Beautifully Awake

phone.

How about you show me how much.

Where r u?

Of course Chase had a minute now. It was obvious they were in between cases, hence Guy standing in front of me. But I owed Guy a little time without interruption. Hell, I owed him some sort of explanation. Not only had I left him on the dance floor and run off, I ignored half a dozen texts asking to talk all weekend. Our friendship was important to me. Chase needed to wait.

Can’t right now :(

Xo

There was a fifty-fifty chance Dr. P would accept that response kindly, even with the xo, but I pushed send anyway and shoved my phone in my bag. Guy focused on the river; the air between us more awkward than ever.

“Sit.” I patted the open seat on the bench next to me. We were both acting so weird. I hated every second of it. “Um,” I stuttered, not knowing how to even start or what to say. I just wanted to make it right again.

He rested his arm along the back of the bench and faced me. “I’m sorry, doll,” he blurted before I could formulate a thought. “You know about the other night, about kissing you. I just thought, um, well I guess I had the wrong idea. I just thought we were on the same page. I guess I misread you. We just have so much fun together...” His gaze drifted back out at the water, avoiding eye contact. I fiddled with my nails.

“We do, Guy. I’m the one who needs to apologize. I never meant for you to think of our relationship as anything more than friends...”

If I was being honest with myself, there were a dozen times over the past few years I contemplated a relationship with Guy, thought of us as more than friends. But none of that mattered now. Because as amazing as Guy was, the truth was I was lucky to maintain a friendship. I was preoccupied with sleep-running through life. But that had all changed. Chase changed that. I wished I could explain that to my friend sitting in front of me. He deserved that and so much more.

“I really love you as my friend. Does that sound stupid? I don’t want anything to change, but I understand if it has to...” I cringed at my last statement. I didn’t want anything to change.

“Where were you yesterday?” Was this his way of deflection, not wanting to address where our friendship was headed? Kate made it pretty obvious “everyone” knew where I was.

“Oh. I had Sierra’s baby shower in Cape Cod this weekend. We didn’t get back until yesterday. She needed help getting settled.” Why did I lie? I sucked at lying, but for some reason I wasn’t ready to tell him the truth. Was it lame I didn’t want to hurt his feelings?

“Trip from the Cape can be a bitch, especially with traffic, huh?”

My breath hitched and my stomach sunk at Chase’s sarcastic and irritated tone. Shit. Caught. Was he really standing behind me right now? Guy looked over his shoulder. If he didn’t know I was lying before, he definitely knew now.

“Hunter, glad I found you. I want you and Jackson to scrub on my two o’clock, big spine case.”

“Oh, okay. Thought you only needed one of us.”

“Changed my mind,” he deadpanned.

“All right, I’m gonna head in then. Thanks, Colton.” Guy did the classic man smile and nod toward Chase, visibly pleased with his extra operating time this afternoon. “See ya later, Lil. We good?”

I smiled. “Yeah Guy, we’re good. See you later.” Guy stood up and walked back toward the hospital. My nervous stomach gurgled. Chase leaned against the back of the bench and crossed his arms over his chest. His stance was unnerving. I waited to turn around. I had a feeling we weren’t good.

“You lied?”

Yup. Shit. We were not good. I had no explanation. I had no excuse, none, and worse, I wasn’t even sure why I lied.

“Is there a reason you didn’t just tell him you were with me?”

“I don’t know.” That is the truth. “But he knows we’re only friends, I made that perfectly clear, but I don’t know ... it was awkward and I felt ... bad.”

“Blue, listen to me. I know I have a tendency to be jealous, but I’m trying very hard here. I trust you ... completely. I know where we stand. And I also know how important your friends are to you. I fucking love that about you. But Hunter should know about us. You’re not doing him any favors tiptoeing around his feelings. It’s not a secret anymore. Not that it’s a concern to me, but I know you care about the guy. How do you think he’s going to feel when he’s the last to realize that you’re mine? Forever.”

Maybe my Dr. Jealous took a backseat, but my Dr. Possessive was still front and center.

I stood up to face him, fully expecting to lock eyes with a brooding Dr. Intensity. I was shocked to find something else there. A benevolence that screamed I’m trying, baby. I had to laugh.

“Listen to you. What have you done with my boyfriend? Um, but seriously, thank you Chase. I love you and I love how you trust me. Believe me when I say you will never have a reason not to. As much as I’m yours, you’re mine.” I clasped my arms around his neck and lightly kissed his lips. “One question though, why did you sneak up on us, if you trust me so completely?”

Now it was his turn to laugh. “I never said I fucking liked the fact that my girl was sitting so close to another man on a secluded bench by a river, especially a man with proven feelings for her. Don’t think for a second I forgot he kissed you, for Christ’s sake. All I’m saying is don’t be surprised if Dr. Hunter doesn’t have a whole lot of free time. He wants to operate, he’s in luck—he’s going to operate his fucking fingers off.”

I shook my head and smirked. My Dr. Jealous wasn’t that far back, but we were good. Mmm. Chase and I were better than good.

26 Long and firm

Wow. Friday snuck up on me. I loved the four-day work week, especially when you were lucky enough to go to sleep and wake up in the arms of your dream man. Was that corny? Yeah, it probably was, but I really didn’t care. It was the truth. My truth.

Our relationship was solidified by the hospital grapevine, and for the most part, everyone was finally sick of discussing us. Jack seemed to be keeping Leanne entertained with their own sexcapades. She finally let up on the daily sabotage where she drilled me for the play by play. I thought Sierra was bad, but Leanne blew her out of the water when it came to gossip and sex. Damn, that girl knew how to make me blush.

Even Guy and I had a run in, oddly enough in the stairwell this time, and he seemed to be okay. It was time to stop tiptoeing around his feelings as Chase so kindly suggested. So when Guy half sarcastically asked, “So you and Colton, huh?” I went the honest route. My friend deserved that. “Yeah. We’re good, really good.” He assured me our friendship was solid, with a doll, you’re stuck with me. And that’s why I loved Guy. So accepting. Just a genuinely nice guy with a killer dimple. So now that all was wonderful in Lili world, I was ready to start my last weekend of the summer.

My dad and Sharon were visiting us next weekend for Labor Day to celebrate my birthday. And even though I was thrilled they were coming, I selfishly loved that Chase and I had this weekend to ourselves. A quiet drama- free two days. A normal weekend. We had yet to do normal.

Tonight I planned to surprise Chase with a romantic dinner since he always beat me to it. Plus, I always wanted to try Ethiopian food. The vision of Chase’s big frame crouched on the floor, criss-cross-applesauce, eating with his hands made me smile. I grabbed my phone to call for the reservation and saw the missed calls and text.

Call me ASAP.

There’s a vice squeezing my belly!

Was I just dreaming about a quiet weekend? Shit.