Cipher

She filled two cups with ice, grabbed a couple of plates and the package of Oreos, and headed back into the living room.

Troy set the pizza on the coffee table, and they filled their cups and plates. By the time they finished eating, Summer felt like she might just survive tonight after all. She’d have to worry about all the days following later.

Troy polished off the last of the soda. He sat back and pinned her with an ominous eyebrow raise. “Okay, so tell me about today.”

Looking at him, she thought that telling him how she felt first was a mistake. This was going to be hard, and she couldn’t help worrying about his reaction. They might never kiss again. “Are you sure you want to know? You’re going to think I’m crazy.”

Troy reached out and took her hand. “I want to know what’s going on. How did you know what was going to happen before it did?”

“You know how I told you I had a bad feeling about my mom leaving that day?” Summer asked. “The day she was killed?”

“Yeah, I remember you saying that.”

“When I hugged her that morning, I didn’t just feel something bad was going to happen…” She hesitated for a second, not sure how much she should divulge. But then Troy gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and she just blurted out the rest. “I saw her get shot. I saw her die. I tried to convince her not to go, but she went anyway. I thought maybe it was my imagination, but… Well she… I saw her death before it happened, Troy.”

“You’re saying that you’re psychic?”

“Not really. It’s hard to explain.” Summer took a deep breath. “I guess I’ll start at the beginning…” She told him about the man on the sidewalk, how it was like watching a few minutes of a movie in fast-forward. “For years I thought it was just my imagination running wild. I didn’t know it was coming true. Not for sure. Until my mom.” The pressure in her lungs grew until she was sure they’d burst. “After that day I was sure.”

Troy didn’t say anything, just continued to stare.

I knew this was a bad idea. I freaked him out. “I understand this changes things,” Summer said, wanting him to know it was okay if it was too much for him, even though she didn’t think she’d be okay if he left her.

“It doesn’t change the way I feel about you.” He brushed his thumb over her knuckles. “That must’ve been really hard. Seeing your mom…”

The burning started in her eyes again, and she clenched her jaw to try to kill the tears. “I wish I could’ve stopped her. I tried, but it didn’t matter. Like with the guy I yelled at after we left the record store. I saw him falling asleep at the wheel. That’s why I told him to wake up. To drink something.”

“Maybe he took your advice,” Troy said. “Maybe he didn’t die.”

“No. He died.” Summer remembered how mad Gabriella had been. “In fact, my advice almost killed other people.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do,” she said softly, without the anger she’d put behind it earlier today. “I guess I’m drawn to them, because it’s happening more and more. It happened again on the beach, the guy I ran into after we were surfing. That mean older guy…” The memory made her shudder. Especially when she remembered the nightmares she’d had afterward. “He broke into an old lady’s house, and she shot him when he tried to pull a gun on her. I didn’t try to stop him. Not only because he was armed at the beach, but because I thought the world would be better off. I guess that makes me a bad person.”

Troy squeezed her hand, his silver ring cool compared to the warmth of his skin. “You’re not a bad person. And it sounds like you couldn’t have done anything anyway.” He glanced down, the muscles in his jaw working. When he spoke, his voice was heavy with emotion. “How long did you know about Ashlyn?”

She breathed through the throb of pain brought by hearing Ashlyn’s name, the fact that Troy was so affected making it even harder to control her own emotions. Here was where things got tricky. It was one thing to share this so-called psychic ability; it was another to admit the Angel of Death was a frequent visitor. “I didn’t see Ashlyn’s death until today. When I hugged her, I saw her dying in the ambulance. I thought maybe if I could keep her out of it…” Her voice cracked and she couldn’t continue.

“She wouldn’t die,” Troy said.

She nodded.

He scrubbed his free hand across his face. “Wow, this is crazy.”

“I’m a little sensitive about the word ‘crazy’ right now.”

Troy pulled her into a hug. “Now I understand why your life has been so up and down. Your secret makes my secret band seem like a joke.”

“Does that mean you…believe me?”

Troy sat back, his eyes locking onto hers. “I believe you.”

“This is your chance to change your mind. If you don’t think you can handle all my baggage, I understand. We can go back to being friends.”

Troy rested his forehead against hers. “It would take a lot more to get rid of me.”

“Good, because I’ve been having a hard time just being friends.” Summer kissed him again, keeping it light because it was all she could handle right now. They settled into the couch, cuddling while watching television. Her head hurt from the hours of crying, and the ache in her chest was still there, but leaning against Troy, she felt safe. She even felt like someday she might be able to laugh again. “I don’t think I could’ve made it through today without you,” she whispered.

Troy curled her closer and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes, inhaling his familiar beachy and citrus scent. She basked in having his arms around her and listening to his heartbeat, wishing that she could stay like this forever.

Wishing that she didn’t have to deal with what would happen after he left.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Summer woke up and stared at her ceiling. I didn’t have any nightmares. She’d had calm, peaceful dreams. Sorrow still hung heavy in her heart, but the awful feeling she’d had in her gut for weeks was gone.

Her phone rang, and she reached over and grabbed it off her nightstand.

Kendall’s name flashed across the display. “Now that’s a name I haven’t seen in a while.” Summer answered and held it up to her ear. “Hello?”

“Hi, Summer.” Kendall was quiet for a moment. “I wanted to say that things might’ve gotten out of hand. When you chose someone over me, it hurt, and I decided to hurt you back. I never would wish this on you, though. I’m really sorry about your friend Ashley. I’m sorry about everything.”

Now didn’t seem like the time to correct Kendall on the name thing. “Thanks, that means a lot. And it wasn’t just you. I said some awful things, too, and I’m sorry. I wish it hadn’t gotten so ugly.”

“If you need to talk, you can give me a call. And I was also thinking that if you cried in front of Mr. Strider he’d let you practice a week early.”

Summer shook her head. She wouldn’t be Kendall if she didn’t throw one of her desires into the mix. “Thanks for the call, Kendall.” She said goodbye and tossed her phone back on her nightstand.

She contemplated lying in bed all day, but she knew from experience that didn’t make it better—it just left you too much time to think and re-hash everything. And cry and get more and more depressed. So even though it seemed impossible, you had to get up and go through the motions of living life. Days would pass, and, gradually, it would get a little easier. Then weeks. Months. Until one day you’d find you weren’t just going through the motions, but actually living again. Memories would still cause a dull ache, but occasionally they’d bring happiness, too.

All she had to do was take that first step.

A shower seemed like a good place to start.

When she came back from taking a shower, her phone had a new text from Cody. First Kendall,