The Misfortune Cookie

like a wild thing, ranting and raving, shrieking and howling. When she flung out an arm, her fist connected with Lucky’s face. He cried out and staggered backward.

“Oh, no!” I cried, pulling myself out of Lopez’s bruising embrace. “Are you all right?”

“Fine. Ow. Fine.” Lucky pulled off his fake beard and tenderly felt his jaw. “That girl coulda been a boxer.”

“Officer Novak!” I said in surprise, recognizing one of the cops who were trying to get the frightened crowd under control.

“Miss Diamond.” He nodded to me and grinned. “You movie people lead such exciting lives!”

“I think my heart stopped,” Lopez said irritably. “And when did they start putting flamethrowers in the lions around here?”

“Esther! Are you all right?” asked the lion, its mouth now darkly singed from its fiery attack on Susan.

“I’m fine, John. A little shaken up, but fine.”

“Uncle Lucky!” The lion trotted across the street.

“You got here fast,” I said to Lopez.

“I was just around the corner.” He grabbed me again for another fierce hug and said against my hair, “What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t thinking,” I admitted. “I just didn’t want John to get shot. It really didn’t occur to me until she pointed the gun at me that she might shoot anyone else. After all, she was obsessed with the idea of killing John.”

“Why? I mean, who is John? Why does Ted’s sister want to kill him?”

“It’s such a long story.” I shook my head. “Maybe later.”

I realized that after weeks of being cold, I was sweating now. I unbuttoned my coat as I went over to Lucky and John.

John had removed his lion head, and he and Bill were looking at the enormous thing in perplexity.

“What the hell happened with that thing?” Lucky asked as he removed his wig. I saw that he was sweating, too.

“I don’t know,” said John, frowning as he stuck his head inside the lion’s mouth, apparently looking for whatever had caused that burst of fire. “Weird.”

Lopez joined him. “You mean that wasn’t on purpose?”

John shook his head. “I don’t even know what ‘that’ was.”

Lucky said, “It saved Esther’s life, though.”

I looked at Lopez and remembered what Max had said.

Extreme stress triggers these interesting events. His emotions and his focus become powerful enough for him to affect matter and energy, though it’s not conscious and he doesn’t realize it’s happening.

He’d obviously been pretty damn stressed by seeing Susan about to shoot me. I’d been pretty stressed by it, too.

So I thought I knew why a lifesaving burst of fire had poured from the creature’s mouth, aimed straight for Susan. Even though everyone else, including Lopez, was mystified by the event as they poked and prodded John’s singed lion costume.

Lucky said to me, “Is my face swelling?”

“Huh? Oh.” I looked at his jaw. “Maybe a little. We should get some ice.”

Lopez looked away from the lion to glance at us. He registered Lucky’s presence with surprise. “Hello, Lucky.”

We froze.

Shit.

Lopez looked at the hairy disguise that was now in Lucky’s hand. “Do I even want to know why you were wearing a wig?”

Nelli, who recognized Lopez, greeted him with friendly good cheer.

“Oh, good,” he said. “It’s Max’s neurotic dog. Where’s Max?”

“Busy,” I said. “Not here.”

Lucky sighed in defeat. “You’d better take Nelli, kid.” He gave me her leash, then turned to Lopez. “It don’t seem fair that this happened when I only came out here to save my nephew’s life.”

“And he saved me, too,” I added, hoping this would help.

“Uncle Lucky?” John said, looking worried.

“But whaddya gonna do? You got me, detective.” He stretched out his wrists toward Lopez to be cuffed. “And I ain’t saying a thing until I see my lawyer.”

Lopez looked down at Lucky’s outstretched arms, then back at his face. “I must have missed a chapter. What are we doing?”

John and I looked at him.

He looked at us.

I finally said, “You’re not going to arrest him?”

Lopez asked Lucky, “Did you do something illegal here today that I didn’t see?”

Lucky lowered his hands. “You’re not bringin’ me in?”

“For what?”

Looking a little annoyed now, Lucky said, “You’ve arrested half the family!”

“Yeah, and I’m hoping to arrest a few more,” Lopez said. “But I don’t have a warrant for you.”

“What?” John blurted.

“What?” I said.

“Either you’re smarter than you look,” Lopez said to the old mobster, “or you’re as lucky as they say. Because we can’t get anything on you. You’re free to go.”

“I’m what?”

“Of course, if you want to confess some crimes, I’d be happy to take you in,” Lopez offered.

“No, no. That’s fine. I’m happy to be a free man, detective.”

Lopez shrugged and then turned away from us to speak to Officer Novak.

John started laughing. “Oh, my God.”

“Shut up,” Lucky said darkly to him.

I was laughing, too.

“Three weeks trapped in a Chinese funeral home,” I murmured to Lucky. “And the cops weren’t even looking for you.”

“If the two of you ever tell anyone . . .” he muttered.

John and I just kept laughing.

“Hmph.” Lucky took Nelli’s leash from me and stomped away, the picture of offended dignity.

As the milling crowd began to thin out a bit, I saw Detective Quinn over by the police cars. He was talking on his phone.

“Esther, I don’t even know what to say.” John turned to me. “I think you saved my life today.”

“Does that make you indebted to me for a thousand years?” I asked with a smile. “Or do you have to save my life now?”

Lopez finished speaking with Officer Novak and caught my eye. He made a gesture indicating he wanted me to join him.

Here we go, I thought. I’d have to explain about last night’s smash and grab.

“I was thinking more along the lines of inviting you to dinner,” John said. “You know, to thank you. And to . . . well, maybe just to have dinner together?”

Lopez raised his brows at me, impatient to talk.

“I mean, can I call you?” John asked.

“Huh? Oh, sure,” I said. “Will you excuse me, John?”

I wasn’t looking forward to this, but I’d better get it over with.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Lopez asked in a low voice when I reached his side. “You scared me to death today.”