along. “She’s gorgeous, she can cook, and she’s a good girl. What else would you want? If no one wants her, I’m game.”
Anger boiled through me, and I reached over and grabbed Riley by the collar of his jacket. “You touch her and you die. You got it?” I knew the way he treated girls and there was no way in hell I was going to let him do the same to Estella.
Riley’s eyes darted left and right as fear shot through his face. “V-vin, relax, I was kidding. I’m not interested.”
Two hands clamped down on my shoulders, and Goat and Tyson pulled me back. “Relax, Vin,” Tyson was saying, and when our eyes met, I could tell that he was surprised by my reaction. He ran a nervous hand through his hair. “You sure you’re not with her? ‘Cos’ you’re sure as hell acting like it.”
I shook him off and took a step back, breathing heavily. What the fuck was wrong with me? Where had that reaction just come from? When had I become so protective of this girl who looked down on everything I stood for?
“It’s not that,” I lied. “Dylan warned me not to mess things up this time. I’ve scared off all his tutors and I don’t want the kid to be disappointed in me if I scare Estella off too. Trust me, she already hates me enough.”
“Good,” Tyson said, and there was a warning in his voice, “because you know Ryder wouldn’t want you getting serious about some girl. Especially when you have a big fight coming up. You can’t have any distractions, Vin. You know that, right? I’m supposed to take care of ya.”
It was always about what Ryder wanted. It was never about what the rest of us wanted. If Ryder said something, we all had to follow him blindly, regardless of whether he was right or wrong.
Fuck Ryder.
But that’s not what I said, even though the guys surrounding me had my back. This was my half of the gang; these were the guys who supported me. They were my friends. Even within our gang, there was a clear divide. There were the guys who believed that I should be leading the Madden gang. I was the prizefighter. I was the one who was unbeatable. I was the one who brought in a shitload of money.
Yet Ryder’s supporters believed that Ryder should head the gang because he was the one who’d created it. He was the oldest; he was the toughest; he was the cruelest. Ryder’s friends outnumbered mine in the gang. They were older and they were just dirtier. They had dirty ways of getting money out of people. They were the ones who’d started dealing drugs on the side. That was something I didn’t want to get involved in.
So there was the stupid silent split within our group, but no one ever did anything to try and fix it. It was probably always going to be there, but that was okay. I didn’t care about leading the gang; I just cared about having enough money to make sure Dylan got through school.
“Yeah, I know.” I felt like an asshole as my eyes sought out Riley. “I didn’t mean to get rough with you. Sometimes I just lose it because of stupid shit.”
Riley didn’t seem pissed at me, which surprised me. I figured he’d hate my sorry ass for being such a dick. “Hey, don’t worry about it. You like her; I get it.”
Some of the other guys snickered, and heat crept up my neck. I ignored him because I didn’t know what the fuck to say to that. Was that why I was acting like this? Because I liked her? That couldn’t be the reason. It had to be something else.
“Hey,” Goat said, walking away a few steps and gesturing for me and Tyson to join him. “I saw Ruby on Sunday.”
I didn’t respond. I didn’t know what a normal reaction to the situation was, so I just kept my mouth shut.
Tyson spoke instead, leaning forward eagerly. “Really? Where’d you see her?” He tried to act like he didn’t care in front of Ryder, but I knew there was a huge part of him that wanted Ruby back in his life.
As for me, I was too far gone. Despite the many things I didn’t agree with Ryder on, this wasn’t one of them. He was right to keep Ruby out of our lives. We didn’t owe her anything.
Goat flicked his cigarette onto the ground and put it out with a shoe. “She was at the bar in town where she always is.”
I snorted. “Where else would she be?”
“Look, I wouldn’t normally bring it up.” Goat’s expression turned serious. “But she didn’t look good, Vin. She had a black eye and there were bruises on her arms. Some asshole is really beating the crap out of her.”
Bunching up my fists, I tried not to react to his words, but there was a part of me that was really pissed off. I shouldn’t care, but I did. Why the fuck did I care?
“Do you know who she’s seeing?” Tyson asked, his voice shaking with anger.
Goat opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.
“Why the fuck should we care, Son? She doesn’t give a damn about any of us.”
Tyson fell silent, his expression torn. I knew he wanted to argue with me, but somehow I had more of an influence over him, even though I was younger. I knew he wouldn’t say anything against me.
“So let’s just fucking drop this, okay?” The warning was clear in my voice and Tyson nodded, storming off in the direction of the creek.
I didn’t bother following him. He had to resolve his Ruby issues on his own. No one was going to fix them for him. He had to realize eventually that holding onto her was a sign of weakness.
Goat stared at Tyson’s retreating figure, looking stunned. “Shit, Vin. I’m sorry. I didn’t think-”
“It’s fine.” But a part of me wasn’t fine with it, and despite what I’d just said to Tyson, I had to know. “Who’s she seeing?”
Goat hesitated, clearly wondering if he should tell me or not. “There’s this guy who comes into the bar a lot—Mikey. He’s a total douchebag; beats up on all the women he sleeps with.”
The name sounded familiar. Ruby had mentioned that name the last time she’d been here. Her story of getting beaten up hadn’t stirred any sympathy from me because as usual, I thought she’d been spewing bullshit.
“Right.” My jaw tensed, and I could feel the blood pumping through my veins. I couldn’t understand why I was letting this get to me. I didn’t give two shits about Ruby or who she was fucking.
“You okay, man?” There was a hint of concern in Goat’s question, and I knew he was worried I was gonna snap again.
When people saw Goat—big guy, muscular, lots of tattoos—they got freaked out by him. It was just a natural reaction to the way he looked. But Goat wasn’t what everyone assumed he was. He’d been through a lot of shit in his life—getting beaten up by his dad all the time and having his mom commit suicide when he was just a kid. If there was one person who really gave a damn about you, then that was Goat. There was way more to him than just being in the Madden gang.
“Yeah, I’ll be okay.” I said, because I didn’t know what else to say. “Let’s head back in.”
West and Three still hadn’t come out and it’d been a long time since we’d come outside. What the hell were they doing?
The guys followed me up the front steps. As soon as we stepped inside, jazz music drifted into the hallway from the kitchen.
“What the fuck is that?” Cohen asked from somewhere behind me.
“Dude! Estella will kill you!” Goat said.
“Shit!” Cohen said. “Crap! I swore again!”
Ignoring them, I headed straight to the kitchen, knowing what I was going to find there. It had become a routine for Estella and Dylan to dance after dinner, and I knew that’s what they were doing. What I didn’t expect to find was Three with his arms around Estella as he swung her around the room.
Estella was laughing. The blonde highlights in her hair gleamed as they caught the overhead light of the kitchen. She didn’t notice the eight of us crammed into the doorway, the guys behind me pushing and shoving to get a glimpse of what was going on.
West was leaning against the kitchen counter, watching them with a smile on his face, and Dylan sat at the kitchen table with his back to us, tapping his feet in time to the music. Three gripped Estella by the waist and lifted her up in a spin.
Estella squealed and clung onto him, still laughing. And that’s when a monster started clawing at me from
