make a place for you on my management team. I don’t just need advice from lawyers, accountants, and politicians. I need to know what is happening on the front lines when I make decisions. Does my offer interest you?”
“I’m intrigued, and you’re not the kind of man to decline a generous offer to. There’s no doubt my men are sick of fighting an unwinnable war. Sick of watching their friends and colleagues die. But I need to talk to them first to be sure. Individually. It may take some time.”
“Of course. While you continue to consider my offer, I want you to spend the night here, Colonel. I’m throwing a birthday party tonight for the chief of police from Nuevo Laredo. He’s a talented young man that I’m grooming for political office. I’d like you to meet him. I can envision the two of you working together in the future. A number of my top lieutenants will be present as well.”
“As you wish, Padre.”
“Excellent,” the Padre said as he rose to lead them out of the office. “I’ll have a room set up for you. In the meantime, I’ll show you around the complex. I want you to examine some of the armaments Barquero acquired for me before we had our little falling out. I think you’ll be suitably impressed. I believe it will help make your decision easier. Later, you can clean up and relax before dinner.”
“Thank you, Padre.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The Honey Pot
Private Zulu wiped his sweaty and dusty brow with a dirty bandanna before sticking it in his back pocket and examining his handiwork. He cocked his head sideways and stared at the excavated plot of soil and rocks in the middle of the desert.
“That’s a honey pot?”
“It will be once it’s baited,” replied Avery.
“I don’t much reckon. Just looks like a sorry hole in the ground to me.” Private Zulu stuck his entrenching tool into the dry soil and spit into the shallow pit.
“Trust me Private… Ziggy! Quit pushing the dirt back in!”
“Like, I’m just squaring off the, like, edges, man,” Ziggy said as he worked his way around the perimeter of the dig site with his entrenching tool. “Finished, man!” Ziggy flashed a double peace sign.
“Well dug,” said the General. “Now get in to check it for size.”
“For what?”
“Size.” The General pushed Private Zulu into the hole.
“Like, why all the, like, hostility, man?”
“You’re next, you good-for-nothing, skinny-ass hippy.” Avery kicked Ziggy into the pit next to Private Zulu. Avery fell over in the process.
“Like, why are you always insulting me, dude?”
“I’m not insulting you,” Avery said as he picked himself up and dusted off his tracksuit. “I’m describing you. There’s a difference.”
“Well, at least I’m not, like, fat, and stuff.”
“I don’t need to be thin. God gave me awesome hair. Back in your hole!” Avery kicked his foot out at Ziggy, who was trying to climb out of the pit. “Back in your hole!”
“I want out,” said Private Zulu.
“Close your eyes and cover your mouths.” Avery pulled a small plastic squeeze bottle from his fanny pack. “Trust me on this one.” Avery squirted the men with a long stream of foul-smelling dark yellow liquid. Private Zulu and Ziggy howled in disgust. Zulu coughed and gagged, while Ziggy threw up in his mouth before choking it back down. Avery squirted them again for good measure. “That should do it.”
“What in the name of sweet Jesus was that?” Private Zulu asked while wiping off his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Genuine goat urine, gentlemen,” Avery replied. “I couldn’t come to an agreeable price with that unscrupulous goat farmer for an actual animal. Now think goat thoughts.”
“Like, goat thoughts, man?”
“Kind of like lamb thoughts, just not as cute.”
“Like, I want Nancy, man.” Ziggy reached out and pulled the large iguana into the pit and cuddled the squirming creature in his arms.
“General, where are the rest of your troops?”
“Back over the rise looking for gold… I mean scat.”
“Well, we’d better go get them and set up a perimeter above this location.”
“Aren’t we going to wait for dark?” the General asked.
“Dark? And potentially miss the opportunity to spot one of those nefarious bastards? No, we set up shop now.”
“I was under the impression the enemy was nocturnal.”
“Mostly. However, they know that I know that, so they’ll think I won’t think that they would know their best opportunity for migration would be when I wouldn’t think it was the same time they were thinking it would be. I think.”
“Naturally.”
Inside the Padre’s compound, Cesar followed Carnicero and the Padre toward a large red barn. Inside, the Padre led the two men to a large delivery truck parked in the cavernous room. Opening the back of the truck, the Padre motioned for Cesar to climb in.
“What do you think, Colonel?”
Cesar examined the crates of military-grade weapons and explosives. “U.S. military ordnance?”
“Precisely. Your men will have the best of everything.”
“These are my favorites,” Carnicero said, tapping on one of the crates before lifting the lid. Inside was a portable ground-to-air missile launcher.
“Impressive,” said Cesar. “Do you have more?”
“Of course,” the Padre replied. “I have many similar caches, although one lies at the bottom of a harbor. Barquero is paying the price for it.”
“Padre,” a shirtless man called out as he entered the barn.
“What is it?”
“Reports of some men on the property. About a mile to the west.”
“Are they police?”
“I don’t think so, Padre.”
“Army?”
“Impossible,” said Cesar. “I would know if there was an operation near this location. Probably just some people who stumbled into the area.”
“They picked the wrong place to stumble into. Carnicero, take some men and go after them.”
“Yes, Padre,” Carnicero said as he pulled a pistol from his waistband. “Kill them?”
“Not unless you have to. I want to know who they are. Bring them to me. I want to know who would trespass so close to my property. The locals know better.”
“Yes, Padre.”
“Cesar, come with me. It’s time for lunch.”
Private Foxtrot navigated his metal detector along the bank of the shallow stream as the rest of men poked their entrenching tools into the muddy flats along the edges of the water.
“This is useless,” said Fire Team Leader Alpha. “I don’t even have a clue what we are looking for.”
“If the General says there is gold out here, then there must be,” said Private Foxtrot.
