“That might work. I’ll talk to Corporal Taylor and see if he has other ideas as well,” Lynn says.
“Okay. So, is everyone in agreement about doing both then; looking into a wind turbine and finish setting up shop here?” I ask. Everyone nods in agreement.
“Lynn, I’ll leave you to it,” I say giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Greg, you’re with me. I’ll go find Red and we’re off.”
“Jack, can I talk to you for a sec?” Lynn asks.
“Sure, babe,” I answer. “Greg, find Red and I’ll meet you out there.”
“Sure thing,” Greg responds.
“What’s up?” I ask with Greg’s boots clicking across the floor on his way out.
“I’ll come right to it. You’ve been a little distant since Nic. I know that was hard and you’re still hurting inside, but you’ve shut me out, or at least starting to. I want to be a part of the solution, not someone to keep at arm’s length. I just miss being close like we were,” she says.
I sigh heavily thinking she’s right. It’s just the way I am to a degree. When something hurts like that, I tend to keep everything at a distance until the pain subsides. A defense mechanism I guess. And now with the kids, well, the walls are wrapped pretty tight. Lynn continues looking into my eyes knowing that I’m thinking. She knows I like to take my time answering questions like that.
“You know, you’re right and I’m sorry. I just don’t want to feel that kind of pain again and I’ve been insulating myself against it. And now, well, it’s doubly so. I’m sorry, hon, it wasn’t right and I’ll try,” I say wrapping my arms around her and bringing her close.
“I’m not so sure I really like this new world,” I whisper into her ear. “I’ve done nothing but make mistakes and it’s eating a hole in my gut.”
Lynn pushes away but not out of my arms. “Jack, you know very well that’s not true. We’ve all made mistakes but that’s expected with all of the unknown we’ve had to deal with. I think we, and that includes you, have done a fine job getting us to this point. We’re alive and that’s what counts.”
“Nic isn’t,” I say softly.
A tear forms in her eye. “I know, Jack, and I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean, well, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I meant to say that we’ve come through a lot and I don’t think we’ve made mistakes doing it. We’ve just had to deal with some pretty majorly fucked-up shit and made the best decisions with what we knew. Ask anyone here and they’ll agree that you’ve made great choices. Now get the fuck out of here before you make me cry,” she says pushing away.
“Oh, and Jack, don’t go in there by yourself, please,” Lynn adds.
“I can’t promise anything but I won’t do anything rash. How’s that?” I ask.
“I guess it’ll have to do,” she answers leaning forward to give me a kiss which I happily return and hold her close once again. Separating, I tell her I think I’ll take all of Greg’s team along with Red to scout with if she thinks she can spare them.
“I’m glad you’re taking more and don’t feel you have to, or can, do this alone. We’ll be just fine here. What about taking a Stryker or two yourself?” She asks.
“Too big and noisy. We’ll be fine but I’m taking three instead of just the two Humvees,” I answer.
“Okay, Jack, I love you,” she says as we part.
“I love you too.”
I meet Greg close to the entrance and inform him of the change. He heads off to gather the rest of Echo Team while I inform Red Team of our plan. Emerging from the building into the brightness of the sunlit morning, feeling the light, fresh breeze as it drifts across the tall brown grass of the adjacent fields, I see Bannerman standing with his face skyward, letting the sun fall on him. I am hesitant to interrupt his obviously serene moment. He has done so much to help after our rocky start that he deserves any moment of serenity he can get. I do feel an anxiousness wanting to get a move on but I know that feeling of peace and those times where you just want to experience the moment and let it fill you. I wait until I see him take a breath and sigh. Coming out of his reverie and looking around, he sees me standing to the side and nods.
I had a thought emerging from the building and approach. “Wish we could just take this day to relax and enjoy this sunny day,” I say.
“Yeah, perhaps someday we’ll be able to do that once again. I hope so anyway,” he says. “But you didn’t come over just to discuss wishful thinking, did you?”
“Well, yes and no. Under different circumstances, yes, but I was wondering if there were any fiber-optic snake cams in the crates we gathered from the armories?” I ask.
“Yeah, we found some unpacking the crates. We only have four but we could find some additional ones I’m sure if you need them. How many do you want?” Bannerman asks.
“I’ll take the four we have now,” I answer. “Also, we could use some of the walkie-talkies from the store if you could drum some of those up.”
“I can do that. Let me go get them. I’ll be right back,” he says.
My thought is that the people at the compound have to communicate in some fashion and would most likely use walkie-talkies using generic and open frequencies. I want to use the radios to monitor their calls if they are in fact using those. Anything to get a better picture of what we are facing. Waiting for Bannerman to return, in a similar manner that he was, I relish the warmth bathing my face. The knot in my stomach doesn’t allow complete relaxation. The tension and worry inside feels like every muscle in my body is clenched.
“Now, Jack, you aren’t planning to go in by yourself or anything, are you?” Lynn’s voice asks behind me, interrupting my reverie.
“Someone’s been telling on me,” I say without turning.
“Bannerman might have mentioned a thing or two,” she says.
“Not planning on it, but if the opportunity presents itself, I want to be ready,” I answer her question.
“Jack, that’s your way of saying yes,” she says as I turn toward her.
“Seriously, I am not planning on anything but getting a better look at what we are facing, but if there’s a chance of getting Gonzalez and the kids out, I’m taking it. Believe me, I’m not going to jeopardize their safety to alleviate my own anxiety,” I say.
“What about the others in the compound?” She asks. “And before you answer, I know the kids and Gonzalez are the priority, but the others deserve a chance as well.”
“I’m not completely heartless and have given them some thought as well. My hope is that we can find a way to get everyone out, assuming of course that we’re right about what’s going on, but the kids come first,” I answer. “And Gonzalez.”
“Just be careful, Jack, and I know they come first. I want you to come back as well,” she replies.
“I will, hon. I will,” I respond and give her another kiss. “I want more moments with you and I’m not looking to depart this world so soon. Even if it is a rather fucked-up one right now.”
Echo Team, with Greg in the lead, emerge from Cabela’s with their gear and head towards one of the Humvee’s with Red Team, or what is left of them, gathered by it. Bannerman follows shortly on their heels and hands the fiber-optic cams and radios over for which I thank him. We talk about switching our tactical frequencies. If the kids and Gonzalez were taken, then our radios will be in the marauder’s possession giving them ears into our conversations. We settle on a primary and secondary frequency.
“Okay, time to go. I love you,” I say to Lynn.
“I love you too.”
With that, we pile in the Humvees, the diesel engines cranking over and spilling their throaty roar across the still parking lot. Small amounts of dark smoke exit the exhausts and drift on the morning breeze before dissipating altogether. The day has warmed the interior of the vehicles and I feel a trickle of sweat roll down my neck and a slight sting as it crosses the still open scratch on my neck. I usually heal quickly but this one doesn’t appear to be closing anytime soon. I put my hand to the bandage covering the wound. I have been pouring antibiotics over it daily and taking them as well. At least it stopped oozing, I think remembering that night in Portland and how close we came to becoming just another pile of corpses in some remote location. The periodic headaches, which I have associated with the slow-healing wound, have diminished to an extent as well.
Shrugging and forgetting about it as we pull out of the lot, I set my mind on the task ahead. The tension centering in the pit of my stomach tightens as my thoughts center on what lies ahead. I would like nothing more than to take some Strykers and Bradleys and wipe the people, who took my kids and possibly harmed them, off the
