Beautifully Awake

Chase’s fit ended with a big exhale, but his smile didn’t budge. Fan-freakin-tastic. “On that note, ladies, let’s get you home.”

27 Awake

A word I would never tire of—home. A simple word that meant the world to me and rolled effortlessly off Chase’s sexy lips. I couldn’t wait. We tucked Sierra into her bed with plenty of magazines and several bottles of water and headed home.

“What do you want to do when your dad and Sharon come next weekend for your birthday?”

“I don’t know, show them around the city. Nothing crazy. I’m not much of a birthday girl.”

He stopped in front of my apartment. We got out and went inside.

“Who said anything about crazy?” Barely inside he made quick work of my clothes. My black shift dress was up and over my head in two seconds flat. He held me at arms’ length, clearly enjoying my black lace bra and matching thong.

“See something you like?” I batted my eyelashes, using his words like he had done to me so many times before.

“More than like, baby. I see my dessert, the only kind I crave.”

Goose bumps rose over my sensitive skin as he took his time running his greedy hands over all my curves. I loved when he talked to me like that, reminding me on a daily basis that I was it for him. I closed my eyes and tipped my head back slightly to relish his touch, as his warm fingertips memorized my body. His soft lips joined the fun his fingers were having in exploring my skin. He began right below my ear and licked and sucked and nibbled down my neck, across my shoulders and over the swell of my breasts. He unclasped my bra and it drifted to the floor. He caressed my breasts before taking one into his mouth. The feeling was exquisite, and my head fell back further. I sort of wished I was flat on my back and not still standing in my three-inch heels for this sexy seduction. I kept quiet though because the last thing I wanted was for him to stop. The ache deep in my core was deliciously intense. I throbbed from head to toe and every spot in between. His labored breath bathed my nipple, and I gasped when his teeth finally tugged the hard pearl into his mouth.

“Oh god, that feels so good.” Did I think that? Did I whisper it? Hell, I could have just wailed it; I was so lost in the feeling I had no idea. None. That’s what this man did to me. I savored every single second.

He continued his silent assault on my other breast before nibbling downward over my ribs and belly. My knees trembled when he dragged my thong down my thighs with his teeth. I steadied myself, gripping his shoulders, and he smiled against my inner thigh. He knew I wasn’t going to last much longer standing. I loved how he read me so well.

I blinked and I was lying on my bed. One swoop, two strides, and I was naked and being devoured by two insatiable grey eyes.

“You are so fucking beautiful. You’re my light, baby.”

He slowly unbuttoned his shirt. Every muscle below my navel spasmed at the sight of his chiseled, bare chest. I had no idea how many muscles there even were down there, but every last fiber was contracting, aching to be filled and stretched. I writhed against the soft sheets, searching for any friction to lessen the ache. I needed release.

Chase dropped his shirt and climbed up my body until we were chest to chest. He kissed my mouth so tenderly, passionately—desperately. I loved how freely he unleashed his emotions on me. We had come so far.

He spoke against my lips. “When all I saw was darkness, when I thought there was nothing left but pitch black, your shining blue eyes rescued me from that hell. I don’t deserve you, baby, not for one fucking second, but the fact that you want me for who I am, the fact that you love me, makes me actually believe that one day I might forgive myself.”

I inhaled a sharp breath as my eyes filled with tears. He ran his hand along my forehead, pushing any loose strands of hair from my face. The love that seeped from his eyes overwhelmed me. My heart heaved against my chest with the magnitude of his words. I never in a million years imagined loving someone this much.

“These tears, Chase, they’re good ones. I promise,” I croaked.

“I know I say it a lot. But you need to know I fucking love you more than life itself. I would return to that hell for you.” His breaths were loud and labored, matching mine.

I knew he would, god, I knew he would.

“Make love to me, Chase. I want you inside me. I want to get so lost in you, please.”

Before my next breath, his jeans vanished and he was pushing inside me, filling me with his limitless love … relieving the pulsing ache.

“Baby, I want you on top. I want to watch you breathe, watch your eyes change color. I want to see what I do to you.” In a single fluid motion I was on top. I straddled his hips and sat up. He immediately cradled my breasts as I continued pushing his length deeper and deeper. I slowed our pace and kept his hard length deep inside me. I felt him pushing up my womb. The intense pressure bordered on painful, but this was the pain I craved. We were one. I never wanted it to end.

“All I see when I look at you, Blue, is the future, our future. I can finally see past tomorrow. Fuck, you let me see past the next goddamn thirty seconds. You told me on the beach that day that I woke you up, but truth, baby —you woke me up. Fifteen fucking years I slept through life. Now I’m fucking living it, wide awake.”

“Oh god, Chase, I lo-love y-you so much,” I cried.

Then I bent over and pressed my lips to his. He gripped my hips, struggling for control and started to move us again, ever so slowly, in and out, deeper and harder. I was making him crazy. Hell, I was making myself crazy.

“Fuck. You feel so good. You close, baby?”

“Oh yes, so close.”

“Let it go, I want to come together.” He released my hips and gave me control. Every nerve tingled, every muscle contracted. Spasmed. Clenched. Pulsed.

“That’s it baby, give me everything.”

I buried him as deep as I could bear and his warm release filled me. He gave me everything.

I collapsed against his chest. The sound of our rapid heartbeats and breathing played like a song. Our song. When it finally quieted, I broke our connection and lifted up. My fingertips found the pale pink line still left on his forehead. It was the reminder that just a few weeks ago we were broken and struggling, but we didn’t give up.

I leaned over and kissed it. Kissed him. “Promise me something, no more...” I brought his hands to my lips and kissed each knuckle. “No more fists, Chase ... those demons don’t have to be fought anymore. Let’s keep them asleep ... we’ll stay awake ... together.”

He looked like he wanted to say something, but I wasn’t finished. I covered his lips with a finger. His eyes turned glassy. Slowly I worked my way down his body, my lips trailed along his tattoo. First do no harm. I finally understood its true significance. “This,” I traced each character, “is not your reminder ... this is truth. This is you.”

Chase needed to realize he never harmed anyone, not his sister, not his unborn child. He could never harm anyone. The emotion in the room was thick and in that moment there was nothing left to say. So I wrapped my body around him, and we held each other until the morning sun streamed through my windows.

Over the next week we didn’t really talk about that night again. We didn’t need to. We were both beautifully awake and blissfully living.

“I’ll send Pete to pick up your parents.”

“I’m gonna go with him. I want to be there when they get off the plane. I already took a half day. It’s Friday,