The Lair

The excruciating pain in my arm is swept away in a wash of anger. A second ago, I thought I couldn’t even control my hand, but now I twist it around and grab hold of his arm. I get my legs under me, arch up, and yank him forward over my head. With strength I didn’t know I had, I fling his body to the ground, bounce up onto the balls of my feet, and launch myself legs first at his chest. He’s up before I hit him. He grabs my feet, I twist in mid-air to plant my good palm on the ground and kick out of his grasp. I backflip away from him. By the time I’m standing upright again, I’m panting from the exertion. I give my shoulder a roll and it pops back into place, the too-stretched tendons springing like rubber bands. The pain is still there, but I can breathe through it and my cold fury has melted away.

I spin back to face him, bracing for an attack. But Sebastian doesn’t so much as twitch in my direction. He’s standing maybe six, seven feet away. He’s smiling. Damn it. Smiling.

Not that irritating smirk he usually wears, but an actual smile. Like he’s pleased. My breath comes in foggy bursts in the chilly night and adrenaline dances along my nerves. I’ve never felt so alive. Even when I was alive.

Despite all that, part of me is horrified. I used to have meltdowns in the Before, often when I was young, when the world was so at odds with my ability to process it. Biting, kicking, screaming meltdowns. But I never hurt anyone on purpose.

I wouldn’t even know how to fight someone. And yet I did. I might as well be in a whole new body. Maybe this shouldn’t surprise me. This bright, shiny new me needs getting used to.

I’m shaking and shaken and Sebastian is smiling.

He nods. “Good girl. That’s better, isn’t it? Better than moping about.”

I suck air into my lungs and blow it out in a foggy puff. “I’m not a girl.”

He smiles wider. “No. You’re not. You’re a vampire.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Lily

“I’m coming with you,” Lily said as soon as she made it back to the RV. No point in beating around the bush.

McKenna stopped still, staring at her in shock. “What do you mean, you’ll come with me?”

“I’m not going to let you go by yourself.” She moved to the tiny closet and pulled out her own backpack. The one she’d brought with her from the Farm.

“You and Carter need to be here. With the rebellion. I can’t ask you guys to leave.”

“You’re not asking. And he’s not coming,” Lily said quietly. “I think . . . I think it’s time for me to go.”

“You’re going to leave Carter?” McKenna asked doubtfully.

“I . . . yeah. I am.” She paused, shaking her head. “Yesterday, if he hadn’t stayed in Elderton with me, he would have been here. He could have protected those Greens.” It was only one of the reasons. The only reason she would share with McKenna. McKenna didn’t need to know about the whole head-chopping thing. That was an image no one needed in her brain.

“He’s going to let you go?”

“It’s not his choice. Besides”—she kept her voice impersonal, logical—“It’s best for me to go. He sees that. Hell, he’ll probably be relieved. If I’m here much longer, the Elites will start to question whether or not I’m really an abductura.”

“They won’t—”

“They’re not idiots. They’ll figure it out. My presence here is supposed to inspire a renewed sense of hope, right? A sense of calm and focus. That’s the role of an abductura. To unite people, right? To inspire them to fight.”

McKenna frowned as if worried she was being drawn into a verbal trap. Finally she nodded. “Yes, I guess. But you’re not—”

“Exactly. I’m not an abductura. I can’t do any of that. And the thing is, once the Elites realize that, they’re going to question Carter. I can’t let that happen.”

“I still say he’s not going to let you go. That boy loves you.”

Lily wanted to protest. Love her or not, it didn’t make it any easier to say good-bye.

“It’s a done deal. He already agreed. Ely is going to take us. Have you met him?”

She babbled on about Ely while she packed. McKenna didn’t interrupt again. McKenna’s gut instinct to protect her baby would win out. By the time Lily had packed the last of her stuff, McKenna seemed convinced. Lily only wished convincing herself was that easy.

Once her bag was packed, she headed up to the food storage rooms to stock up on nonperishables. Carter was standing outside the RV when she stepped out.

She couldn’t make herself look at him. The flickering fluorescents cast harsh light over his face, making him look like he’d aged about five years in the past couple of days. Or maybe having people die under your command just did that to someone.

Knowing how hard what happened yesterday had hit him, she almost felt bad about leaving. But it had been his idea.

“Hey,” she said.

McKenna came out right after her, stopping short on the steps. Then she edged past Lily down the steps. “Why don’t I go find those snacks and stuff. I’ll just . . .” She didn’t finish the sentence but trotted off toward food storage.

“Hey.” Carter nodded back.

Lily opened the door and stepped back into the RV, holding the door open behind her so he would follow her in. When he stepped inside and shut the door behind him, she admitted, “I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

“You didn’t think I’d come to say good-bye?” Carter was nearly a foot taller than she was and when he stood up straight in the RV, the top of his head brushed the ceiling. So in here, he always stood with his head ducked a little. It made him look bashful, maybe a little shy. It was charming, even if it was an illusion.

In this tiny space, he was awkward and off balance. Give him more room and he could kick anyone’s ass. That was Carter all over: tough as hell until you got him up close.

“Is that what you’re doing?” she asked. “Saying good-bye?”

He leaned his hips against the countertop, stretching his legs out in front of him. The stance bought him a little more head room and he was able to meet her gaze as he said, “I want you to be safe. When you’re traveling.”

That wasn’t what she wanted to hear. Not at all. Her arm hurt like hell. She was tired and hungry. She felt miserable. Inexplicably, she wanted to curl up on the bed in back and just cry. She wanted someone to stroke her hair and tell her it was going to be all right. That was fair, right? To want that.

She distracted herself by sorting through the belongings she and McKenna didn’t have room to bring. Everything they owned had been scavenged from somewhere else, and it would go back to the storage rooms. It would be sorted through and “owned” by other people after them. Somehow, packing up this stuff that hadn’t really been hers brought her some peace. It gave her something to do while her heart was breaking.

She knew why he was doing this. At least, she could make a pretty good guess. It was all tied back to the conversation in the truck. To not wanting to be with her anymore.

Forget that he was doing it for the good of all mankind. Forget that this was best for humanity and for the rebellion and so that someday they could all live free again. Forget all that.

All that didn’t make it any better. It just made it harder to hate him for this. No, it made it impossible to hate him. He was such a good guy. He was the best.

And it killed her that she wasn’t good for him. He would never say it like that, but that’s what it came down to, right? She wasn’t good for him.

Carter watched her for a few minutes before saying, “So we’re not even going to talk about it?”

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”