Cipher

group. I like hanging out with you, but you and them…? I don’t think I’ll like it.”

All the times she’d made fun of others came back to her, unwelcome memories she’d rather erase. Jabs against fashion. Dancing. Social skills—she’d pretty much covered all the topics. She’d thought of it as light-hearted fun. But she couldn’t deny the fact that most of the people she’d mocked were kind-hearted guys and girls who would be crushed by her comments. Memories stacked one by one on her shoulders, weighing her down.

“You’re right. There’ve been times when I was downright bitchy, no good excuse for it. I can’t change the past. But I swear, I’m trying to be better. I have to go to this party, and Cody will be there. I don’t want to face him alone.”

“Then take Troy.”

“That’s not a good idea with Cody there. They don’t like each other, and the last thing I need is a fight to break out.” The bag in Summer’s hand crinkled as she clasped her hands in prayer position. “Please, Ash. I really want you to go with me. I need you to remind me of that stuff we talked about in the car before your soda peed all over you.”

Not even a smile. Tough crowd. Without a word, Ashlyn looped around the table and sat in her normal place. Unsure what else to do, Summer sat in hers. When Ashlyn looked across the table, Summer put on her best puppy dog face, sticking her bottom lip out as far as she could.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh. “Fine, I’ll go. Don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t. I promise.” Summer got out her lunch: A peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a mini bag of Doritos, and a sandwich bag filled with Oreos.

Ashlyn shook her head. “I seriously can’t believe all you eat is junk food. It’s so unfair.”

“It’s not junk food. There’s…fruit in the jam. Yeah, that makes it healthy.”

Troy plopped down next to Summer, straddling the bench and facing her instead of the table. “Meant to tell you earlier, but you look very rocker today.”

Summer tucked a frizzy curl behind her ear. “This is what happens when I don’t do my hair.”

One corner of Troy’s mouth twisted up. “I like it.” He glanced at Ashlyn. “I hear you got Sunshine out in the water this morning. Is she any good?”

“Not yet,” Ashlyn said. “But she will be once I’m through with her.”

Troy stole one of Summer’s Oreos and stood. “See you guys around.” With that, he was off. His visits were always so sporadic. A quick hi. A cookie snatching. A compliment about her wild hair—warmth filled her chest as she thought about that last one. She definitely preferred rocker to a huge mess.

But why’s he in such a hurry to be somewhere else, lately?

She twisted and watched him weave his way through the cafeteria. People stopped to talk or wave, no matter what group they were in. Skaters, gamers, stoners—there was some overlap there—the drama club, the people who were somewhere in between jocks and geeks, girls, guys. Basically Troy knew everyone, and everyone knew him.

Darren scooted next to Ashlyn, drawing Summer’s attention. It took almost an entire week, but Summer finally saw the small differences between him and Aaron. “Hey, I’ve got a joke for you guys.”

Summer propped her elbows on the table. “It’s been a while since I heard a good joke.”

Darren readjusted his round glasses. “How many computer support staffers does it take to change a light bulb?” He raised his eyebrows and looked at them, apparently waiting for an answer.

“No clue,” Ashlyn said.

He didn’t say anything, simply sat there like someone had hit his pause button.

Ashlyn nudged him. “Tell us.”

“Four. One to ask what the registration number of the bulb is, one to ask if you’ve tried to reboot, another to ask if you’ve tried reinstalling, and the last to say it must be your hardware, because our light bulb here is working fine.” He broke into laughter and smacked the table with his open palm.

Summer laughed more at his reaction to the joke than the actual punch line.

“So what did you think?” he asked.

“You know how I said it’s been a while since I’ve heard a good joke?” Summer was going to say, It still has, but he looked so proud and sincere, and she didn’t know if he’d get her sarcasm. “I guess I’ll have to restart my countdown.”

Darren made a fist and yanked it down. “Score!”

Aaron scooted down. “Okay, if you think that one is good, wait until you hear mine…”

Summer listened to another computer joke that she didn’t even come close to getting, but she laughed anyway. Although she didn’t have much in common with anyone in this group besides Ashlyn, she felt more relaxed here. No one mentioned her hair needed serum or whose parents were getting divorced. They didn’t imply Dad was dating someone too young for him. Regardless of the fact most of them got teased on a regular basis, they seemed so confident in who they were. She admired that about them.

It wasn’t like she could divulge her biggest secret—that she sometimes saw deaths before they happened. Or that she and the Angel of Death were on a first name basis. Still, here existed a security she didn’t feel with her other friends. An acceptance that didn’t rely on whom you were dating, what you wore, or if you were any good at sports.

Aaron looked across the table and flashed his crooked grin at her. “We’re glad you come hang out with us sometimes.”

“I have a good time over here,” Summer said. “Where else can you get lunch and computer jokes?”

Aaron’s eyebrows lowered. “Do you want the statistics, or is that one of those rhetorical questions I keep getting in trouble for answering?”

“It was rhetorical, but it’s good to know I can come to you if I’m looking for stats.”

That prompted him to pull out his calculator and show her a program he had in it to help calculate statistics. When Summer’s gaze drifted up, she saw some of the girls from the dance team pointing at them. Summer waved, but the girls walked away without waving back, or even acknowledging her presence.

Maybe they didn’t see me. Come to think of it, though, she was getting a lot of icy looks from the squad. She supposed she should stick around after practice and try to make nice before she lost half her friends.

This whole balance thing was trickier than she’d expected. Add one more item to her Things-I’m-failing-at list.

* * *

Summer dragged herself upstairs to her bedroom, every step taking way more effort than it should. During practice, several of the girls had made catty comments to her, and because of her early morning surf session, she hadn’t had the desire or energy to hang out afterwards to try to repair things. If they wanted to be rude, that was their problem.

Gabriella sat on the foot of the bed, drumming her fingers on her thighs. If Summer had enough energy to run in the other direction, she would’ve. The Angel of Death straightened, her eyes brightening, so it was too late anyway. “Hello, Summer Dear! How are things coming along with Ashlyn and her mom?”

Geez, is the woman never not cheery? Summer swung her door closed and tossed her bag on the floor. “I’m starting to think that Ashlyn’s mom deserves to feel guilty. Ashlyn will be happy, then Pamela puts her down, and her self-esteem plummets.”

“Well, that’s exactly why you’re supposed to be helping them repair their relationship, and you need to do it soon. Before it’s too late.”

The reason Summer had gotten to know Ashlyn was because Gabriella told her to. Because Ashlyn was dying. An ache radiated over her heart, and she pressed her hand to her chest. Over the past few days she’d found out just how awesome Ashlyn was. She hadn’t wanted her to die before, but now… The ache sharpened, digging in its claws. “Can’t I do something to keep her from dying?”

Gabriella let out a long-suffering sigh. “This is your problem. You don’t realize the importance of your job.”

Summer ran a hand through her hair and flopped down on the bed next to Gabriella. “But I still have some time, right?”

“She’s got a little while yet, but that doesn’t mean you can waste it doing nothing.”