The Twice Lost

If she was in a dead zone, then it was time to search for a living one.

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“Hello, Dorian.” Ben Ellison smiled up at him from a bench at the back of the town’s tiny cemetery. Although Dorian still felt some resentment over the conversation they’d had about that video of Luce, he smiled back. Ben Ellison was probably the only adult who actually cared about him now that his parents were dead, and in spite of himself Dorian had come to regard him as, maybe not a substitute father, but something like a favored uncle. “It’s been too long. How are you?”

“I’m okay.” Dorian settled onto the bench beside him. The cemetery was at the top of a hill, and views of the harbor winked between the trees. A toy boat moldered in the grass of a nearby grave; probably a fisherman was buried there. “You said on the phone you had some news?” Dorian felt a spike of tension in his stomach as he asked that—maybe they’d found Luce; maybe they knew where she was.

“I do, yes. I’m hoping you’ll think it’s good news.” Ellison’s thick brown hands were unsettled, squeezing and releasing a tissue. Dorian began to get the impression that, behind his smiling warmth, the guy was really worried. “How would you like to go back to Chicago? You can re-enroll at your old high school in the fall. Everything’s set. All you have to do is agree.”

This was the last thing Dorian had expected. “Chicago? But . . .”

“Theo Margulies. You told me once that he’s been your best friend since first grade.”

“Yeah, he is. But what—”

“I talked to Theo’s mother. She’s agreed to take you in until college. You’ll be living with your friend, and you’ll get your old life back, at least to the extent possible.” The warm brown eyes flashed apprehensively as Ellison inspected Dorian’s face. Dorian couldn’t imagine what the problem was. “I truly hope you’ll say yes, Dorian.”

Ben Ellison did genuinely like him, Dorian knew. But he was still FBI, and Dorian didn’t think the FBI usually got involved in looking for foster homes for orphaned teenagers. “Why do you care? ”

“I thought it would be better for you. Staying here, so near where the Dear Melissa crashed, can’t be easy. Luckily I was able to make arrangements with the lawyer in charge of your parents’ estate to cover your expenses.” Ben Ellison was looking straight at Dorian, but he was doing it too deliberately, Dorian thought. He was making too much of a display of not having anything to hide.

“I don’t really want to go back, though,” Dorian said. Testing him. He watched Ben Ellison’s broad brown face, saw the nervous lights flare in his eyes. “I mean, you know, there’s my band here now. And there’s Zoe.”

“And a pair of guardians who you know quite well are dying to be rid of you. And a tremendous number of painful memories.”

Suddenly insight leaped into Dorian’s mind, and he knew why Ben Ellison was so eager to ship him back to Chicago. He wanted to get him away from the ocean. If that was the idea, well, then Chicago was about the best you could do. Dorian looked up at the older man so sharply that the thought passed between them more loudly than a shout: This is about Luce, isn’t it? This is to make sure I won’t see her again.

“She isn’t even around anymore,” Dorian objected. His voice was throaty. There was no need to say who “she” meant.

Unless maybe that was what Ellison was hiding? Maybe Luce was back, or they’d seen her traveling north, or . . .

“I know she isn’t,” Ben Ellison agreed, then hesitated. Dorian was still glaring at him, his blood quickened by the suspicion that Ellison was lying to him. “But Dorian, hasn’t it occurred to you that . . .”

“That what?”

“That, as someone whose association with mermaids has been established beyond all question, in the eyes of the government you’re . . . a dubious quantity, at best.”

Dorian was confused. “It’s not like— I don’t have any association with them now. It’s not like any of the mermaids who are living up here would try to see me or anything. The ones who even knew about me are all gone.”

“That doesn’t matter.” Ellison’s tone was suddenly dismissive.

“I mean— What are you saying?”

“As long as you’re living near the ocean you’ll be regarded as a potential problem, Dorian. There’s no way to prove you won’t have any more contact with mermaids while you’re here, and . . . I’d prefer if that wasn’t the case. There are certain individuals whose interest I’d rather you didn’t attract.”

“What individuals?”

Ellison shrugged off the question. “I’d like them to forget about you. If you’re far from the sea, back at your old school and keeping your head down, they might decide you’re no longer germane to their concerns.”

Dorian stared at him, thinking this over. “Thanks, I guess. You’re trying to protect me?”

“Of course I am. As usual. Not that you ever make it easy, Dorian. Or particularly pleasant.”

Dorian grinned a little unsteadily at that. “I still don’t want to go back, though.”

“And not because of Zoe, I’d imagine. Dorian, Luce won’t be returning here. I’m quite certain about that. Don’t waste your time waiting for her.”

“I do actually love Zoe,” Dorian snapped.

“And yet it wasn’t so long ago that you told me you were still in love with Luce. And you expressed that sentiment through some fairly dramatic behavior.” Ben Ellison was referring to the time he’d found Dorian dripping wet on the beach, after he’d broken up with Luce, after he’d tried to get her to drown him, after she’d vanished . . . Dorian glowered. So what if he was still in love with her? That wasn’t anybody’s business but his. Even Zoe didn’t need to know what he saw when he closed his eyes.

Dorian decided to change the subject. “Why don’t you think Luce will come back here, anyway?”

He’d asked the question casually enough, but its effect was immediate. Ben Ellison grimaced and looked away, cheeks flushing and mouth tight. Dorian stared at him, perplexed. If he didn’t know better, he’d think Ellison was ashamed of something.

“Luce is very far south of here by now. That video was shot in Washington, and that was over a week ago. And she was clearly heading down the coast.” Ellison seemed to be keeping his voice as flat as possible.

“So? She could still turn around.”

“Dorian . . .” Now it was Ellison’s turn to change the subject. “Go back to Chicago. I’ve done everything I can to make it an attractive option for you.”

“I don’t want to leave here, Mr. Ellison.”

“I assume you know how unreasonable you’re being?”

“And why would I care if some government assholes think I’m talking to mermaids, anyway? I wouldn’t be doing anything wrong. It’s not like hanging out with mermaids is against the law or anything.”

For a long moment they stared at each other. Dorian watched shadows shifting and twisting in the brown depths of Ellison’s gaze, watched his lips compress with irritation and—Dorian felt more certain of it now— embarrassment. But that wouldn’t make any sense, unless . . .

Unless Luce’s darkest fears had come to pass. Dorian forgot about the cemetery around him, envisioning Luce terrified, hunted, dashing through towering waves.

“Dorian . . .” Ben Ellison sighed. Whatever Dorian had seen darting inside his eyes was hidden again; the older man just seemed world-weary, impatient, tired out by trying to reason with the irrational adolescent sitting across from him. “It might be.”

Dorian’s thoughts were so far away that he was confused. “What might be what?”