Crashing Back Down

go grab some grub.” I looked down at his lounge pants and ratty T-shirt; I hadn’t even noticed them before.

“Oh, okay.” I relaxed my shoulders and leaned into him, squeezing his overly toned middle tightly to me, being able to feel each ripple through his think shirt. Looking up at him, I asked, “When do I get my roommate back?”

He kissed my forehead. “I’ll move back in tonight if you want.”

I nodded yes into his chest; feeling like a gigantic weight had been lifted.

After Walker had changed, packed up most of his stuff and got back to the house, my stomach was practically eating itself. I hadn’t eaten for almost twenty-four hours, and the pains were starting to get unbearable. Walker laced our fingers together and led me to his truck that he’d left running in the driveway. I let him walk a little in front of me, so I could take in an amazing sight of him in my favorite of his jeans, a loose-fitting dark gray cotton shirt, and snake-skin cowboy boots.

He opened the door for me, but stopped me right before I got into the seat, pulling me in and lifting my chin with his hand to make our eyes meet. His cheeks flushed with a hint of crimson as he bent down to kiss me softly. Right before our lips met, he drawled, “You’re amazing.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck without allowing our lips to part. He hugged me into him and lifted me into the passenger’s seat. Shifting the truck into gear, we started driving in the direction of Charlie’s. A sly grin spread on Walker’s sexy lips and he held one hand on the wheel and the other in mine, rubbing his thumb on my palm.

I looked over, taking in the amazing sight of Walker’s happiness. “So, Charlie’s, huh?”

He nodded very matter-of-factly. “Yup, thought it’d be the perfect place. It’s kinda like a cure-all for hunger, hangovers, reunions, fights, what have you.”

Pulling into the familiar parking lot lifted my spirits even more, especially seeing Todd’s rusty old Cadillac in its usual spot. We climbed up into our usual seats, smiling and greeting our long time bartender warmly. Orange- honey drafts were resting on coasters, burgers were ordered and everything felt right with the world again.

Walker and I chatted with Todd, keeping a respectful distance from one other. Even though we had found a good place balance in our relationship, we had not defined boundaries and both of us were scared to send the other one run again.

It wasn’t until Walker excused himself to use the restroom that Todd laid into me. With a questioning smirk coupled with a suggestive eyebrow raise, Todd blurted out what had been on his mind since we sat down together. “So? How was it?”

Innocently, I shrugged. “How was what?” Taking a swig of my beer at that moment was a bad idea, because I nearly choked when I heard Todd sassily say in a hushed voice, “How was doing Mr. Hunky-Pants- Country-Boy-Roommate?” He gaped at me, placing his hand dramatically on his popped out hip. “Come on, it’s all over your faces! You did the dirty, now I want the dirt, Missy!”

Beat red, I opened my mouth and stared at him. “How’d you know?”

“Honey, I know you and him, and the ‘I did something dirty’ looks both of you have had over the years. Roll them all up and you get this moment right here, which I figured was going to happen sooner or later.”

Walker’s return saved me from the mortifying conversation. I hadn’t even told Cali the story yet, I wasn’t ready to volunteer it to one of the largest town gossips. We finished our meal and had a few more beers, Todd suggestively smirking at me every chance he got until we left the bar.

Walker held my hand from the time we got into the truck, all the way into the house and cuddled with me on the couch. We nestled down tight under my blanket just enjoying one another’s company, silently embracing our comfort and friendship again. Even though our lives were slowly spiraling out of control all around us, right there, in Walker’s arms everything finally made sense.

16

I was so thrilled that we were finally going to be tailgating again, as I pulled myself out of bed excitedly to my school’s fight song blaring at me instead of my normal beeping alarm tone. The group Walker was able to round up was almost our entire old gang. The plan was for all of us to meet up at the fraternity house, and then walk over to the usual tailgating spot.

I woke up at the crack of dawn to get everything ready. For a one o’clock game, we could start our extravaganza at 9:00 a.m. on campus. So, the plan was to make sure everyone was beer-in-hand at the fraternity house before the clock struck eight. The anticipation coursed through my veins as I pulled my chest cooler out of the garage and into the kitchen. The night before I had stocked up on tons of beer, limes, burger meat, and all the rest of the fixings, and started to load all of it into the cooler. I was an old pro at tailgating, being from a student body that partied harder than our team played, and I was ready to let loose again with all of my old friends.

I could hear Walker’s feet shuffling across my bedroom floor, then him starting the shower. I was shocked he was up this early, feeling bad for probably waking him. I poured a few bags of ice over the cooler’s contents and slammed the lid shut.

Still in my pajamas, I made my way up the stairs as the pipes stopped whining, indicating the end of Walker’s shower. I was humming our fight song, happily looking for my favorite college shirt that had never missed a game day yet, when damp arms wrapped around my shoulders. Grinning, I turned around to face Walker, who was only wearing a towel. Looking up into his beautiful eyes only made my excitement even more evident, but with a twinge of nerves surging up. “How do you think everyone will react to us?”

He looked down at me with a frown. “Do you want to keep it a secret?”

I could see this was something that had not even occurred to Walker, and I didn’t want to be selfish, but all of these people were Randy’s friends, too. “Walker, I don’t know. I don’t want to be the next Frat scandal.” I let my head fall into his chest, kissing his tattooed pecs softly. Man, his skin smells so good.

“Look,” Walker’s hand under my chin gave me no option but to look at him. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. You’re so excited. We’re friends, let’s just be that for the day. No kissing, no hand holding, just Walker and Mags as usual.”

I sighed with relief and snuggled up to him. “Thanks Walker.” I kissed him deeply and then got dressed in my game day best: boat shoes, white jean shorts, and my lucky shirt. I sat on the floor and applied a simple layer of makeup while my flat iron heated up.

I turned around when I heard my door squeal a little, to see Walker with a shit-eating grin on his face, standing with his arms crossed in my doorway. “Why don’t you do that in the bathroom like normal people, Mags?”

I sighed and then smirked “You know it’s been a habit since you guys lived in the frat house. Besides, this is more comfortable.”

Walker strode over to the bed in his khaki cargo shorts and black cut off that said ‘Bust the U’ in gold letters, and took a seat. I tamed my frizzy mess while Walker strolled me down memory lane of hilarious drunken game days past. I was snapped back to reality when five text messages came to my phone all at once, all along the lines of it being beer-thirty.

 Standing in front of the fraternity house, digging for a beer in my cooler, made my entire body shake with anticipation of a wonderful day with old friends. Once I started getting messages while pampering myself, Walker hopped into action and got us straight to our fun-filled day of boozing as fast as possible. We kept a casual distance in the crowd of our former classmates. Everything seemed to be back to normal in my old world, and the comfort of friends and smiling faces warmed up my icy guilt. I was surprised about how casually people would talk about Randy, or throw out funny stories about him. I was so used to people treating me with kid-gloves that the calmness and normalcy almost felt thick in the hot fall Florida heat.

The house had not changed since the first time I stepped foot in it my first week on campus. The walls were beer stained white, with years and years of fraternity member portrait collages hanging, dating back to when their fraternity first debuted on campus. The smell of locker room, cologne and booze wafted into my memory bank and brought a smile to my face. This was the first place I met the greatest guy friends I ever had. All of those years