In the After

I look at the pills in the cup the nurse hands me. It would be so simple. I could just take them and stop taking the antidote. I could forget again. But I won’t.

If I did, I would be no better than them.

I had wanted the truth so badly. I thought it would be easier to face the world as it was, Florae infested, if I just knew where They came from. What They were.

I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Gareth once told me that ignorance was bliss and I’d responded that ignorance was dangerous. We were both right. But which was better?

If I’d chosen to remain ignorant, would I be happier? If I’d chosen to leave it alone, not to pry, would I still have my family, still have Baby? I knew that was not an option. I would never have left it alone. I would never have given up.

I made my choice and there is no going back.

* * *

“Where is my mother?” I asked Rice. I caught him just as he was leaving a restricted area.

“Amy, I thought you had your training test today. What happened? How did it go?” He regarded me, bewildered. I’d showered and changed out of my synth-suit, but I know I still had a wild look in my eyes.

“I passed,” I told him. “I’m a Guardian now.”

“That’s great! I knew you would.” He grinned and hugged me, and I almost lost my resolve and melted into his arms. But I pulled back quickly.

“Where is my mother?” I asked again.

“Working.” His smile faded. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Take me to her.”

“I—I can’t. She’s in a restricted area.”

I willed myself to appear calm. “I just want to tell her that I’m a Guardian now.”

“She’ll be really proud.” Rice nodded. “But you know I can’t let you inside.”

With a flash of insight I decided to change tactics. I grabbed him in a bear hug. “I’m just so happy, Rice. I’ve wanted this for so long. . . .”

“Oh . . . I know, Amy. I think things are really going to work out for you now.” When I let go, he looked flushed but relieved.

“You’re coming to my birthday party later, aren’t you?” I asked. “Baby will be happy to see you.”

“Of course. We have even more to celebrate now.”

I nodded and walked away, pretending I was heading for home, but then I ducked around the building and waited for Rice to leave. I felt bad deceiving him, but I had no choice. After he was gone, I headed back to the black door, armed with the key card I’d stolen from his pocket.

I didn’t remember exactly how to get to my mother’s office, but I opened the door nearest the elevator and ducked inside to gather my thoughts. It was a small, empty office, and I spotted a lab coat thrown over a chair. I grabbed the coat and put it on, figuring it would make me less conspicuous. I heard voices in the hall and I peeked out the door. Lab assistants. I followed them at a safe distance.

Eventually they led me to the hall where one side was lined with doors, the other with glass. The hall with the cells, each holding a Florae. The creatures shuffled slowly, circling their confined spaces. I kept going down the hall. At the last black door I turned the knob and entered my mother’s office.

She was at her desk and looked up, startled. “What . . . Amy?” Her hands froze above her keyboard. “How did you get down here?”

I pulled out the necklace. It was still covered in the black-green blood of a Florae.

She looked at the object and back at me, the shock and puzzlement clear on her face. “What is this? Where did you get it?”

“I found it around the neck of a Florae.” I told her. “After I decapitated it to pass my final Guardian test.”

“Amy! I knew you would. . . . Wait, you took the final test today? I thought—”

“That’s Vivian’s necklace,” I said, cutting her off. “Why would a Florae be wearing Vivian’s necklace?”

My mother let out a long sigh and rubbed her face with her palms. She got up and walked over to the office door, glancing outside before closing and locking it. Then she returned to her desk and settled wearily into her chair. “Vivian didn’t die during that awful incident. Not technically anyway.”

“The Floraes aren’t aliens, are they?”

She paused. “No.” My mother looked into my eyes. “Vivian was bitten by a creature and became a creature herself.”

Minutes passed in silence or perhaps it was only seconds. I reached back toward the wall, grasping for support, trying to process it all.

My mother looked at me and sighed again. “We were developing a strain of bacteria,” she finally explained. “Something the military commissioned, Dr. Reynolds in fact. They wanted a bug that would impair enemy soldiers without killing them.”

“Biological warfare,” I said.

“I wanted to save lives, Amy. The project was supposed to be an end to violence. The soldier would be sick for a few days, then recover completely. Even a short amount of time can give any military a huge advantage.” She was staring intently at me, willing me to understand.

“What happened?”

“It wasn’t ready. There were side effects. First it turned our test subjects’ skin green from the phytosterols. A few died before we realized they needed direct sunlight. I modified the bacteria, but then the subjects became incredibly hungry. They craved protein and could not be satiated. I was so close to developing a solution.

“I sent a sample to our New York office and a young lab assistant broke the slide. He cut his finger. Once it was in his bloodstream, the bacteria took hold and it was the beginning of the end. He turned into a bloodthirsty creature and infected everyone in the lab. It takes only one bite. They infected the city, then the country, then the world.”

“Why wasn’t there a quarantine?” I asked, my voice weak. “How did it spread so fast?”

“The bacteria mutated and became airborne. Some people began to show signs of the infection right away, but in others it lay dormant. Do you know how many people you can contaminate in an hour? Someone got through airport security. As soon as that happened, it was over. That’s how it traveled so quickly, why there are so many of them. The airborne strain soon died out, but the original strain remains. Now it can be transmitted by bodily fluids, most usually by saliva.”

“The creatures, they’re people,” I whispered. I finally allowed myself to say it.

“No, Amy, not anymore. Once you’re infected, you change; you’re no longer a human. I’ve studied them. Every ounce of humanity disappears.”

“So it’s all lies.” I regained my voice, raised it forcefully. “How many of those creatures actually got into New Hope and how many were our own citizens? What really happened that night?”

“It’s not all lies, Amy. Those thugs disabled all the sonic emitters. Using members of their gang as bait, they lured a dozen Floraes into New Hope.”

“A dozen Floraes? But there were so many people killed.”

“Some were killed. Most turned, then killed others.”

I thought back to the first day, sitting alone on the couch, seeing the horror of the Floraes for the first time. “But I saw the ship, the spaceship in Central Park.”

“That wasn’t a spaceship; that was a new piece of installation art. Some idiot newscaster decided it was a spaceship and that’s how the story spread. We decided it was better to portray the Floraes as an outside threat, not a plague manufactured by the government. The misinformation was a fortunate turn of events. Right now only a select few know the truth, those who can help us in our quest to eradicate the infection.”

“You did it,” I said, still trying to comprehend what she had told me. “You’re the reason all this happened. You’re the reason Dad died.” She watched me, her eyes full of pain. I glared at her, no longer knowing who she really was, what she was capable of.

She closed her eyes, exhaling through her teeth. “It was an accident, Amy. None of this was supposed to happen. We’re working on something now that will stop the infection. Don’t you see that’s why I’m here night and day?”