“Damn it, would you stop packing long enough to at least have a conversation with me?”
For a second, her hands clenched around a bath towel then she forced herself to let it go. She dropped it into a box and turned to face him, even if she couldn’t make herself meet his gaze.
“About the conversation we had in the truck, listen, I . . .”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said automatically.
“Lily, I didn’t want—”
“I know.” She waved a hand, cutting him off. “McKenna needs me.”
“Damn it, Lily—” Carter broke off and paced away and then back again. His expression was hard and wounded all at the same time. “This is killing me. Do you know what it feels like, knowing you’re going off with some other guy? Some guy who can protect you and who’s willing to walk away from all of this.”
She nearly laughed at that. “This was your idea and besides, you know it’s not like that. Ely’s a total ass.”
Carter’s lips curved and he looked a little relieved. “You think so?”
“Yeah.” And then she did chuckle. “He’s arrogant and annoying. I barely met him and I can already tell you that. I’m not going to fall for him. Certainly not in five days.”
Carter reached out and grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle tug so that she stepped into the space between his legs. “You promise?”
“Yes.”
“And promise you’ll stay safe. That you won’t take any stupid risks.”
She had to swallow the lump in her throat before she could answer. “I wish I could—”
“I know,” he said quickly.
“I could get hurt just as easily here.”
“I know.” He took her hand in his. His fingers were warm and strong where they grasped hers. She turned her hand to link her fingers through his.
“Jesus, Lily, I would do anything to protect you. Anything.”
His tone was so fierce, she wanted to pretend it was enough.
That wasn’t so much to ask, was it? For just a few minutes of clinging to the fantasy that there was someone in the world who would put her above all others?
She wanted to believe it so badly that when he gave her hand a tug, she stepped even closer to him, wedging her body against his. His hands clutched at her shoulders as he pressed his lips to hers. He tasted like cranberries and cinnamon. His mouth was warm and spicy. His hunger was palpable. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once, like he couldn’t stop touching her. On her hips, her ribs, in her hair. Pulling her closer, like he could absorb her through his skin. She met him move for move, practically trying to crawl into his body. Everything else faded except the two of them.
He pushed away from the counter and backed her up a few steps until she felt the edge of the table bump against the back of her legs. His lips never left hers as he grasped her hips and lifted her onto the edge of the table. Her legs wrapped around him and she pulled him close, relishing the feel of his body against her, of his chest under her hands. Except he was too tall or the table was too short. The height issue must have frustrated him, too, because he lifted her up, turning around until she sat on the counter.
She didn’t know how long he kissed her. Minutes, hours. Days. And it still wasn’t enough. Even if she had a lifetime with him, she’d want more. But she didn’t have a lifetime. All she had were these few minutes before they were ripped apart, maybe forever.
She wanted to believe that she would come back. That everything would be okay. That she, McKenna, and Ely would make it easily into Canada and that McKenna would get the care she needed. Then Lily could come back here, having done at least one thing right.
She wanted to believe all of that just as desperately as she wanted to pretend that when she came back, Carter would welcome her. That he wanted her—that he needed her—just as much as she needed and wanted him.
The feel of his lips on hers and the urgency of his kisses let her pretend. So she kept kissing him and she let herself get lost in his touch.
So lost that she barely registered the pounding on the RV door. Or the sound of it being flung open and rattling as it banged against the cabinetry.
“Damn,” a sarcastic voice drawled. “I can see why you’re reluctant to let this walk away.”
Carter pulled his lips from hers. For a heartbeat, he just stared into her eyes. Just when she thought her heart might break, he stepped back, setting her on the floor as he did. Slowly they both turned to face Ely, who was standing in the doorway.
“Did you need something?” Carter asked tightly.
Ely stepped farther into the RV and McKenna waddled in after him.
She pulled a visible cringe. “Sorry! I didn’t—”
“It’s okay,” Lily said, even though it wasn’t. “What’d you need?”
Ely slanted her a smile. “You, sweetheart.”
Carter took a half step toward him. Less than a half step. Given the tiny space in the RV, it was tantamount to getting right in his face. “What?”
Ely ignored his question, nodding in Lily’s direction. “Grab your stuff and let’s go. It’s time to head out.”
“Now? We’re not going to wait until morning?”
Ely faked looking at his watch. “It’s only ten. Elite recon says there are no Ticks in the immediate area. We should leave while we can. We can be in Butte by nightfall.”
As soon as he said it, Carter rocked back a step. Like the words were a physical blow. That was how they felt to her, too. Even though she’d packed a bag, she wasn’t ready.
But she didn’t have a choice. This was best for everyone. Even though it broke her heart.
Again, she wanted to fall to her knees and cry. To wallow in sorrow and never get up again. But she couldn’t. There wasn’t time. Besides, in times like these, depression was for wusses.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Carter
I could hardly breathe as I stalked out of the RV and headed out to the deeps. I kept moving for one reason and one reason only. If I stopped moving, I would turn around, go back, and ask Lily to stay. I’d fucking beg her.
The idea of doing that terrified me. Because if I did, she would know just how much I loved her, how much I needed her. I couldn’t ever let her know that because then she really wouldn’t leave. She would stay with me. And eventually, she’d get hurt again. Something worse than being shot in the shoulder. Something more permanent. Something more horrible. Something I couldn’t even consider.
Even the thought made the blood in my head pound. It was like I was in a fight with a Tick, the way my vision faded to black at the periphery.
Which was why I didn’t even hear Ely approaching behind me until it was too late. Ely grabbed my arm and before I even realized what I was doing, I turned on him, slammed him into the next rock column, and held him, dangling there with my forearm wedged against his neck.
My vision cleared just enough for me to realize what I’d done. I lowered my friend to the ground. Ely just stood there for a moment with his hands raised and palm out in a gesture of innocence.
“What the hell, man?”
I didn’t answer that question. Instead I jammed a finger in his face. “You keep her safe. Do you understand me?”
“Yeah. I got that.”
“No. I mean, no matter what. You keep her safe.”
“Of course.”
