the metabolism.'
'My metabolism doesn't need it, thank you. All I require is one elderly, wealthy private patient.'
'Not going to marry me, Jill?'
'After my future husband kicks off, yes. Or maybe I'll be so rich I can afford to keep you as a pet.'
'Best offer I've had in months. How about starting tonight?'
'After he kicks off.'
During their cocktails the musical show plus lavish commercials which had been banging their eardrums from the stereo tank suddenly stopped. An announcer's head and shoulders filled the tank; he smiled sincerely and said, 'NWNW, New World Networks and its sponsor of the hour, Wise Girl Maithusian Lozenges, is honored and privileged to surrender the next few minutes to a special, history-making broadcast by the Federation Government. Remember, friends, every wise girl uses Wise Girls. Easy to carry, pleasant to take, guaranteed no-fail, and approved for sale without prescription under Public Law 1312, Why take a chance on old-fashioned, unesthetic, harmful, unsure methods? Why risk losing his love and respect? Remember The lovely, lupine announcer glanced aside and hurried through the rest of his commercial: 'I give you the Wise Girl, who in turn brings you the Secretary General - and the Man from Mars!'
The 3-D picture dissolved into that of a young woman, so sensuous, so unbelievably mammalian, so seductive, as to make every male who saw her unsatisfied with local talent. She stretched and wiggled and said in a bedroom voice, 'I always use Wise Girl.'
The picture dissolved and a full orchestra played the opening bars of Hail to Sovereign Peace. Ben said, 'Do you use Wise Girl?'
'None o' your business!' She looked ruffled and added, 'It's a quack nostrum. Anyhow, what makes you think I need it?'
Caxton did not answer; the tank had filled with the fatherly features of Mr. Secretary General Douglas. 'Friends,' he began, 'fellow citizens of the Federation, I have tonight a unique honor and privilege. Since the triumphant return of our trail-blazing ship Champion-' He continued in a few thousand well-chosen words to congratulate the citizens of Earth on their successful contact with another planet, another civilized race. He managed to imply that the exploit of the Champion was the personal accomplishment of every citizen of the Federation, that any one of them could have led the expedition had he not been busy with other serious work - and that he, Secretary Douglas, had been chosen by them as their humble instrument to work their will. The flattering notions were never stated baldly, but implied; the underlying assumption being that the common man was the equal of anyone and better than most - and that good old Joe Douglas embodied the common man. Even his mussed cravat and cowlicked hair had a 'just folks' quality.
Bert Caxton wondered who had written the speech. Jim Sanforth, probably - Jim had the most subtle touch of any member of Douglas' staff in selecting the proper loaded adjective to tickle and soothe an audience; he had written advertising commercials before he went into politics and had absolutely no compunctions. Yes, that bit about 'the hand that rocks the cradle' was clearly Jim's work - Jim was the sort of jerk who would entice a young girl with candy and consider it a smart operation.
'Turn it off!' Jill said urgently.
'Huh? Shut up, pretty foots. I've got to hear this.'
'-and so, friends, I have the honor to bring you now our fellow citizen Valentine Michael Smith, the Man from Mars! Mike, we all know you are tired and have not been well - but will you say a few words to your friends? They all want to see you.'
The stereo scene in the tank dissolved to a semi-close-up of a man in a wheel chair. Hovering over him like a favorite uncle was Douglas and on the other side of the chair was a nurse, stiff, starched, and photogenic.
Jill gasped. Ben whispered fiercely, 'Keep quiet! I don't want to miss a word of this.'
The interview was not long. The smooth babyface of the man in the chair broke into a shy smile; he looked at the cameras and said, 'Hello, folks. Excuse me for sitting down. I'm still weak.' He seemed to speak with difficulty and once the nurse interrupted to take his pulse.
In answer to questions from Douglas he paid compliments to Captain van Tromp and the crew of the Champion, thanked everyone for his rescue, and said that everyone on Mars was terribly excited over contact with Earth and that he hoped to help in welding strong and friendly relations between the two planets. The nurse interrupted again, but Douglas said gently. 'Mike, do you feel strong enough for just one more question?'
'Sure, Mr. Douglas - if I can answer it.'
'Mike? What do you think of the girls here on Earth?'
'Gee!'
The baby face looked awestruck and ecstatic and turned pink. The scene dissolved again to the head and shoulders of the Secretary General. 'Mike asked me to tell you,' he went on in fatherly tones, 'that he will be back to see you as soon as he can. He has to build up his muscles, you know. The gravity of Earth is as rough on him as the gravity of Jupiter would be to us. Possibly next week, if the doctors say he is strong enough.' The scene shifted back to the exponents of Wise Girl lozenges and a quick one-act playlet made clear that a girl who did not use them was not only out of her mind but undoubtedly a syntho in the hay as well; men would cross the street to avoid her. Ben switched to another channel, then turned to Jill and said moodily, 'Well, I can tear up tomorrow's column and look around for a new subject to plug. They not only made my today's squawk look silly but it appears that Douglas has him safely under his thumb.'
'Ben!'
'Huh?'
'That's not the Man from Mars!'
'What? Baby, are you sure?'
'Sure I'm sure! Oh, it looked like him, it looked a great deal like him. Even the voice was similar. But it was not the patient I saw in that guarded room.'
Ben tried to shake her conviction. He pointed out that several dozen other persons were known to have seen Smith - guards, internes, male nurses, the captain and crew members of the Champion, probably others. Quite a few of that list must have seen this newscast - or at least the administration would have to assume that some of them would see it and spot the substitution? if there had been a substitution. It did not make sense - too great a risk.
Jill did not offer logical rebuttal; she simply stuck out her lower lip and insisted that the person on Stereo was not the patient she had met. Finally she said angrily, 'All right, all right, have it your own way! I can't prove I'm right - so I must be wrong. Men!'
'Now, Jill?'
'Please take me home.'
Ben silently went for a cab. He did not accept one from outside the restaurant even though he no longer thought that anyone would be taking interest in his movements; he selected one from the landing flat of a hotel across the way. Jill remained chilly on the flight back. Presently Ben got out the transcripts of the sounds picked up from Smith's hospital room and reread them. He read them still again, thought for a while, and said, 'Jill?'
'Yes, Mr. Caxton?'
'I'll 'mister' you! Look, Jill, I'm sorry, I apologize. I was wrong.'
'And what leads you to this momentous conclusion?'
He slapped the folded papers against his palm. 'This. Smith could not possibly have been showing this behavior yesterday and the day before and then have given that interview tonight. He would have flipped his controls and gone into one of those trance things.'
'I am gratified that you have finally seen the obvious.'
'Jill, will you kindly kick me in the face a couple of times, then let up? This is serious. Do you know what this means?'
'It means they used an actor to fake an interview. I told you that an hour ago.'
'Sure. An actor and a good one, carefully typed and coached. But it implies much more than that. As I see it, there are two possibilities. The first is that Smith is dead and-'
'Dead!' Jill suddenly was back in that curious water-drinking ceremony and felt the strange, warm, unworldly flavor of Smith's personality, felt it with unbearable sorrow.
'Maybe. In which case this ringer will be allowed to stay 'alive' for a week or ten days, until they have time to
