'That’s great.'
'Dr. Littman, you have a call on 407. Dr. Littman, call on 407.' I sighed, stood.
'Well, I better get. Catch you later?' Haley smiled up at me.
'Bet on it.'
Part 11
'Dr. Littman, you have a call on 407. Dr. Littman, call on 407.' I sighed, stood.
'Well, I better get. Catch you later?' Haley smiled up at me.
'Bet on it.'
I hurried to the small room off the cafeteria where phones were lined up for staff and patient’s families. I picked one up, dialed the number, and sat down on one of the arm chairs that were set around the room, along with a coffee pot, soda machine and microwave.
'This is Dr. Littman.'
'Doctor, this is Nurse Wilson upstairs. You need to get your butt up here, now.' I could hear the worry in the nurse’s voice, which sent a chill down my spine. She was always so calm and collected, and I had a feeling I knew what was going on.
'I’m on my way.'
I nearly ran to the elevator, then decided I’d take the stairs instead. My footsteps echoed throughout the stairwell, my hand sliding along the railings as I took two stairs at a time.
On the ward, I quickly made my way toward room 301. I felt a lump in my throat when I saw Hannah’s mom out in the hall, crying. I looked into the room to see doctors working quickly on the young woman, and a priest against the wall, muttering to himself.
I turned to Hannah’s mother. She looked up, saw me, and grabbed me in a hug.
'What’s happened?' I asked.
'She stopped breathing,' she sobbed. I listened to the doctors in the room, trying to figure out what they were doing, and Hannah’s progress. The sound of the heart machine’s solid noise sent fear through me. Then, almost like a second chance, the noise broke, and the heart machine began to beep.
I sighed, pulling away.
'Hang on a sec.' I headed into the room to see what was going. The doctors were beginning to clear out, and Hannah’s eyes were open. She looked at me, the oxygen mask still over her mouth and nose. With a sigh of relief, I headed back out into the hall. 'She’s okay.'
'Oh, god.' Her mother grabbed me in another bone-crushing hug, sobbing even harder. The priest walked out, stood next to us. Hannah’s mom turned to him. 'Thank you, Father Gray. Thank you so much for coming.' The elderly man smiled at her, taking her hands in his.
'She’ll be fine now. But I’ll always be here for you, okay?' She nodded. 'Bless you, child. And bless Hannah.' With a smile at us both, he walked away.
'I need to make some phone calls. Thank you, Dr. Littman.' She hugged me one last time, then headed toward the phones.
I took a deep breath, and headed back into room 301. Sitting in the chair next to the bed, I looked at Hannah. Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked at me, reaching a hand out. I looked at it for a moment, then took it in mine. It was cold and clammy, but the feeling of her squeezing my fingers was the greatest feeling in the world.
'You really gave us a scare, Hannah,' I said, my voice quiet, hushed. She smiled weakly.
'Sorry,' she said, barely audible, but I heard it. I smiled.
'No need to be sorry. We’re just glad.' She stared at me for a moment, then reached up, slowly pulling her oxygen mask down.
'Dr. Littman?'
'Yes?'
'What’s your name? Your first name.' I felt a lump in my throat for a moment, and for a moment more I thought I would cry. Swallowing it all back, I answered.
'Andi.' She smiled.
'That’s my husband’s name, Andrew.'
'Well, then he’s got a good name.' She smiled, nodding.
'He’s a good guy. We have a four year old.'
'What’s the name?' I began to rub slow, gentle circles on the back of her hand.
'Savannah.' She began to cough, I put her mask back into place.
'That’s a beautiful name, Hannah.'
'What the hell’s going on with my wife?' I turned to see a man enter the room followed by Hannah’s doctor. I quickly stood, allowing him room. 'Baby,' he grabbed her in a hug, being so gentle with her, brushing the sweat- soaked hair back from her forehead, looking at her with such undying love.
I backed up toward the door, feeling like I was intruding on something very special, and very private. It also made me feel sad, and I knew what I had to do tonight.
I stared at the phone, arms crossed over my chest. I had been home for exactly fifteen minutes, and had tried to muster up the decision, or better yet, courage, to pick it up. Finally, with a sigh, I did, and began to dial.
'Hello?'
'Hey, Erin.'
'Hey, you.' I could hear the smile in her voice. I closed my eyes.
'Hey. Are you busy?'
'No. Why?' I twirled the phone cord around my fingers, my palms starting to sweat.
'Mind if I come over? We need to talk.' She was silent for a moment, I could almost hear the wheels turning in her head, feel the fear creeping up her spine. I’m sure it matched mine.
'Uh, sure. Should I put some dinner on?'
'No, I’m not hungry. I’ll be there in a few.' I hung up the phone, taking several deep breaths. I changed into a pair of jeans and tank, and headed out.
I sat in the Jeep for a minute, staring at Erin’s house, knowing she was probably wondering what on earth was going on. Finally gathering my courage, I got out, and headed for the door. I rang the doorbell, and within a few seconds, Erin answered.
'Why are you ringing the bell?' I shrugged, smiled. She lead me to the kitchen where I could smell coffee brewing. 'So, what up?' She kept her back to me, which told me a lot. I looked down at my feet, hands on my hips.
'Hannah almost died today.' I began, my voice low, trying to keep it steady. Erin turned to look over her shoulder, her eyes filled with concern.
'Oh, Andi. I’m sorry.' I nodded, chewing on my lower lip.
'Her husband came in, and he was so loving toward her, it was amazing. The way he was there,' I snapped my fingers. 'Just like that.' I looked up at her. 'Erin, I can’t be that way.' She sighed, running her hands through her hair.
'Not again.'
'Erin, I have been so selfish to you over these last three years, and it’s not fair.'
'Andi,'
'No, let me finish. I’m going to do the most unselfish thing that I can for you.' I looked at her, feeling my blood pounding in my head, my voice shaking. 'I’m going to let you go. You need to find someone who can give you what you need, what you want.' Erin’s face began to distort, her eyes filling.
'Don’t do this, Andi. Isn’t it for me to say what I do and do not want?' I shook my head.
'Not this time, Erin. I don’t deserve you.' I felt my own eyes begin to fill, thinking of not having her in my life
