Outcome

'There you are.' We all looked up and saw Mrs. Corregan standing in front of us. Haley stood.

'Mom, do you remember Andi Littman?'

'Of course. How are you, dear?' She smiled warmly at me, and I smiled back. Wow, she had aged. I figured it was probably all that she’d been through with her husband. Poor woman.

'I’m fine.' I stood, placing my hand on her arm briefly. 'I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I know that this is not an easy disease to combat.'

'Oh, thank you, honey. From what I hear, I know you’ll come up with some wonderful cure that will take care of Tim.' I glanced at Haley to see her smiling proudly at me. I looked down, feeling rather sheepish at the praise.

'Well, I’ll certainly do my best.'

'So tell me, Andi, are you still an Eddie Bauer nut?' Again, feeling rather sheepish, I reached under the bench and grabbed a plastic shopping bag, holding it up for her to see. She laughed.

'You’re hopeless. Tell me those aren’t hiking boots.' I could see Kendall nodding vigorously out of the corner of my eye. I held the bag tightly around the package inside so she could see the outline of a rectangle box. Haley shook her head. 'I knew it.' Did this woman forget nothing?

'Well, it helps to be predictable, especially during the holidays.' I winked at her, and she grinned.

'Well, mom. You ready?'

'Ready when you are, hon.' Both turned to me and Kendall who had also stood by my side.

'It was great chatting with you two.' Haley smiled at Kendall. 'And it was definitely nice to meet you, Kendall.'

'It was nice to meet you, too, Haley.' Kendal smiled, puffing her little chest out, proud to feel like one of the adults.

'Take care, Mrs. Corregan.'

'Thank you, dear, and how many times do I have to tell you to call me Marsha?' she waggled a finger at me good-naturedly. I smiled, nodding.

'Duly chastised.'

I watched the two walk away, chatting amongst themselves, and my eyes drifted to Haley. It seemed bit by bit, day by day more of my time with her came back to me until she filled my thoughts, trying to remember. Wanting to.

'She’s a nice lady.' I was ripped from my thoughts by Kendall’s words. I nodded as we started down the main hall of the mall.

'Yes, she is.'

* * *

I dropped Kendall off at home, and decided to take the extra time to head home to Winston and visit my mom. As I drove through my hometown, I took in the business that lined the streets, all so familiar to me. Places I’d hung out at with my family, by myself, and with Haley. I stopped at a traffic light, glanced over to my left. Carlos’s Pizza Heaven was packed, cars filling the parking lot, and people going in and out.

A smile spread across my face as I remembered Haley and I there. We had almost adopted it as our hang out. We’d spend many hours there, and had lots of good laughs and talks.

The light turned green, and I drove on.

'Hello? Anyone home?' I laid my car keys on the table by the door, dropping my wallet there, too.

'Andrea? Is that you?' I heard yelled from upstairs.

'Yup.' I headed up there, glancing into what had once been my room, but what now belonged to Clive’s youngest, Johnny, now a teenager. Alan, who uses Chris’s room when he comes back from school, was at the university. He was nineteen now, and made me feel old. I remember when Clive would bring the boys over, and we’d have a movie night, or Chris and I would play Play Station with them.

I looked toward my mom and Clive’s room, and saw her folding laundry.

'Hey, you.' She smiled, walking over to me and gathering me in a huge hug, nearly cutting off my air supply. But, since I didn’t visit as often as I should have, I never said anything. 'What a wonderful surprise. What are you doing here?' I grabbed a pair of socks and folded them together.

'I just dropped Kendall off, so decided to come by and visit.'

'How she doing? And when are you going to bring her by?' I shrugged sheepishly.

'I will, I promise.'

'You always say that, young lady.' She poked at me with her finger. I grinned, batting her finger away. 'How’s work, honey?'

'It’s good. Oh, speaking of. You’ll never guess who I ran into there.' She looked at me expectantly. 'Remember my old friend Haley Corregan?'

'Of course. She was such a pretty girl.'

'Yeah, well you should see her now. She works at the clinic.'

'How long has she been there?'

'I think a few weeks now.'

‘Wow. That’s pretty amazing, hon.' She folded a pair of Clive’s long johns, and set them on a growing pile of clothing. 'Is she married or anything? Have a family?' I stopped, thinking. My brows drew.

'I don’t know. I guess I didn’t ask her that.'

'Well, maybe you should.' She smiled at me. 'I’m glad you’re here, honey.' Another bone-crushing hug. 'Are you staying for dinner?' I nodded with a grin.

'I don’t get a home-cooked meal very often, you know.'

'I know. I thought I taught you better than that, Andrea.'

'Yeah, yeah.'

'Come on, you.' She put her arm around my shoulders, and we headed downstairs. 'It’s just you and me tonight, kid.' I was glad. I didn’t get near enough alone time with my mom anymore.

* * *

The lights of my hometown passed by me as I drove, headed back to Rochester. I thought about what my mom had said about Haley, her questions. She was such a mystery to me now. At one time I knew all there was to know about her. What her dreams had been, her hopes, where she planned to go, and what she wanted to do there.

What about now? Had she achieved all that she had wanted to at this time in her life? She was thirty years old now, would turn thirty-one at the end of the year sometime. Had it really been twelve years since we’d seen each other last?

Why do I feel like there is something there, something that I need to remember, to think about?

Clearing my mind of useless thoughts, I noticed a convenience store, and pulled into the parking lot. Once inside, I looked around, feeling the need to surprise Erin tonight. I saw a stand filled with rose bouquets, and grabbed one. They weren’t the best looking flowers you’d ever seen, but on such short notice, it would do.

Bouquet and card in hand, I headed to the counter to pay.

Erin and I had actually been doing pretty good, lately. I still wasn’t sure why we were still together. She was ready to settle down, wanted children, a dog, the whole nine yards. Where there was nothing wrong with this picture, it just wasn’t in the cards for me. I knew that, and accepted that. I just didn’t have it to give, no matter how much I may want to with Erin.

I sighed, a sadness filing me, for not the first time. I wasn’t being fair to Erin, but then again, we’d talked about this so many times, and she knew where I was coming from. I had given her the out so many times, telling her to go out and find someone who was where she was, and who was interested in joint savings.

She said she’d wait.

I smiled as I crossed the city limits of Rochester, suddenly really excited to see her. I felt the need to hold her in my arms, and just bask in the warmth of being loved. Yes, I did love Erin. How could I be with her for three years, and not?

The turnoff to her house was coming up. I followed the road, glancing over at the things I’d bought for her, hoping she’d like them. She’s complained before that I don’t give her surprises, so, here I am.

I pulled up to her house, my headlights reflecting off the garage door of the house. I saw a light on in her bedroom upstairs, so knew she was up. I cut the engine, and grabbed the card, digging a pen out of my coin tray.