Waking Up Dead

watch.

Wrapping her arms tighter around herself Jackson tried to instill some warmth. She was reminded ridiculously of a time when she’d spent almost a month walking in constant rain. It had been winter then and toward the end of it Jackson felt like she would never be warm again. Only she had. The feeling had passed.

They always passed.

This one would too. Just not yet it seemed.

She’d thought about the zombie horde nonstop as they drove, hours and hours to think, and nothing good had come out of those thoughts. Getting to the survivor’s camp seemed more important than ever now. Hell, it was crucial, because how long could she and Luke survive alone?

She looked down at her hands, surprised to see them shaking a little, and was thankful all over again that she and Luke were together.

Right to the end. Whenever that might be.

“Jack?” Luke whispered, obviously alerted by her fidgeting. “You okay?”

Jackson swallowed. She didn’t want to admit to Luke what was making her feel odd, but at the same time every part of her ached to talk. Turnaround much?

“I’m fine.”

“Talk to me, Jack,” he said softly. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? Anything.”

“There’s no point.”

“There’s always a point. It’ll make you feel better, for a start.”

The minutes ticked by and Jackson kept silent. It was only when Luke reached out and took her hand that she spoke.

“I feel fine,” she said and he sighed.

“No you don’t.”

He squeezed her hand gently. Jackson closed her eyes and concentrated on the feel of his skin against hers. Soft and warm and oddly comforting. She squeezed back and took a deep breath. It wasn’t talking about them, her family and friends, so maybe just this once it was okay to open up to Luke. Maybe it would make her feel better?

“I keep thinking about the people.”

He frowned, she knew he did even though she couldn’t see it, and rubbed a thumb up and down the side of her palm. “What people?”

“The survivors in the town.”

“There were no survivors.”

“I think there were,” she whispered. “I’ve thought about if for hours and I think that’s why the zombies were massed there. Probably there were a group or two, and they hadn’t been able to get to them, so they called in reinforcements. They call each other with their groans or something. I’m almost positive it’s how they communicate.”

“You’re speculating.”

She shrugged, her shoulder aching from where the zombie had slammed her against the floor. “It makes sense.”

“Well, we killed a bunch of them, hurt a bunch more, so we helped.”

“I know we did, but if there are survivors, they’re not safe.”

“No one’s ever safe,” Luke said.

“And you expect me to sleep with those words ringing in my ears?”

“I didn’t mean—”

“I know.”

“We’re safe here, for the moment, I promise,” he reassured her. “Let me be the one to worry for once, Jack, just me. I’ll keep watch and you can sleep for as long as you like.”

She could see nothing through the dark of the night except for a shaft of moonlight illuminating the windshield, but she knew he was right. They’d found an old, roofless barn in the middle of nowhere. After checking it out, they hadn’t found a single dropping or pus stain. If zombies had been in the barn, it hadn’t been for many, many months. Still, safety was relative. They were okay for a handful of hours. Five being the limit they’d set between them. After that it was a question of moving onto the next safe spot they could find. Moving was good, Jackson thought. Staying in one place for too long was too much temptation. It became too easy to lure oneself into a false sense of security. Like Luke with the bunker, like her stepping out of the car like she was on a fucking country jaunt!

She aghast as she remembered how happy she’d been, how it hadn’t even fucking occurred to her to do a security sweep! How stupid. How ridiculous. It was like walking up the steps of the skyscraper all over again. Only this time she’d been thrumming with desire, exhilarated and happy and stupid. So stupid.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she whispered. “I’m used to this stuff.”

“Not this you’re not.”

“I am,” she insisted. “I’ve squatted in rotting Dumpsters for hours on end to hide from them, surrounded by smells the likes of which I’ve never known. I’ve stood on a tiny ledge, eight stories up, in the pouring rain for more than fifteen hours because the zombies were all over the building. One time I had the flu, though how you can still get it when there’s no other people around, I don’t fucking know, and I spent a week shivering in an abandoned mine. It was the only shelter for miles and it looked as though the roof was going to cave in at any moment. I was so ill I didn’t care. Truthfully, part of me wanted it to. At least then it would all be done with.”

“Jack…”

“I’m not telling you this as some sort of pity party,” she said. “I’m just trying to explain that this is my world. I live it. I shouldn’t be feeling like this.”

“Maybe for once you should just feel it?” he suggested. “You’re far too contained, Jack. Talk to me, lean on me. I’m here for whatever you need.”

“I need…” She paused and tried to untangle her thoughts, because in that moment as Luke continued to stroke her palm, his words soft in her mind, she knew exactly what she did need. It seemed obvious now. Like the thought had been teasing her for days and was now clarified. But how the hell would Luke react?

“Whatever you need, you know it’s yours,” he said and her heart thumped wildly.

She needed Luke. She needed his arms around her and his lips on hers. It was as simple as that. The last couple of weeks, every touch, every smile, had shown her that he was just right for her in every way, and though marriage and babies and happily ever afters were things that no longer existed—because who the hell would take the risk—there was nothing stopping them finding some enjoyment in each other, was there? To seize the moment and hold it? And she needed it. Damn, did she need it. After Tye, the bunker, the dead horde, and the out-of- nowhere zombie, she wanted to lose herself in the pleasure she instinctively knew Luke could give her. To forget for just a few hours that the whole damn world had fallen apart. That they could be minutes from their deaths, mere moments from the end of everything.

“I want you Luke,” she said softly.

His head snapped around so fast Jackson worried he’d given himself whiplash.

“You serious?” he asked.

“Aren’t I always?”

A moment passed and the intense light in Luke’s eyes was enough to tell her he would not deny her.

“I’ve wanted you since the first moment we met,” he admitted. “When you were in your purple panties.”

Warmth filled her then, banishing the chills and the odd feelings she did not want to name, and she held her breath as Luke reached forward and cupped her face. Maybe it was the last of the rush or maybe it was just him, but Jackson didn’t hesitate before wrapping her arms around Luke’s neck and tilting her head. He responded instantly, and once again his lips were on hers.

They were firm, yet so soft, and when his flesh pressed against hers she felt a shiver flow from her mouth, down her neck, before it wrapped itself around the base of her spine. They moved against one another, softly, exploring the taste and the feel, the sensation of unexpected contact. In that moment zombies no longer existed,