’t want to lose Emma. Not before I had to.
“So?” she said through a yawn.
“I’m sorry.”
Emma grinned and flipped a lock of hair off of my forehead. “I know. You couldn’t have told me that tomorrow?”
“There’s…” I swallowed. “One of those things in my room.” I closed my eyes and breathed in a scent that didn’t belong to Emma. That scent belonged to Finn. One more thing telling me that this wasn’t where I belonged anymore. But I knew that before I came in here, didn’t I? No matter what
Noah said, the only place I felt like I belonged anymore was with Anaya. She could push me away all she wanted, but when she looked in my eyes, I could see it. She felt it, too.
“Did it follow you?” Her gaze flicked to the edge of the room and I shook my head. She relaxed into her pillow. “Good. You can sleep in here if you want to.”
“No way. Your bed smells like a dude,” I said.
She laughed that sleepy laugh that reminded me of when we were kids camping out in the backyard, hopped up on marshmallows and chocolate.
“How many times have I had to endure the various god-awful perfumes left behind in your room?
Payback’s hell, isn’t it?”
She was right. She’d put up with my sleeping around for the past two years. Payback was exactly what I deserved. I didn’t have a right to be jealous of Finn, or any other guy she decided to date. Not when I’d been throwing girls in her face for as long as I could remember.
She touched the spot between my brows and frowned. “Did you drink the green shake I made for you earlier?”
“You mean the sewage you put in a glass and gave to me?” I arched a brow. She slapped my arm and I grinned. “I drank it. I won’t tell you it was delicious, because it wasn’t. It kind of tasted like ass.
But it did make me feel better,” I lied.
“It’s good for you,” she said. “And you look pale. Do you want some juice? I looked up this recipe earlier that had carrots and apples, so it might taste a little bett—”
I grabbed her hand, cutting her off, and sighed. “Em,
Her bottom lip trembled and she squeezed my hand. “I don’t know what else to do. I can’t lose you, Cash.”
I hated that this was happening to us. It took her so long to get over losing her dad. She still wasn’t all the way there. What was going to happen when she lost me?
“You know what? I think I could go for some of that juice you were talking about.” I was getting too good at lying to her. “I bet it will help.” Anything to erase the hurt, helpless look in her eyes.
“Really?” Her face lit up.
“Yeah, really.” I smiled and sat up, rubbing my hand around on her head to muss her hair even more than it already was.
“Hey!” She batted my hand away and ran her fingers through the tangles, cringing. “I’ve got knots now, jerk.”
“That was the point.” I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the door. I didn’t want to go back into that room. I couldn’t. I didn’t really want to stay here either, though, pretending that things were the way they used to be. Emma’s hand settled on my shoulder.
“This is going to get better,” she whispered. “I promise.”
“I don’t believe you,” I whispered back through the ache in my throat. “I want to. But I can’t.”
“Then I’ll believe enough for both of us.”
The door creaked open and Finn crept in, settling on the end of the bed, looking uncomfortable.
Thinking about what Noah said, I didn’t know how to feel about him. I knew better than to mention
Noah, but he didn’t say I couldn’t ask questions.
“Did you work for Balthazar?” I asked him. “Before all…
He looked surprised, but answered. “Yes.”
“Is he bad?
“What do you mean?” His brows pulled together.
“I mean, what is he capable of?” I asked. “Do you trust him?”
“He has the power of God at his fingertips, Cash,” he said, a hard edge to his voice. “He’s capable of anything. Do I think he’s evil? No. Do I think he’d go unimaginable lengths to get something he wants? Yes.”
I studied Finn’s expression, trying to determine if he was telling the truth. As much as I wanted to trust him, Noah’s warnings kept coming back to me, telling me not to trust anyone on this side. I knew
I trusted Emma. But this guy who had swept in and stolen her out of my life…no. I wasn’t ready to trust him yet. Not when he was hiding things from me. And even now, I felt like there was more to the story than he was telling. Maybe even more than he wanted Emma to know. The fact was, Noah was the only one being honest with me in this. He was the only one giving me enough information to make any kind of choice.
“And what do you think he’d do to get me?” I finally asked.
Finn frowned, something dark and secret flashing behind his eyes. “Why do you think he wants you?”
I stared out the window and shook my head, not really knowing how much to say. Em was sitting right here and that pretty much made my decision for me. “Just what if he did?”
“If he really wanted you?” Finn sighed. “He’d do anything.”
The nighttime air felt good in my lungs. The rest of me didn’t seem to like it so much. I pulled the scarf a little tighter around my neck and looked up and down the quiet street before stepping out onto the road. A chill pulsed through me, all the way through to my bones. My teeth chattered as I walked under the green glow of the streetlamp. My jaw felt sore. Everything did. My stomach clenched and ached from puking up the radioactive- looking shake and two glasses of carrot juice Em had forced down my throat. But I couldn’t go back in that room. Not when I wasn’t sure if I’d wake up. A warm glow spread out around me and a set of soft footsteps approached me from behind. Anaya.
“Hey,” I said brokenly, then stopped to clear my throat.
“Wow,” she said. “A real greeting. Don’t you want to yell at me some more?”
I sighed and turned around to face her. She looked like her own little sun standing there in the night.
So out of place in the dark around her.
“Don’t you ever get tired of fighting with me?” I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked up at the moon so I wouldn’t look at her. I wanted to look at her more than I should. And that scared me more than the rest of it combined.
“Yes,” she said so soft I almost didn’t hear her.
I gave in and let my eyes gravitate back to her. “So what are you doing out here, lighting up the whole neighborhood like a firefly?”
Anaya smiled. Just a small one, but it was enough make warmth bloom inside my chest.
“I’ve been out here for a while,” she said, staring at the ground. “I figured out I don’t have to be in the room with you. Most of them will stay away even if I’m just outside. I thought this might be… better.”
She bit her bottom lip and looked away. She looked…hurt. She was Death, for Christ’s sake. Was that even possible? Besides, I was the one who got rejected the last time we’d been together. I frowned at the uncomfortable twist in my gut seeing her this way and walked over to one of the big maple trees that lined the street. I pressed my back against the bark and slid down until I felt the cool grass beneath me.
