Cipher

something,” she blurted at him, half-angry, half-desperate.

His brow furrowed. “You bumped into me.”

She flung her arms up. “I’m not talking about here on the sidewalk! I’m talking about before you drive anywhere.”

Looking at her like she was she was a lunatic, he shook his head. “What’s wrong with you?”

Summer jabbed a finger into his chest. “I’m serious. This isn’t a joke. You could endanger other people. You could kill somebody.” Then her job came to mind. “And have you made peace with your family? You don’t want to leave them wondering if you care about them.”

Troy grabbed her hand and tugged her away. The man stared after her, mouth hanging open. She tried to yank out of Troy’s grasp, but his fingers tightened, and she had no choice but to force her feet to follow. After a couple of large strides, he spun around, his green eyes searching her face. “What was that all about?”

The ground spun under her, and her knees felt like they might buckle. Black spots danced across her vision, and then came the icy, black feeling that started in the pit of her stomach and rose up to settle in her chest. She gripped Troy’s arms, holding onto him so she wouldn’t fall, and tried to blink the world back into focus.

When it did, Troy was still staring at her, apparently waiting for an answer.

“He…He looked tired,” Summer said. “Did you know falling asleep at the wheel is one of the leading causes of death?” When she started seeing people dying, morbid curiosity drove her to research those kinds of things.

“The poor guy was just walking down the sidewalk, and you went off on him. He didn’t even look that tired.”

Glancing over her shoulder, she saw the man walking in the opposite direction, and she was pretty sure he was muttering something to himself. Summer turned back to Troy. He was still staring at her, concern swimming in his green eyes.

How in the world am I going to explain this? The answer was simple. She wasn’t. Because he’d never believe the real explanation.

She slowly released the death-grip she had on Troy and took a deep breath. “Well, I’m tired. Let’s go get something to eat.” She hoped food would help settle her stomach. It suddenly felt like she hadn’t eaten all day. Like she might even pass out if she didn’t get something soon.

She started toward the restaurant, wishing the food was in her hands already. But Troy’s hand wrapped around her elbow, holding her in place. “I can tell something’s up, you know. Sometimes you seem really happy, then sometimes really low.”

If she turned back to look at him, she was going to burst into tears. So she kept her eyes glued to the streetlight flashing for pedestrians to go and said, “Congratulations, you’ve just described every girl on the planet. If you can’t handle my mood swings, I guess you’ll have to go hang out with your guy friends.” She yanked her arm away. “But for now, your moody friend would like some fries.”

This time Troy didn’t stop her; he simply followed.

They ordered their food, not bothering with small talk while they waited. Finally, the food came, and even though her stomach was still rolling, she was also starving. But no matter how much Summer ate, she still felt empty. The nightmares would come tonight. They always did after a brush with someone else’s death.

Troy pushed his now-empty plate aside and leaned forward, his eyes locked on hers, his jaw set in determination. “I know that Kendall claims to be your oldest friend here, but she’s wrong. I met you first, and let’s face it, I’m better with the deeper stuff.” He threw out a smile, but it was a tight, cautious smile. “So. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

Summer had to glance away, because it seemed like those eyes could see straight through her. It was the same intense stare that had caused her to open up to him about Mom all those months ago. Last June, while everyone else had been celebrating the end of school at a giant party, she and Troy had an intense conversation about their parents. She’d gone on and on about Mom—though she hadn’t told him quite everything—and he’d opened up about his dad, who’d left him and his mom several years ago.

“I’m tired and stressed is all. I’m fine. Really,” she said, because there was nothing else she could say. Under the starlit sky that night all those months ago with Troy, she’d almost felt whole again. But then she hadn’t seen him all summer, and now…Well, telling him she was seeing the Angel of Death and that she sometimes saw people’s lives ending? That would only land her in a mental institution.

* * *

Still feeling crappy from her encounter with the guy in North Park and having to lie to Troy, who didn’t say a word the entire way home, Summer rushed up the stairs to her room. She needed to flop on her bed and turn up her music, loud enough it’d drown out thoughts of people dying.

So of course Gabriella was standing in the middle of her bedroom, hair slightly disheveled, pink skirt looking extra puffy today. So much for avoiding death.

In theory, Dad couldn’t see her. Summer decided to shut the door anyway.

Gabriella stuck her fists on her hips and scowled at Summer. “You shouldn’t have said anything.”

Summer ran over her day in her head, trying to figure out what Gabriella was talking about. “I didn’t say anything. Not to my dad. Or to Troy.”

“I mean Larry. The man you yelled at on the sidewalk. He got all freaked out, went overboard on the caffeine, and almost hit another person when his car wrecked. Other people could’ve been killed because of your interference.”

What little energy she had, leaked out of her, and she sagged against her wall. “So he’s dead?”

“No thanks to you,” Gabriella huffed. “Do you realize how bad things could get if you mess with fate?”

A sharp pain jabbed Summer between the ribs. She knew how bad they could get if you didn’t. She pushed off the wall, a tornado of frustration and sorrow churning inside her. “If I’m doing such a crap job then fire me.”

Gabriella pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “You were trying to do a Guardian Angel’s job. Not your job.

“Well maybe I’d rather be a Guardian Angel, then.”

“Sorry, dear. You have to have died already to fulfill that position. Are you ready to leave all this behind?” Gabriella gestured around her and then crossed her arms firmly across her chest. “So, you have something not ideal going on in your life. What about all the things you do have? A nice home. Friends. Your dad.”

“I don’t have my mom.” It burst out of her, along with a couple of tears. “I need my mom.”

Gabriella’s stern posture loosened. She reached out and gently wiped a tear from Summer’s cheek. “Yes, I do feel for you there. I’m sorry that’s been so hard on you, but some people don’t have any family. Or they do, and their families don’t treat them well. Some people go hungry. Some people have a debilitating disease.” Her hand moved to Summer’s shoulder, and she flashed her a consoling smile. “We all have our lots in life, and this is yours. If you’d try a little bit, you’d see that you’re good at it.”

“But what if that Larry guy needed some resolution? I thought that was what I was supposed to do. That is in my job description, according to you.”

“If he needed one, we’d already have a Cipher on it, long before you saw him die. Most people don’t need Ciphers. We only send you gals in when we know the circumstances call for a little extra help.”

“Maybe I’m not supposed to be a Cipher. I think you guys got it wrong this time. For one, I’m not even sure if I believe in all that stuff anymore. I’ve doubted that everything happens for a reason for a while now.”

“For one year and two months. I know.” Gabriella’s voice softened. “I believe in you, and right now, I need you to believe—to know—that you are the right person to help Ashlyn.”

Summer stepped back far enough for Gabriella’s hand to drop from her shoulder. “You know, I’m getting a little sick of just hoping that you know what you’re doing. You’re wrong. I’m not supposed to do this.”

Gabriella’s lower lip quivered, tears filled her eyes, and when she spoke, her voice shook. “I didn’t get it wrong. You simply need to try harder. I wish I had the experience to tell you how to do that.” She sniffed. “I don’t know what to do with you.”