He felt her orgasm. Felt her muscles clenched around him, begging him to drive deeper. With one last thrust he did, coming, too. The amazing orgasm blocked everything but the feel of his body finally shooting into her, all the anger and stress pumping out, singeing his brain with endorphins.
For one perfect moment nothing existed in Luke’s mind but the pleasure Jackson gave him, and the pleasure he gave her. They held on to one another, their breathing ragged, their hearts beating a steady tattoo in perfect unison.
And then it was over…and they looked into each other’s eyes, and they laughed.
Chapter Twenty-two
“So planning to have your way with me every night, are you?” Luke asked.
From her position on the passenger seat, with her legs draped over him, the morning sun lighting up the barn, Jackson smiled. “Probably.”
“You’ll wear me out.”
“Of course I will.”
He smiled too. They both did. Their smiles egged each other on, and it was ridiculous but Jackson felt happy. Happy! An emotion she’d long since relegated to the scrap heap. Maybe it was due to the orgasm? It had been pretty incredible, and with it, Jackson had felt months of tension drain from her shoulders—not completely of course, but the amount of drainage was good. All due to the endorphins. Something she’d been sadly lacking for so long.
“I’m on top next time,” he said. “I am the man after all. I should get some control over things.”
The smile creased his face, and his very blue eyes twinkled. Jackson thought for the millionth time how she’d have totally dated him pre-dead people. If she’d served him a drink, or saw him in Macy’s she’d have done something. A hello, a smile, maybe he’d have offered her his number or taken hers. And they’d have dated, and then who knew what?
It pained her for a moment to think that Luke would never meet the woman she once was. Would never get to see what had been some of her best qualities. He’d gotten Jackson the independent bad-ass, not Jackson the smiling, carefree girl. The world did indeed suck at times.
“You let me have so little control over everything else.”
“You think?” she asked.
“I think…” He paused, his smile dying, to be replaced with something else. Something intense and Jackson found herself holding her breath. “I think I’m very lucky to have met you, Jack. That the way you make me feel is something pretty damn special. More so than before the zombies, because it is so unexpected now.”
Jackson sucked in a shocked breath. She hadn’t expected that. She’d expected them to tease and laugh with each other, not to talk about their feelings, but then hadn’t Luke been unexpected from the very beginning?
She shifted a little, not sure how she felt about the whole “bare all-athon.” It was way outside of her comfort zone and she didn’t quite know what to say.
“I—”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said quickly, as if, as always, he’d read her mind. “I’m not asking for a declaration here, babe. But time is so often…not short…but unknown, I guess. And if something were to happen to me, I want you to know that this past month has really been something.”
“Nothing will happen to you.” The very thought was enough for Jackson’s heart to clench in on itself and panic to wind its way up her spine. She couldn’t imagine the journey without Luke. Not now. Not when they were so close. It had been a mere blink in time, yet she felt like they’d spent months together. That they’d been watching each other’s backs forever. More than that though, she knew that the chances of getting to safety without him were slim, and even more than that, she didn’t want to. Going it alone now was not even an option. The reality of it scared her but it was there all the same.
“Nothing is allowed to happen to you,” she said slowly, forcing her mind around the thought of losing Luke like she had Tye, and though it made her feel awful for thinking it, she knew losing Luke would hurt much more. Tye had been her friend. He’d often annoyed the hell out of her but she had cared for him and had grieved for his loss. Wondered still where he might be. The way she felt about Luke was something else entirely. Jackson knew she wouldn’t be able to put him in the same compartment as the other companions she’d lost.
“We’re both going to get to Laredo. Safe and well.”
“We will,” he agreed.
“Well then. Don’t say things like that,” she chided.
“Jack—”
“It has been special to me too,” she said quickly. The words leaving her before she could even think to hold them back. Because Luke was right. Who really knew how much time they had? They could both be eaten today, or both be dead, properly dead, before tomorrow. Now, more than ever, was not a time to play games or to act coy. Now was the time to be honest. To put aside all the previous conditioning, simply accept the feelings, and then share them.
“I’ve felt more normal with you than I have with anyone,” she continued, blurting the words out. “Even though we’re not safe at all and the world’s a complete fuckup. But it’s not about proximity of the dead, or likelihood of being eaten. It’s just you. You make me feel like I’m the old me, at times, even though I’m not at all… Am I even making any sense?”
Luke nodded. “No. But yes. A contradiction, Jack. Which is what you are. One huge contradiction. The woman and the bad-ass. If I had weeks and weeks more, I don’t think I’d ever quite figure you out.”
“I like you a lot, Luke,” she said. “That’s all you need to figure.”
And he laughed before answering her in a solemn sort of voice. “I like you a lot, too, Jack.”
The happiness expanded then, until Jackson was sure it inhabited very pore of her being. She shook and shivered, shocked by it. The desire to be at the camp now, to have attained their goal assailed her, and she reached out to run a finger along Luke’s jaw line.
“My mom used to teach ballet classes,” she said softly. “She tried to teach me but I failed so bad. I could never get my head around the moves. She’d take me with her every single week, and even though I was so awful, she kept me there. In the end my dad had to have a quiet word with her and suggest that perhaps ballet was not my thing.”
“Jack,” Luke breathed. “You don’t have to—”
“I found out later,” she continued, taking a deep breath, “that she didn’t care I was so awful. She took me because she wanted there to be something we could share. My brothers went to kickboxing with my dad, they were awesome, and so she wanted this to be our thing.”
“And was it?” Luke asked.
Jackson smiled. “No. But that did not stop my mom. She was determined! She took me to God knows how many other classes, one after the other. We finally found one we both liked, and really, when you think about it, I have her to thank that I’m still alive.”
“What was it? The class?”
“Akido. I may have only spent a year or so doing it, I may have been a kid, but I think perhaps those moves came back to me when I most needed them. Almost like my mom was there protecting me. She died long before all of this, both my parents did.”
“She sounds like a remarkable woman,” Luke said.
“She’d still be alive,” Jackson whispered. “There’s no doubt in my mind about that. And she would have done whatever was necessary to find safety. She would not have stopped until she found a way to make everything right again.”
He reached out and took her hand, planting a little kiss on the palm. “You’re like her then.”
