semi whizzed by, not a foot from my front bumper. I felt like I’d have a heart attack right there, my hand on my chest as I attempted to calm it. I looked to my right, seeing the tail lights of the rig disappear into the early morning darkness. What am I doing?
Taking a series of deep breaths, I put the car in gear, and headed to the Mayo.
To my surprise, Samantha was already in the lab, sitting on a stool with her arms crossed over her chest. 'Hey, Dr. Littman.' I looked at her.
'Hi.'
'We need to talk.' She stood, walked over to me, looking into my face. She drew her brows. 'God, you look like shit. What are you doing to yourself? Trying to work yourself to death?' I just stared at her. 'You’re here working twenty-hour days, I don’t imagine you’re sleeping anymore than a few hours a night. You’re not eating.' She shook her head, putting her hand on my shoulder.
'Look, Andi, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you need to go home. I’ve already talked with Dr. Zimmer, and he ordered you to leave, and take the week off.'
'You went over my head? Talking to my supervisor?' I felt anger running through me.
'Yes, I did. I’m sorry to do that, but you are of no use to the lab here, like you are. I’ve caught you falling asleep in your office, you messed up numbers yesterday, you need to go home, get some sleep, and rest.'
The anger drained out of me as the exhaustion took over. I nodded, taking a deep breath. Dr. Torres patted my arm.
'Go home, Andi. We’ll see you next week.'
My eyes opened, followed by a yawn. Glancing at the clock, I saw that I had been asleep for nearly the entire day. I had gone to sleep at three past five this morning, and it was now four-thirteen.
I sat up in bed, raising my arms toward the ceiling and stretched; the best feeling I’d had in days. I got out of bed, and headed toward the bathroom, glancing out into the living room. I stopped. I brought my hand up, stroking my chin with my finger, then hurried back to the bedroom to dress. It was almost five, and I figured that’s when they closed.
'As you can see, we have a lot to choose from. This little guy was brought in yesterday.'
I knelt down, looking into that cute little face, tail wagging a million miles an hour. 'How old is he?'
'We think he’s about two years old.'
'Oh.' I stood. 'I’d really prefer a puppy.' I moved on, feeling so bad, wishing I could take all these guys home. I looked into each small pen, smiling at the barking or yelping dogs. I had had a puppy when I was really little, but my father had taken it with him when he’d left the family. This would certainly be an adventure for me.
Behind me I heard a sharp yelp, and near constant panting. I turned, and knelt down, grabbing onto the chain link of the door with my fingers. The small, black and gray Pug stared at me, large, bulging eyes, tongue hanging out of its mouth. It cocked its head to the side, whining. I smiled, unable to help it.
'That one.'
The drive home was a loud one; the new four-month-old Pug I’d just bought from the Humane Society was whining in the little dog kennel I’d bought from the place, filled with all the new toys I’d bought for him. Next to the kennel sat a bag of IAMS for puppies, and a bag of bones.
The entire drive, I tried to think of a name for my new little buddy. I felt excited, almost giddy, and certainly as though I was playing hooky from work. Never, in all my working life, had I missed a single day of work. Well, one, but there was no other way. Even still, that was over ten years ago. I thought of that day every year.
Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I stopped at a red traffic light, looking down at my puppy.
'What do I call you, little man?' I reached my fingers into the cage, smiling as he sniffed them, then licked them, then whimpered. 'Soon, little guy, you’ll be home.' Another whine.
I pulled into the long driveway that would lead to my home, parking out front in the circular drive. I grabbed the kennel in one hand, threw the bag of dog food over my shoulder, and headed into the house, setting it all down in the middle of the living room, opening the cage door, and sitting cross-legged on the floor.
The puppy took one step outside of it and sat on his haunches, looking at me. He cocked his little head to the side again, whining. I sighed, realization of what I had just done coming into view.
'What am I going to do with you, Bunsen?' My brows drew. Bunsen? Hey, worked for me. I smiled, still staring at him. He whined again, standing, then sitting, then standing again, taking a tentative step, sniffing as he did, his little curled tail wagging slowly, almost unsure if it should. He walked over to the bag of puppy food, sniffing, licking the bag. I watched, amused, and charmed. Sniffing the air, he turned and looked at me, his big eyes seemingly filled with questions and confusion.
I scratched my nails on the wood floor.
'Come here, Bunsen.' Making kissing sounds with my mouth, I slapped my leg. He looked at me for a moment, then almost hopped in his haste to get over to me, his small paws slipping and sliding on the smooth floor. Finally he made it to my lap, trying to jump up at me, licking whatever he could get into contact with.
Yeah, little buddy; we’d have some fun.
'Okay, Bunsen. You may have kept me awake last night, but today I’m going to run your little butt off until you can barely stand. You got me?' He looked up at me, licking his chops, and whined. He was so little, so far down there.
I held onto the navy blue leash I’d bought that matched his collar. I stared at the bike trail that was before us, and with a sigh, began to walk. The puppy kept up with my slow pace, looking all around his new surroundings. Luckily he was a curious little fellow, so he didn’t try and fight me.
As we went, I looked around, too. It was mid-June, and the day was beautiful. I wore a pair of cargo shorts, tank and sneakers. It was a great day to walk. As we did, I began to notice things I’d never really given much thought to, before. The trees that lined our walkway were beautiful, luscious and green. Some actually bore fruit. As I looked further, and actually listened to all that was around me, I heard the songs of birds in those trees, calling out warnings to one another as we walked on. Bunsen looked up at them, his little head cocked to the side as he tried to figure out what the heck he was hearing.
I couldn’t stop the smile that came to my lips. It was a brand new day, and I began to think about my life, and where it had gone. I felt good now about what I had done with Erin. She was free now, and in my own way, so was I. I looked down at my new friend, who already, had added so much … activity … to my life. He gave me his undivided attention, something I never thought I’d want.
Hannah came to mind, too. All this, she may never see again. I thought of autumn here in Minnesota, and how beautiful these trees would be in just a matter of months, now. And how I had let so much time pass by, living in this house, never noticing it.
The path began to wind, and as we followed it, I realized we were coming upon a park where people were laughing, children were playing. I had no idea it was here. How sad.
'Yap, yap, yap!' I looked down when I felt the tension on the leash, and heard Bunsen’s little, high-pitched bark. Smiling again, I saw a squirrel sitting on its haunches, nibbling on what looked to be a bit of bread, staring at my dog. 'Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Yip, yip!' Bunsen was jumping around, making a fuss, trying his hardest to get to that little park dweller.
'Bunsen, stop it.'
'Yip, yip!'
'No!' He whined, looking up at me, then back at the squirrel, quietly growling in the back of his throat. Then the little animal scurried up a tree. As I followed his progress, my eyes found the blue sky, not a cloud in sight. 'Wow,' I whispered, amazed at the color; so bright, brilliant.
Where had I been?
'Okay, big guy. I will be right back. Okay?' I held the Pug up to my face, staring into his dark brown eyes. He stared at me, licking his nose. 'Okay?' With a small kiss to his wrinkled forehead, I put him back down on the passenger seat of the Jeep, and closed the door, walking quickly up to the hospital.
'Hey, now, aren’t you supposed to be off this week?' I turned to see Nurse Wilson looking at me, an eyebrow
