that didn’t involve me kicking this woman’s ass. She smiled and that just made it worse. I glanced down at my cup and for a brief second entertained the idea of giving her a French roast shower. Her gaze followed mine, and her eyes narrowed.
“This isn’t just me, Cass. The band and I have discussed it.” She lowered her voice as she leaned in closer. “Everyone knows you shouldn’t be here, even Tucker. Unfortunately, he cares about you enough that he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. It’s sweet, really.”
I was certain my heart stopped beating. It clenched painfully in my chest, and the air was knocked out of my lungs.
“I’m going to run some errands. This was a good talk.” She winked and slid out of her seat. She slipped off of the bus, leaving me alone to self-destruct. I glanced down at the paper that she had left behind. It was a large picture of the guys from last night’s show. Tucker had a girl on each side with his arms draped around their shoulders, a big smile on his face. I knew in my heart it was probably just fans wanting a photo op, but Donna’s words kept replaying on a loop in my head.
I didn’t know if I was strong enough to handle this anymore.
I didn’t know how long I sat there, staring off at the picture before I crumpled it up and shoved it in the small trash can under the kitchen sink. I was leaning over the counter with my eyes closed when a hand fell on my hip.
“Good morning,” Tucker said as he kissed my cheek and walked around me to grab a coffee cup. “How’d you sleep?” He poured the dark, rich liquid into the mug.
“Fine.” I turned to face him and gave him a smile. He narrowed his eyes as he took a sip of his drink. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. Just thinking of that call with my dad.”
He smiled as he took a step closer and put a hand on my shoulder.
“Everything is going to be fine.”
I nodded but didn’t know what else to say. Suddenly everything felt different. Once again I found myself doubting where I fit into his life.
“I know I was kind of a dick about it, but I think you should go see him. You were right. He’s your dad. He deserves a second chance.”
That didn’t help. Was he trying to get rid of me? I felt like I was ready to vomit.
“Yeah. I think that would be good.”
“Pills,” Eric yelled from his bunk, and Tucker laughed, shaking his head. I was happy to put an end to the painfully awkward conversation. I dug through the cupboard and grabbed Eric’s medication and a bottle of water from the tiny fridge.
I walked back to his bunk and stuck my hand just inside the curtain.
“Jesus Christ,” Eric squealed as the ice-cold bottle came in contact with his bare chest.
“Sorry!” It was just one of those days.
I slipped into the bathroom and pulled the door closed, leaning over the sink and slowly raising my eyes to look at myself in the mirror. I wasn’t that weak little girl from the trailer park. I could get past this. But my heart still felt like it had been crushed by Donna’s words, and seeing that picture of Tucker caused it to crumble. I wanted to run away. I needed to escape everything that was hurting me deep inside and figure out who I was and what I wanted in life. I needed to see my father. The escape would give me a much-needed break from the tour and get to know my father again. How could I ever really know myself without knowing where I came from? I turned on the sink and splashed water on my face, grimacing at the heavy bags under my eyes. At least they weren’t bruises. I had come a long way and needed to remember that.
A light tapping at the door pulled me from my pity party. I slid it open to see Tucker leaning against the wall and grinning.
“Want some company?” He winked and my heart melted.
“I was thinking about some breakfast.” I walked around him, grinning.
“Fine. We can do dessert later.”
I grabbed some fresh clothes from the cabinets beside our bunks. I barely had any space for my belongings now that Donna had taken over the large room at the back of the bus.
“What’s wrong?” Tucker asked as he grabbed clothes from his compartment. I realized I had been scowling as I thought of her.
“Nothing. Just not sure what to wear.”
“Sarah really is rubbing off on you.” He laughed and I threw a shirt at him and he ducked out of the way. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a purple tank top and stood just as Donna entered the bus. She froze, watching me.
“Leaving?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. I narrowed my eyes at her.
“Going out for breakfast. Want to come?” Tucker was completely oblivious to the tension between us.
“No.” She sank down onto the kitchen table bench as she looked around. “What happened to my paper?”
Tucker and I walked between the bunks toward the front door.
“We’re running low on toilet paper. I would check the bathroom,” I said.
Eric chuckled loudly from his bunk and I smirked, making sure to look her in the eye as I passed.
“You guys all right?” Tucker asked as we stepped out into the parking lot. “I know she isn’t exactly warm to the idea of you being here.”
I put my arms around his neck and stared into his deep-blue eyes.
“Everything is perfect as long as I’m with you.” I gave him a chaste kiss on the lips before pulling him across the lot to a Denny’s that sat on the other side of the highway.
I never got to finish my coffee and was in desperate need to fill up on caffeine. I wasn’t going to think about any of the drama until I was properly awake and thinking more clearly. Rash decisions had hurt those I loved in the past, and I wouldn’t make those mistakes again. Tucker didn’t deserve to be the victim of my fears; I owed it to him to work it out.
“I want something sugary.”
I laughed, looking up at the man I had fallen so hard for. It was hard to sit in this diner and not remember the first day he showed up in my diner. It felt like a lifetime ago and so much had changed, but I still got butterflies in my stomach when he smiled at me.
“I like this.”
He pulled his eyebrows together, not sure of what I meant.
“I like spending time with you alone without all the outside . . .”
“Bullshit?” He smiled, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Yes. I like it when we are alone,” I replied honestly.
“I like our alone time, too.” He raised his eyebrow.
“I’m serious. I miss this. Sneaking off to be by ourselves . . . it’s nice.”
“Why don’t we plan an escape? Get a hotel room or something.”
“I’d love that.”
“Can I get you something to drink?” the waitress asked, and I blushed, not realizing she had been standing at the edge of our table.
“Orange juice for me, please.”
“Chocolate milk.” Tucker gave her his jaw-dropping grin, and my mind flashed to the image from the newspaper. I shook the thought from my mind and plastered a smile on my face. I needed to trust him. I couldn’t let Donna get inside of my head. But it wasn’t Donna. The picture was there in black and white. That was it. The seed had been planted in a moment of weakness, and now it was festering, sprouting into a full-blown meltdown.
“I’ll also take a coffee, black,” I said with my eyes watching Tucker. His eyebrows scrunched together as he stared at me. The waitress went to grab our drinks.
“How is the writing going?”
“It’s going.” I could feel myself closing off, and I felt powerless to fight against it.
