personally.”
Adelaide put her feet back on the ground with a thud as she glanced between us. “Olivia?” Her voice was soft and timid, almost afraid to ask and yet needing to say what was on her mind. “Can I live with my Auntie Maddie?”
I nodded slowly. “That's up to Madeline,” I acknowledged. I wasn't sure what she felt up to now or in the future. Nearly two weeks ago she'd almost died. She looked to be in perfect health, but I couldn't be sure.
“I would love to have you come live with me, Adelaide,” Madeline smiled. “And anytime you want to come visit Olivia, I'm sure she'd like that too.”
“Can I?” Adelaide asked, glancing back towards me. “Can I come over and see you?”
“Of course.” I bent down to give the girl a hug. I glanced at Madeline. “Where are you staying?” I wanted to make sure Adelaide would be comfortable and well cared for.
“Chancellor Collins is putting me up in a house at the end of this block.” She gestured towards the left. “He's offered to assign someone to tutor Adelaide with schoolwork,” Madeline admitted. “He seems nice. Incredibly helpful. I hoped you might continue teaching her some basic self-defense after school? I heard she's pretty good with a Bo Staff.”
I smiled faintly, relieved she wasn't upset for what we'd already taught her. “Of course,” I nodded. “Come in.” I gestured, realizing I was being rude. “Everyone's been so supportive in providing us clothes and toys. You should take it all home with you,” I encouraged, walking up the stairs and hearing Adelaide's soft patter right behind me.
Between the three of us, we piled the clothes and toys together, and walked down the block to their new home. It wasn't much to carry but certainly much more than Adelaide had come to Shadow with. Helping Adelaide unpack in her new home, I already felt my heart tug, realizing I would miss her. Even though she was only a few yards away, it was still difficult knowing I wouldn't be the one tucking her into bed and keeping her safe. I had to trust that Madeline would do a decent job and in some ways it worried me.
Finally finishing unpacking, I headed for the door. Adelaide gave me the biggest hug. “Can I say goodbye to Joshua later?” she asked me. He hadn't been around that morning and I nodded, giving her a hug in return.
“Of course. I bet I'll see you both tonight at dinner.” I smiled, knowing we almost always ate in the cafeteria and I'd likely see Adelaide and Madeline in there if they joined us.
Adelaide grinned, waving as I walked outside. “I hope so!” She smiled, continuing to wave. “Bye Olivia!”
Already I missed her. I bit down on my bottom lip, trying to keep myself from crying. It was stupid. She was fine. She had a family that loved her. She didn't need me. It still hurt though. Watching her return home to a family she was a part of, I never expected. “Goodbye,” I whispered but the door had already closed behind me and I was halfway back home.
By the time I reached the front door, I was surprised to see Joshua inside. “What are you doing back already?” I wiped at the stray tear, not wanting him to see me upset.
“Taking a break from work,” he remarked. “Where's Adelaide? What's wrong?” He walked towards me, wrapping his arms around me as I moved my head to his neck, pulling him tight.
“She's with her family,” I whispered, trying to be happy. It wasn't easy.
“What do you mean, Olive?” His voice sounded wary. He pulled back, trying to stare at me.
“Her aunt, apparently she was one of the people I rescued from Thena. She's alive and fine.” I wiped the tears with the back of my hand. “I should be happy, I know,” I acknowledged. “Adelaide wanted to go home with her. I couldn't say no. I mean, she is her family. Besides, at least we can still visit her. She lives just down the street.” I tried to make light of the situation. I felt Joshua pull me towards the sofa as he sat down, bringing me onto his lap.
Joshua stared at me curiously. “Why didn't you mention this to me sooner?”
“Mention what?” My tears had dried but my heart was heavy. I rested my forehead against his, staring into his eyes.
I felt his hands moving down and across my back. “That her aunt was one of the people you rescued from Thena. Besides, I thought they both died?”
“Me too,” I sighed, leaning in and kissing him softly. Every ounce of me ached. I wanted to feel needed. I needed to feel loved. My lips moved over his hungrily and my fingers slid down his torso, finding the edge of his shirt and working my fingers beneath the material.
Joshua pulled back, resting a hand over mine. “Not like this, Olive,” he told me, shaking his head.
I nodded, knowing he was right. “Adelaide didn't see who we rescued. She couldn't have known her aunt was here. Besides—” I let out a heavy sigh, resting my forehead against his again. This time I closed my eyes. “She didn't exactly have any papers on her. There was no way to know who she was. Adelaide has her family back. She deserves to be happy,” I remarked.
I felt the pad of his thumb stroke my cheek as my eyes fluttered open. “So do you,” Joshua whispered. “Maybe it's better this way.” He tried to make sense of all that had happened. “We can't bring her with us across the country fighting the government. She needs a family here that can protect her.”
“I could have been that family,” I whispered. I knew Joshua was right. Shadow was going to expect something of me. They hadn't treated us with Mindonsiphan merely for fun. There were expectations we had to meet. A war was coming and they needed us to fight in it. We were trained soldiers and soon we'd be ready.
He kissed me softly, quieting me as we shifted on the sofa. I found the plush material against my back as he propped himself above me. My fingers reached his cheek, staring up at him. “You never told me why you were home early.” I needed a distraction.
“It doesn't matter.” He leaned down, kissing the pain away. “One day we'll start our own family,” he whispered between kisses. His warm breath tickled my skin and I felt my body flush as his lips found their way down to my neck.
“Josh,” I moaned as my palms moved across his back, pulling at his shirt, wanting to feel his skin, needing to feel more.
Our kisses were hot and fierce and finally Joshua pulled back, gasping for air. I didn't have to ask him why he stopped. We weren't like other couples. Maybe sex wasn't talked about, but it was only because there were no consequences of such actions for other people. We weren't so lucky. I couldn't risk getting pregnant. I didn't know what it would take, once or a hundred times, but we couldn't fall into our desires. Not now, not yet. It wasn't time.
As disappointed as I was that Joshua pulled away, I respected his decision and knew he was right. We needed to wait.
CHAPTER 12
It had been more than a month since Jaxon, Mason, and Margo left the rebel city in search of the outlying rebel cities of Torv and Spade. In just a few weeks so much had happened. We'd had a drone fly over our city and attack our allies. We'd managed a search and rescue mission with just two members of Shadow leading it and we'd saved three lives. If that wasn't enough excitement in Shadow, an outlaw had nearly found his way into town and another had been murdered just a few klicks from our home. After all that happened, I always kept my ear trained for drones. We never knew when our skies would turn deadly. Our lives seemed always to be at risk. It had become a familiar though unsettling feeling.
Today, Joshua, Hazel, and I trained. Hazel knew most of the aggressive moves. She hardly took it easy on us. It was tough training with Hazel but it was imperative we were skilled and could adapt to any situation. Besides, my understanding of the Mindonsiphan was you use it or lose it. If you didn't continue training and using your abilities for six months, the process would remain forever dormant. I wondered if it was true. Neither of us took the chance, spending nearly every waking hour practicing and studying our craft.
“So, when do we start using swords?” I joked, blocking Josh's blow with my right arm and slipping my leg beneath his, knocking him flat on his back.
Joshua grunted as he picked himself up. “I don't want to be around you with a sword.”
