Welcome to Sugartown

I assure him it won’t happen again and nudge Sammy forward, before turning to face the firing squad.

“Sammy, get back here!” Ana screams after her brother but I pull her toward me to stop her from going after him. The fairy floss stand is less than five metres away and I’m keeping a close eye on him, but she’s not satisfied with that and struggles in my grasp.

“Let go of me.”

“He’s fine. I sent him across to get us some sugary goodness. You look like you need it.”

“What the hell happened back there, Elijah?” God, she’s so fucking hot when she’s fuming. “I leave him alone with you for five seconds and already he’s swearing like a sailor?”

“Come on, baby girl, it was an accident.”

“Yes, because I can totally see how the words cock-blocking slip out when you’re conversing with a six year old. You have to be careful around him, Elijah. Kids are like sponges, they absorb everything they see and hear. What the hell am I going to do when he repeats something like that in class?”

“Hey, would you relax?” I rub my hands up and down her arms. “Kids say all kinds of shit these days.”

“Relax? Is that what you’re going to be, relaxed, when my dad’s castrating you for teaching his son what cock-blocking means?”

“That depends. Will you come and nurse me back to health?” I kiss her lips and begin trailing kisses down her neck, careful to indulge that sweet spot that she loves so much just beneath her ear.

“Maybe.” She’s still not happy with me, so I dart my tongue out and lap at the soft skin. Fuck she tastes good, like vanilla and cookie dough. Her breathing becomes heavier, her eyelids close and her mouth opens in an ‘O’. “Okay, yes!”

“Ewww, groth,” Sammy pipes up. He’s standing behind Ana with a tower of cellophane bags full of fairy floss.

Ana spins around and baulks when she sees his cargo. “Geez, Sammy, why not buy the whole stand?”

“I tried. He thaid I didn’t have enough.”

“Come on, kids, I think the monster trucks are about to start.” I take the bags from Sammy, tucking them under my arm before they end up all over the ground. I slip the other around Ana’s waist and slide it into her back pocket, where it belongs.

On the drive home, Sammy stretches out across the front seat of Bob’s Chevy, his head on Ana’s lap, legs tucked into a ball and feet dangling off the edge.

Ana is quiet; but I know she’s not still pissed at me. I made sure of that by kissing her stupid outside the giant jumping castle while Sammy bounced around, head-butting other kids. I glance over. It’s hard to see clearly because of the lack of street lights, but she looks like she’s waging some sort of internal battle.

“You okay, baby girl?” Her terrified eyes meet mine and I almost veer off the road. “Ana, what’s wrong?”

“I love you.”

Then I do veer off the road, just onto the gravel shoulder, but it’s enough to jolt Sammy awake, enough that Ana cries out and clutches him to her for dear life. I have a brief disagreement with the steering wheel and then guide the car back onto the road. Sammy’s back asleep before we even leave the bloody shoulder and I stare straight ahead at the road before me while my heart thrashes around in my chest.

I haven’t a clue how to deal with this situation. Seriously. I’m trembling, the blood is whooshing in my ears and I’ve got a white-knuckled grip on the wheel. The last person to say those words to me …

Lilly.

My chest cleaves open as the unwelcome memory rapes my mind. “Be good for mum, okay Lil?”

“I will.” she beams. Her dark curls brush against my face and her little arms squeeze like a vice around my neck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this bloody excited.

“I love you Lijhie.”

Those were the last words she ever said.

Fuck! I should have walked away from Ana before now. I should have told her the truth: that getting into bed with me means having more than just her heart compromised. It could mean her safety, too.

“Are you going to say something?” she whisper-yells, careful not to wake Sammy, and god help me she’s pissed again. Probably more so than I’ve ever seen her.

I panic and blurt out the first thing—no, the only thing—that’s going through my head. “The last person to say that to me was Lilly.”

Her brows shoot skyward and I see tears prick her eyes. “Oh.”

I know what she’s thinking, and I hurry to chase away the hurt I see written all over her face. “Lilly was my kid sister.”

“Oh.” She nods and looks out the window, like the view is particularly interesting. It might’ve been, if it wasn’t pitch black outside. “Was?”

“Yeah, was.”

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me anymore if you don’t want to.”

“It’s okay. I can see how much you want to know.”

“Elijah—”

“You gonna shut up long enough for me to get a word in?”

She nods gravely and chews her bottom lip. I can see already how much this is affecting her, and I know why it has her on the verge of tears. She’s so soft-hearted that way, a part of me resents having to tell her this wrenching truth for fear it’ll hurt her.

“She was all excited about going away with my mum for a girl’s weekend. They were getting out of the city and taking off to some horse ranch where Lil was going to learn to ride. She was obsessed with them, horses. Had them plastered all over her room, though she’d never even come face to face with one.” I shake my head as I remember all that crazy plastic My Little Pony shit I used to trip over in the hallway.

Ana’s voice is a whisper, like she’s afraid I’ll stop talking if she speaks too loudly. “What happened?”

“They never even made it past the front gate.”

“Why not?” Her eyes are wide with horror and glistening. The tears spill down her cheeks and I look away so I don’t run us off the road again.

“Lil wrapped her arms around me, she was so damn excited she forgot for a minute to be embarrassed by her big brother. She said ‘I love you Lijhie.’ I strapped her in the car, kissed Mum goodbye, and turned and walked back to the house. The next thing I know there’s a big motherfucking explosion, and parts of our four-wheel drive are raining down all over me. There was nothing of them left to bury.”

She’s sobbing now, so hard that I’m not sure how it doesn’t wake Sammy on her lap; maybe he’s slipped into a sugar coma after all that fairy floss.

“Jesus, baby girl. Don’t cry.” I swipe at my eyes with the back of my hands.

“How can you stand it?” she sobs quietly. I can see the effort it’s taking her to quit crying, to try to be strong for me. “How are you even a functioning human being after something like that?”

I shrug, but the truth is, I’ve had a long time to think about this and here’s the only answer I can come up with: “The world doesn’t stop because a couple of people die. Families die every day.”

I glance over at Sammy. His head rests in Ana’s lap. Her fingers absently stroke the side of his face as she cries. I’d give anything to trade places with him right now. “At first, you’re not sure how you’ll survive something that crushing, and then one day you get up and you go about living again. Or, in most cases, you just get through, one day to the next.”

“I’m so sorry this happened to you.” Her tears have eased up a little, but she’s still at risk of drowning her kid brother. I tell her as much and she shakes her head and presses her palms to her eyes.

“Where was your dad in all this?”

I feel white-hot rage burn through me at the mention of that worthless piece of shit. “Dead.”

Ana stops rubbing her eyes and gapes at me. “Oh, Elijah.” She reaches over and brushes my face with her tiny hand. I take hold of it with my own and place a kiss to her soft flesh. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, and the