Outcome

would Haley care? She already had a car.

'Oh, Andi, that’s wonderful.' Haley’s mom smiled brightly. 'Is that it?' she pointed to my baby at the curb. I nodded. 'What a beautiful car. Congratulations.' Before I knew it, I was pulled into a hug. 'You must be so proud.'

'Yes, I am.' I just wanted out of there. 'Okay, well, I guess just tell her I came by.'

'I will do that. Congratulations again, hon.'

'Thanks.' I gave her as good a smile as I could muster, and turned away to head back to the Jeep.

I sat at my desk, staring out the window. I could see my car from there, and wanted so badly to be out in it, shopping again, with Haley. Why wasn’t she home today? I had never just shown up at her house unannounced, and the one time that I managed to garner enough courage to do just that, she’s gone. Why would she go shopping with Kelly when she had finished all her Christmas shopping with me? What can Kelly add to the shopping experience that I couldn’t give her?

Fuck it. I knew I shouldn’t put much stock into this thing with Haley. I wasn’t even sure if it could be labeled as a friendship. She had her fun, and now it was back to her little loyal bunch of groupies.

I turned on my computer, and began to play Literati.

I heard a knock on my bedroom door, and glanced at the clock on the computer screen, shocked to see it was nearly three in the afternoon.

'Come in.'

The door squeaked open, and I felt arms slide around my neck, and a cold cheek against mine. What the?

'Congratulations, Andi,' said a low voice. I wanted to smile, but my stubborn side wouldn’t allow that.

'Thanks.' My voice held no emotion, just dry.

'What’s wrong?' The arms pulled away, and I turned to see Haley staring at me.

'Did you have fun?' I asked, my words far more biting than I’d intended. I crossed my arms over my chest. Haley took a small step back.

'What? Fun? What are you talking about?'

'I heard you went shopping with Kelly. Guess my time is up, huh?' Haley’s head cocked to the side, her mouth opening a bit. I could tell she was surprised by this.

'I don’t understand. I told Kelly we’d go Christmas shopping. We go every year. What’s the problem?'

'Nothing.'

'Don’t give me that, Andi. What did I do?' She put her hands on her hips, trying to read anything from my face, but I gave her nothing.

'I guess our friendship isn’t enough.' I looked down, feeling dejected, but doing my best to hide it.

'Andi, Kelly and I have been friends since birth, basically. She and I will always be friends. I don’t get what’s wrong.' She stared at me, I looked back up at her, my face stern and stone. She brought her hand up to her face and began to chew on her thumbnail, looking at me the entire time, then began to pace around the room, not looking at anything, just moving. I didn’t understand it, and I hated the silence. I watched her every move, trying to see what she’d do. I felt anxious, fidgety. Then Haley stopped, turned to me.

'You know what, Andi?' I didn’t answer. My pride was still flying entirely too high at that point. 'You set me up to fail. Because of some asshole who decided to pick on you two years ago, I have to pay. Yeah, Jimmy is an ass, and yes, what he did was wrong. But I didn’t do it. I never made you any false promises, I never made fun of you, and I never used you. The only thing I did was like you for who you are. That’s a hell of a lot more than you can claim for yourself.' I stared at her, now my mouth hanging open. She ran her hands through her hair, walking around my room as I imagined she got her emotions under control.

'I have spent so much time with you in the past couple of months,' she continued before I could even get a word in, even if I had wanted to. 'Not because I had to, but because I wanted to. I like you, Andi. But I do have other friends, and I cannot, and will not just drop them to the wayside because you don’t like them, or want to monopolize all my time. I want to spend time with you. Hell, I’m here right now, aren’t I?' I said nothing. 'Aren’t I?' I nodded. She took a deep breath before continuing.

'You know something?' Haley turned to me again, standing by my shelf of Beanie Babies. 'You’re doing the same thing to me that my friends have done to you. You’re just as prejudiced of the quote, unquote, popular people as they have been of you.' She walked toward me, kneeling down next to the chair I sat in. 'Don’t do that, Andi. You’re far better than that. I like you for who you are, and I sure as hell thought I got the same from you.' She stared at me, but I said nothing. I had an overabundance of stubbornness, usually to my own detriment. This time was no different. 'We have a good thing going here. Please don’t ruin that, or throw it away.' I wouldn’t even look at her. Inside me was a tempest of emotions and knotted thoughts. 'Do you have nothing to say?'

Speak, Andi! Speak! The voice inside my head was so loud, so clear, yet my pride kept me from saying anything. I didn’t want to lose Haley, and I wasn’t sure how to keep her.

'Nothing at all, huh?' She stood, and I shrunk even more. 'Guess not.' I heard her footfalls as she walked across the bedroom, opened the door, then shut it behind her.

Fuck!

I stayed where I was, my mind screaming at me for being such an ass, possibly ruining a great friendship. God, when had I turned into everything I had ever hated about those people at school? Haley hadn’t deserved what I had done or said. She was one of the only people, except for Tracy, who had accepted me for me, all of me. Cynicism, stupidity, all of it. Why had I pushed her away like that? Where did I get off treating the one person I cared more about than any other, outside my family?

I felt paralyzed with regret. I had done some stupid things in my life, but I think this just about topped the list.

The day began to fade into night as I sat on, berating myself, and finally just going numb. I heard a knock at my door. No matter how much I wished it would be Haley knocking, so we could replay the entire scene, I knew it wasn’t.

'Come in.' I said quietly.

'Honey?' my mother. 'Do you want some dinner?'

'No.' I continued to stare out the window.

'Okay. If you do, just holler.'

'Okay.'

I closed my eyes.

Ring, ring, ring

My eyes shot open, and I looked back toward my bed where the phone sat, and I waited with nearly bated breath. I wanted to hear my name being called out as I was called to the phone. It never happened. Glancing at the clock on my computer, I was stunned to see it was nearly nine-thirty at night.

Feeling like I could move for the first time in many hours, and knowing I needed to so I could get some blood circulating to my butt, I stood and stretched. I looked out the window and saw my baby. Without another thought, I grabbed my keys, my thumb caressing the smooth, cold metal of the key chain, and headed out. I had to fix this.

Haley’s house was lit up when I pulled up to the curb, my heart beating a thousand beats per minute. What if she threw me off her porch? She’d have every right. Gathering my courage for the second time that day, I opened my door, and headed to the Corregan’s front porch.

I rang the doorbell, and waited, my breath coming quickly in little white bursts as the temperature dropped even further now that the sun was down for the night. I heard the locks open on the other side of the door, and it opened. Haley looked at me, surprise on her face.

'I’m sorry,' I muttered, barely audible to my own ears. She leaned in toward me a bit.

'Whaaaaaat?' My head lifted defiantly, and a smirk spread to my face.

'I am sorry.' She stared at me, then smiled. My heart lifted, and I wanted to dance.

'So, you going to give me a ride, or not?' She indicated my car with her eyes, then looked at me expectantly. I nodded vigorously.

'Come on!' I grabbed her hand, and tugged, but she pulled back.

'Wait, let me grab a coat, you nut.' She grabbed one, and didn’t even get a chance to put it on before I pulled her outside and toward my car.