Beautifully Awake

“Boys. In case you forgot, three women are in the room. And no—I’m not ragging it.” I glared at Jackson and Guy. “And Sam, ignore these Neanderthals. They have no clue about anything. My best friend is pregnant, too. Hormones can seriously suck.” I had to defend my half of the human race. Not to mention, my secret boyfriend who was no longer in the room. Wow, I liked the sound of that.

“Sorry, doll. Told you that you don’t count. You’re always awesome. Don’t ever change your pill. It works for you.”

What the hell?

“How do you even know I’m on the pill?” This conversation was getting seriously awkward.

“We’ve had like four rotations together, all day, every day. You haven’t had a bitchy day yet; you’re definitely on the pill.”

Well, that was sweet. Totally inappropriate, but sweet. That’s what I got for hanging with the boys.

“Well, my wife’s going back on whatever you’re on as soon as this baby is born.” Sam rejoined the conversation, but he was so full of it. He adored his wife, and I was sure he was just trying to hang with the boys.

“Sam, shut it. I also heard pregnancy sex is fucking hot. Suck it up. I’d take hormonal and bitchy if it came with hormonal and horny any day.”

Leave it to Jackson to take it to yet another level. I shook my head and looked over at the other women, figuring we would share in a how stupid are these boys eye roll, but nope. They perfected the art of blending in and tuning out.

“Maybe that’s what the Chief needs?” Guy just couldn’t let it go.

“What’s that?” Jackson asked.

“Laid. Colton could probably use a good lay, lighten him up a bit.”

OMG. I wanted to crawl under the table.

Jackson chuckled. “Dude. Hate to break it to you. It’s you. Colton’s actually been in a pretty good mood lately. My guess, he’s not having any problem getting laid.”

Shoot me. I blushed fuchsia.

“You walk in, man, you push his buttons.” Jackson finished shaking his head.

“What the fuck did I do?” Guy was so oblivious.

The OR door swung open. Chase backed in swiftly, his muscular biceps flexed, arms dripping wet. “Do tell, Dr. Hunter. What the fuck did you do?” Chase’s tone was more relaxed from when he stormed out. Three and a half weeks since we met, the sight of him still took my breath away.

“Um, nothing. We’re good. Just about done with the dissection.”

Hearing Guy stutter, I was embarrassed for him. Shit. I was embarrassed for me. After all, they were commenting on our sex life without even knowing it. If Sierra were here, she would have been rolling on the floor by now. Awkward.

Chase re-gowned, gloved, and then took position at the head of the table. His quiet confidence commanded the room. “Good. Glad to see you can follow directions.” Maybe that was a compliment, but it oozed sarcasm.

“Piece of cake, Chief.” Jackson knew he just earned a little more of Chase’s trust in the operating department. “How’d it go down in the ER?”

“Fine. Should have been a non-issue if the ER had done a damn inservice on the equipment weeks ago like they were supposed to. Like I told them to. Doesn’t matter now. Can’t change anything. Patient will hopefully be fine, only time will tell, we’ll have to wait and see.” His voice drifted ever so slightly, but something small changed. Chase closed his eyes tightly for several seconds like someone did when they were stressed or praying or remembering.

I wondered what it was like to depend on your skill day in and day out to save a life … and to accept that some things were out of your control despite your talent and hard work. How many times had Chase had to wait and see? How many patients died despite his best effort? I doubted the boys realized the enormity of the responsibility they were training for.

Chase opened his eyes and the switch flipped back on. “So tell me. What did I miss? Suction.” Like anyone in the room was stupid enough to answer that one.

“Just Guy teasing Lili,” Sam chimed in out of nowhere. I raised my brow and gave Chase an I have no idea look. “You know the double standard, a man has a condom in his wallet for only one reason, right? We have to own it, but girls ... ever notice they’re all on the pill for bad cramps or irregular periods these days?”

What the hell, Sam. This was the save he came up with? Guy better have appreciated his intern stepping up, but I was going to kill him. Usually I handled hanging with the boys, but this needed a fast-forward.

“And this has to do with Ms. Porter, how?” Dr. Possessive was not a fan of the conversation. Neither was I.

“Not our Lili. All about the clear skin, right, girl?” Jackson rescued me. Kind of.

Clear skin. Right. I wished that was my impetus for starting birth control.

Chase glared over the short curtain. Those sexy stormy eyes yelled, Blue, I’m about to lose my fucking mind.

Crap, what if he had walked in on the real conversation.

The crazy talk came to an abrupt halt when an obnoxious beep echoed through the room, and seven sets of eyes turned toward the anesthesia cart.

“Carl. What the fuck’s your problem?” Chase growled as if he knew why the machines were beeping. He wasn’t alarmed this time, just angry. The blaring ominous tune brought back awful memories of the blood bath. “Silence the fucking alarm.”

Carl stared at the screen. Didn’t flinch. If looks killed, Wet Noodle needed CPR. Chase bordered on homicidal. In slow motion, Dr. Jennings finally reached up and hit a button, silencing the beep. “Just kinked IV tubing. Not a big deal.”

“Last time I checked, all the meds keeping my patient stable while I slice a huge tumor out of his brain are dripping through that tubing. It’s a huge fucking deal,” Chase roared then snapped over to my direction. “Blue, you ready?”

Shit, he just called me Blue. On a scale of one to ten, the tensity of the room was teetering on a twelve point five, so I doubted anyone noticed. Chase was so angry, his heavy breathing suctioned his mask to his face with each inhale. I kept his gaze, hoping to calm him. Wet Noodle was about five seconds from being tossed against a wall.

“I’m going to wake him up now. If Dr. Jennings thinks he can handle doing his fucking job.” Chase’s eyes bored into Wet Noodle before looking back at me. “Just keep him calm, Lili, but keep him talking. Just like you did in the other cases. You with me, Blue?” He softened, I loved that I did that for him.

“With you, Chase.” With you. For the first time I didn’t think twice about who was listening. I had no idea what we had or where it was going, but I needed him as much as he needed me right then.

The rest of the case went off without a hitch. The whole time the boys remained quiet and focused. I was thankful for small favors, no more talk of birth control or sexual frustrations.

Chase dismissed Jackson and Guy, while he took his time teaching Sam how to close. Or staple, or sew the patient’s head. Something crazy like that. Methodical and patient, he was an amazing teacher.

“Nice work, Dr. Petit,” Chase said sincerely. “Why don’t you go help Guy and Jackson with post-op checks. I’ve got this.”

“You’re sure?” Sam sounded shocked that his attending wanted to stay behind and transport the patient to recovery.

“Yes. Go,” Chase instructed. “Ms. Porter. Walk with me.”

My stare wandered down his sick body, imagining every hard curve. Flashes of our first night together in my hallway against the glass ran through my head.

Catching me in my seductive act, his devilishly sexy smirk appeared. “Um ... Ms. Porter, would you like to ... come?”