I didn’t try to stop him. Either he’d see things my way, or I’d lost a friend. I didn’t have options this late in the game, and if he didn’t understand that, then I was better off without him.
Strange how that wasn’t sitting so well in my gut, though.
• • •
Josh didn’t call me that day. I knew it was hard for him to absorb all at once. I’d been living with it for ten years, and it was still hard for me.
But I was exhausted, mentally and physically. It was as if telling Josh had sucked all the energy out of my body. Normally I held it together pretty well, but by the time I got to work that evening, I was running on empty. I’d doubled my daily vitamins and sucked down an espresso on the way to the office, but I still felt tired as hell.
Which was why it took a moment for it to register when I sat down and noticed that Savannah Russell sat at Ryder’s desk, and Ellis Russell sat at Sara’s. I stared at them, frowned, and checked the calendar on my computer. I had the right day.
Oh, no. A sick feeling landed in the pit of my stomach. I rubbed my eyes. Was this a hallucination? Oh, God. It seemed so real. Anxiety fluttered through me, and I felt my jaw clenching in the onset of a panic attack. This was bad—
“There you are,” Sara said cheerfully, sticking her head out of Bathsheba’s small office. “Come here for a second.”
I walked carefully to the small office at the back. I was surprised to see Ryder inside, sitting across from Bathsheba.
“Good, everyone’s here now,” Bath said with a smile.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Girl’s night out. It’s time for a little team bonding. How do you feel about heading out to a bar and getting our drink on?”
I hesitated. I was exhausted, and with the cocktail of (rather useless) medications I was taking, I wasn’t supposed to really drink. “Who’s going to man the phones?”
Sara laughed. “Jeez, you are totally a zombie before you get a few cups of coffee in you. Didn’t you see Ellis and Savannah out there?”
So they were real? Oh, thank God. My knees felt weak with relief. I put on a big smile. “So where are we going?”
• • •
I stared at the tight, gleaming butt cheeks ten feet away and turned to glare at Ryder. “Who thought a strip bar was a good idea?”
Ryder sipped a margarita and pointed at Bathsheba. Bathsheba turned bright red and pointed at Sara.
I turned to my left. Grinning and shaking her ass to the thumping music, small, innocent Sara waved a five at a nearby dancer.
I stared at my watered-down hurricane. “I think I need to have what she’s having.”
“I think we all do,” Ryder said with a grin.
The wild, thumping beat made my eardrums want to explode. A new guy danced out onstage, dressed as a cowboy. Naturally. He wore a sparkling silver vest with lots of fringe and pants that I was sure were about two minutes away from being flung into someone’s face. Women crowded all around us in the club, shoving forward to look at the dancers, laughing and drinking.
“I thought it’d be fun to get out and unwind,” Bathsheba yelled as he began to dance. “I didn’t get a bachelorette party, and Sara thought this would be a good substitute. I never see you guys anymore, now that Beau and I got married.”
I was pretty sure it was more due to everyone’s life going to hell all at the same time, what with my disease, Sara’s coming out as a werewolf, and Ryder’s secret transformation into . . . whatever Ryder was.
“I think the timing has just been off for everyone,” I told Bath.
She looked relieved, and I immediately felt bad. I’d been a bridesmaid in her wedding a few weeks ago; I’d even caught the damned bouquet. Before she’d gotten married we’d chatted regularly, and while I wasn’t exactly the most open of friends, I considered her one.
It seemed like I’d been shutting everyone out lately.
“Heeeere,” Sara slurred, and shoved a five into my hand. “You’re supposed to be enjoying the dancers, silly. Go and enjoy that one.”
As if he could smell the money, the dancer ripped his pants off and grinned in my direction.
Ryder high-fived me.
“Why aren’t you up there shoving money into his pants?” I asked.
“Because I like to watch,” she told me with a feminine leer.
Sara wobbled past me and slapped a few ones into her sister’s hand. “Your turn!”
“Oh, I don’t know—” Bath began.
Sara rolled her eyes and tugged on her sister’s arm. “No take-backs.”
I watched in amusement as Sara dragged Bathsheba, protesting all the way, to the stage. As Sara bounced and danced to the beat, Bath stood as stiff as a totem pole. She quickly shoved her money at the dancer, then dragged her sister away.
Our boss wasn’t half the fun-loving drunk that her sister was.
Bath deposited Sara in the chair next to me. “I’m heading to the bar to get more drinks. Watch her for me, or she’s going to run out of money.”
Sure enough, Sara had pulled out her wallet and was digging out a few more dollars.
Ryder just grinned. “That’s kind of the point, isn’t it?”
Yeah, but Sara had an enormous, rather possessive boyfriend. I placed a hand over Sara’s, stopping her.
Sara snarled at me, wolflike.
“Save it for the next dancer,” I told her. “I heard he’s really hot.” I hadn’t heard any such thing, but she was too tipsy to figure that out.
She nodded, leaving her money on the table and sucking the last bit of alcohol out of her glass.
“Well, this was unexpected,” Ryder told me, leaning in to yell in my ear as the bass line thumped again. “Seems like alcohol makes one sister a wild woman and the other one even more of a prude.”
“I heard that,” Sara said on the other side of me.
Ryder just grinned and got up to tuck a dollar into the overflowing G-string of the man gyrating onstage.
I watched him dance, mentally comparing his body to Joshua’s. The man onstage was a big, muscled slab of meat. Josh was muscular, but he was leaner. He had big shoulders but didn’t carry his weight like a bodybuilder. The dancer turned, flexing rock-hard buns, and Sara whooped at the display.
Those were indeed tight buns. I wondered how tight Josh’s ass was in comparison. The man onstage was tanned a rather dark orange, which was unattractive. He was also greased up, and his long hair was pulled into a slicked-down ponytail. It made me appreciate Josh’s clean, if short, hair.
The dancer rocked his hips, thrusting repeatedly, and the crowd went wild. My fantasizing of Josh took an abruptly dirty turn and I shook my head to clear it, reaching for my almost-untouched drink.
“Sooo,” Sara said, leaning over my shoulder.
I glanced over at her.
She nodded at my drink. “You gonna drink that?”
“I was,” I said in a dry voice, but I handed it to her anyhow. “You’re having fun.”
She shrugged, taking my straw in hand and raising it to her mouth. Then she sniffed and gave me a perplexed look. Before I could ask, she leaned in and sniffed me. “Why do you smell like Josh?”
A hot, humiliated blush crossed my face. Thank goodness the strip club was dark. “I’m pretty sure I don’t.”
“I may be drunk, Marie Bellavance,” she said with a wag of her finger at me, “but my nose isn’t. And it definitely smells a horny were-cougar on you.”
