She looked up at Joe, who stood there holding his beautiful baby girl in his arms. She’d sworn she would do everything in her power to keep Josie safe. Letting go now, knowing that she couldn’t do that in person, was like ripping her heart out. She didn’t want to die.
And yet, she was doing everything she could to protect Josie. She understood now what McKenna had meant about that. This was her fighting for Josie. Making them do the right thing. Choosing death when life was no longer an option. That was fighting, not giving up.
“You can do this for me, right Joe?” He was shaking his head. “Yes. You can. I know you don’t want to. But it’s the right thing. It’s easier to do it now. We have no idea how long I’ll have. I’d rather go now than risk putting anyone else in danger.”
But Joe was still shaking his head. “No, Lil. I don’t think I can.”
What was she going to do if she couldn’t convince either one of them?
She still had her handgun, but there were no guarantees that a gunshot would kill her. She was still mostly human, but who knew how long the virus took to kick in. For all she knew, her epigenetics were already switching around to change her body. When Sebastian had turned Mel, it had started so damn fast.
No. She needed one of them. Even if she shot herself, she needed someone to dispose of the body and make sure she didn’t regenerate.
“Joe, listen to me. You can do this.”
“No, Lily. I can’t.”
She saw the resolution in his gaze. Saw what it would cost him. Dear, sweet Joe. Joe was a pacifist. And he’d just found out about McKenna. Carter must have told him on the drive down, because his eyes were red- rimmed. Besides, he hadn’t asked about her, which he surely would have done if he didn’t already know she was dead.
The guy had just lost the love his life and now she was asking him to do this horrible thing. To someone he liked. Shit.
Still, it needed to be done and Carter wasn’t going to do it. So she dug deep, wracking her brain for something that would make this easier for Joe. “I was there when McKenna died. There were Ticks coming. She was bleeding out. And I left her there so Josie and I could escape. I let her die.”
But he just shook his head, like he didn’t believe her. “Nah, Lily. You wouldn’t have done that. And I can’t do this.”
“Damn it!” she cursed. “Don’t you two get it? I’m turning into a monster. Already! You have to do it now while you can!”
Carter shoved himself to his feet and stormed around to the other side of the car and started digging through a bag on the driver’s seat.
“No. It’s not going down like this.”
She turned in her seat to watch him. What did he mean, it wasn’t going down like this? It had already gone down. There was nothing any of them could do.
Yeah, she got it. The situation sucked. They hated having this choice thrust on them. They hated feeling helpless. She got that. That was how she’d felt when Mel . . .
And that’s when it hit her.
“Carter, no!”
But the phone was already in his hands. He’d already dialed Sebastian.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Carter
I couldn’t even look at Lily when I made the call. I even blocked out the sound of her protests until she’d hopped around the car to pound on my chest with her fists.
“I will not let you do this!” she yelled.
“It’s not your choice,” I said simply. I made it sound simple anyway, to hide how complicated this really was. I’d lied of course, because it should have been her choice. This should never have been my decision at all. But I couldn’t kill Lily. I couldn’t let Joe kill Lily. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to save her.
I pretended not to hear her yelling. Instead, I climbed into the car and shut the door behind me then reached across and pulled the passenger-side door closed as well. A quick jab of the door-lock key and I was locked away from all the things I didn’t want to hear. I couldn’t bear to hear.
Sebastian was slow to pick up. Really slow.
Of course, it was the middle of the night. He’d be out hunting. With Mel.
“Ah, if it isn’t my young padawan,” he drawled when he answered the phone.
“I need your help.”
“Of course you do,” he said with the typical sneer in his voice.
“Lily—” My anger closed around my throat and I had to swallow before continuing. Shit. I had to get through this. “She got hurt. She’s been exposed.”
“Exposed to what?” he asked politely. Like he was inquiring about the friggin’ whether. “Is she coming down with a cold?”
“Stop being so damn coy. You know what I mean. She was exposed to the Tick virus. You have to come help us.”
“Help you how, exactly?”
I gritted my teeth, unable to believe I was about to say this aloud. “You have to come bite her. Turn her before she can turn into a Tick.”
“No,” he said calmly.
“What? You can’t just—”
“No!” This time there was real anger in his voice, hidden beneath the crisp overpronunciation he fell back on when his emotions ran high. “No. It is you who ‘can’t just.’ You can’t just order me around. Do not forget which of us is the more powerful one in this particular venture.”
I blew out a breath, trying to calm myself down. “Please, Sebastian.” Even as I said it, I knew the word
“Well, then, I suggest you act quickly.”
“Come on, you know I can’t—” I couldn’t even bring myself to say it. How the hell was I going to do it? “Please, just come down to Texas. Just do it.” I was begging now. Not ordering. Not even hoping. Just outright begging. “Hell, you don’t even have to train her. Just turn her and walk away. By now, Mel could . . .”
But I didn’t even have an end to that sentence. I had no idea how Mel was doing. She hadn’t had any contact with any of us. For all I knew, she was miserable. She may hate us all for what we did to her. Was that the fate I wanted for Lily? Was I just being selfish?
Yes. And yes.
No doubt I was being selfish, but if I had to choose between killing her and letting her live, as a vampire, it was a choice I would make again and again.
“Just get your ass down here and do something. Please.”
“No,” he repeated calmly. “That particular ticket could only be redeemed once. No matter how you curse and beg and plead, I will not come solve your problem for you.” He paused. For a moment I thought he was done. End of conversation. End of hope. Then he added, “I might, however, have a suggestion that will help you.”
“Okay. Anything.”
“You mentioned you were in Texas?”
“Yeah. A little town called Sweetwater. Not far from Abilene.”
“Excellent. Then you’re practically in the den of the lion, as it were.”
“The den of the . . . What the hell are you talking about?”
“About Roberto, of course. You don’t really think he created the Tick virus without also creating an antidote,
