forget for a whole night. Not just the precious minutes when his kindness, his touch, his kiss had given her respite from her pain.
She’d wanted to be selfish. To beg, cajole, humiliate herself, until he gave her more. Until he gave her everything.
Her marriage had been far from a meeting of soul-mates. Friendship with Luke was richer and more fulfilling than all the sacred vows she’d taken with Peter. Too valuable to risk on the fleeting satisfaction of something more physical.
Besides…Luke was her boss, her colleague. And most importantly, Luke was a father with a daughter who needed him very much right now.
Terri took a deep breath and faced the truth. The last thing Luke needed was someone as broken as she was, clinging and demanding his time and attention.
Luke jammed his hands into his jeans pockets and took a deep lungful of air. The sweet smell of freshly mown grass mingled with the damp of the evening, helping to soothe his frazzled nerves. Leaving Terri was torment. But if he was to have any integrity at all, he had to.
He blew out a long breath.
She’d opened up to him, told him things that made his gut ache with the agony of them. He’d held her slender frame, felt the silent bottled-up grief in her trembling body, and he’d wanted to weep for her. Regardless of the state of her marriage, having Peter ripped from her life like that was a tragedy almost beyond comprehension.
Any hopes, any dreams, any chance of reconciliation had been lost in an instant. Cruel, senseless, irrevocable.
He was almost sure there was more. But why hadn’t she told him? She was a very private person. Perhaps telling him as much as she had was all she could handle to start with. He could respect that and when she was ready to tell him more, he’d be there for her.
They’d made a start and he’d been content with that…
Then his altruism had evaporated and he’d wanted everything a red-blooded man wanted from a beautiful woman.
He’d wanted to break all his self-imposed rules.
He wasn’t proud of himself. Knowing that, given the tiniest bit more encouragement, he’d have taken shameful advantage of a grief-stricken widow.
He’d nearly been unmanned when she’d looked up at him with her big brown eyes. She’d seen worse things than he could imagine. He’d wanted to take away her pain and heartbreak. To hold her, kiss her, touch her.
But he knew it wasn’t that simple and, rather than risk the small progress they’d made, he’d chosen caution. It had taken all his strength to let her go, do the honourable thing. He didn’t want her to do anything she’d regret. Their relationship was new, complex and far too fragile for a quick tumble into bed.
Why, then, did he have the nagging feeling that he’d let her down tonight?
His restraint hadn’t been what she’d wanted, but he knew it was what she needed. Could she have read his retreat as rejection?
His footsteps slowed. He could go back, explain he wanted her more than life itself. Explain he wanted them to get it right, that it was too important for a quick grab at gratification.
Undecided, he stood looking at the cottage then with a small sigh he reluctantly turned for home. Going back now wouldn’t be a good idea.
He’d make sure they talk again soon.
He’d make sure she understood how much he wanted her.
CHAPTER NINE
THE next day, Terri hung her white coat on the hook on the clinic-room door and turned to look at her reflection in the mirror. She smoothed her hair, straightened her shirt and ran a quick eye over the profile of her lower half in the new black jeans.
Then she looked herself in the eye and wrinkled her nose. How much more comfortable it was to fuss with her appearance than to think about the thing that was really bothering her.
She didn’t want to run into him yet. Last night he’d seen her at her worst. She’d been so vulnerable, so needy.
She didn’t want to remember that he had the strength to resist her advances. He did a charming line in rejection, very gentle but firm. She grimaced. Too much self-respect to allow himself to be used. She should appreciate that…she
At least she’d slept well last night and for that she was grateful to Luke, his insight, his pushing. It had helped rather than harmed to talk about Peter. She’d expected to relive the explosion in vivid, torturous nightmares after Luke had gone. But she hadn’t. Her sleep had been dreamless and refreshing.
She moved across to the desk and stacked the patient records she’d used that morning. Scooping them up into her arms, she walked to the door.
With her hand on the knob, she paused and took a deep breath. No point skulking in the office. Seeing Luke was unavoidable as they were both on duty for the day. Her only hope was that he’d been called out for an emergency case but that seemed unlikely as she hadn’t been notified that she’d need to take cases from the second list.
She marched out of the room and was nearly at the front desk when surprise had her halting in mid- stride.
‘Uncle Mick.’ Perhaps she wasn’t finished after all. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Tee.’ His smile was quick and nervous, almost guilty.
‘Have you got an appointment now?’ she asked. ‘I didn’t see you on my list but I can see you now if you like.’
‘Um, no. Didn’t want to trouble you, love. So, I, um, well, you know…should be running along.’ Colour ran into his cheeks and he shuffled his feet.
‘Are you sure? You seem upset.’ Terri was perplexed.
‘Fine, I’m fine, love. I just…’ Her uncle cleared his throat and then his gaze slid past her. His expression was a mixture of relief and consternation. ‘Um, thanks, Luke. I’ll, er, catch up with you about those results.’ His face turned even redder. ‘See you at the track, Tee.’
Frowning, she watched him hurry away. She turned to see Luke slide his used files into the tray. He added a couple of blood tubes to the laboratory test basket. She glanced at the name on the top file.
‘Uncle Mick’s been to see you?’
‘Yes.’ Luke looked a little uncomfortable. ‘Look, let’s grab a cuppa and have a chat.’
‘Is there a problem?’
‘No, of course not.’
Her spirits plummeted. ‘There must be if he’s asked to see you. It’s just that I thought after I’d diagnosed his diabetes…he’s been feeling so much better…Oh, dear, this is such a backward step-I thought he finally believed that I knew what I was doing after all.’
‘He does. Your uncle has nothing but praise for you.’ Luke leaned across and wrapped his hands around the records she held. She released them quickly as his fingers brushed the skin on her forearm. He placed the files into the tray and said, ‘On second thoughts, let’s have lunch. We’ve got some other things to discuss as well and-’
‘But he can’t be happy with me if he’s come to see you.’
‘Terri, there are some things that make a man draw a line.’
‘Oh. Is he still embarrassed about the incident the other night?’ She frowned. ‘I thought we’d got past that. I
