He gave a short, jerky nod and turned to go out the door. He and Ramsey had a shoving match on the way out, and I suspected it’d turn into a full-out brawl when they got outside.
Sara calmly shut the door behind them and turned back to me. I noticed her smell, light and sweet, with a hint of some kind of animal that I didn’t recognize.
“Now,” she said firmly as she sat on the bed next to me. “I want you to tell me if you’re really okay. Did he hurt you?”
I stared at her, wide-eyed. “Hurt me?”
“I’ve never thought Josh would be the kind to turn a girl against her will, but you never know. What happened?” Sara’s mouth thinned with displeasure.
I shook my head. “You’re misunderstanding. I asked him to turn me, Sara. I . . . I have a disease. It’s killing me.”
Her face softened with understanding—and chagrin. “Oh, Marie. I’m sorry. I just . . . ” She looked a bit embarrassed. “I guess I jump to conclusions when I see a girl in a bad situation. My hackles get raised and I get defensive. I’m sorry to accuse Josh.”
“It’s okay. He’s been great through this. Really.”
Sara snapped her fingers, eyes lighting up as something occurred to her. “Wait. Is this why you were looking for a vampire?”
I gave her a bitter smile. “Ironic, huh?” I told her about Andre and about Lily, who was still sequestered here. “At first I wouldn’t let Josh turn me. Not after what happened with the tiger clan and the girl. I couldn’t do that to him. I love him.” My voice cracked on the confession. “But when we realized the vampire wasn’t going to turn me . . . ”
“He stepped in because he’s got a massive case of white knight syndrome.” Sara patted my shoulder. “It’s okay, Marie. Just relax. Now listen: when I was turned, I didn’t have anyone to teach me, either. These born shifters aren’t the greatest teachers, because they’re so used to it. Well, except Ramsey. He’s good at that, but he’s good at everything that requires patience and skill.” As I watched her, a blush colored her cheeks. “Anyhow. I’m going to be here with you, and I’m going to walk you through it, okay? Just don’t fight the change. Fighting it is the worst thing you can do.”
“Don’t fight it. Got it,” I said, just as another set of jaw-cracking muscle spasms ripped through me again.
Sara waited until those were done, and when I was panting for breath once more, she leaned in and patted my shoulder. “So, let’s talk about Kegels.”
“Kegels?” I repeated, not sure I’d heard her correctly.
“Yup. I swear, they’re useful.”
• • •
A few hours later, I was a cougar. The change hadn’t been swift, but Sara had gently talked and soothed me through the process, telling me all about her own trouble points with shifting, and how focusing my inner muscles would speed things along. Kegels, she’d said cheerfully, just like another wolf had told her.
So when my inner muscles had been all flexed and ready to go, I’d begun to sink into the next wave of muscle cramps, mentally encouraging and centralizing.
After that, it hadn’t been nearly as bad. My body had sleeked into that of a dun-colored cat, with a small, rounded head and long tail. The hated metal collar had fallen off with my transformation, and I studied my paws and my tail with surprise. My senses were wildly different as a cat, too, the scents almost distracting in their strength. Sara’s scent no longer smelled clean, either. It smelled like wolf. I hissed and was immediately embarrassed.
“There, there, kitty,” she said with a grin. “You’ll get used to the big bad wolf here eventually. We’ll shift together for the next few weeks until you get the hang of it.”
I paced around the bedroom, trying out walking on all fours. I’d expected my body to feel weirdly out of balance, but everything made sense, oddly enough. Even my tail seemed to have a life of its own, lashing and smacking the wall as I lowered my head and scented the floorboards. So many people’s scents were here. Everything was just . . . overwhelming.
I thumped to the ground, suddenly exhausted.
“It’s okay,” Sara said, coming to my side. Her fingers moved along my head, and she scratched behind my cat ear. To my surprise, the sensation was wonderful—I hadn’t realized how itchy it had been until then, and I leaned into her fingers. “After you’ve had a little time to get adjusted, we’ll go outside and you can run for a bit.”
I tried to reply, but it came out as a weird coughing noise.
She grinned. “Just nudge me with your nose if you understand.”
I did.
Sara gave me one more pat, then got to her feet, stretching. “I’m going to run down and get a drink of water. You stay here and relax for a few, and when I come back, we’ll take a walk around the house.”
We did a walk around the house, and up and down the stairs. I caught all the different scents as we walked, Sara chatting up a storm next to me. The older scents of Everett, Ellis, and Austin. Lily’s unwashed scent from her room.
But Josh was nowhere to be found, and neither was Ramsey.
I wanted to ask where they were, but I couldn’t. My cat form was many things, but it wasn’t vocal.
When we’d finished pacing the house, I allowed Sara to lead me upstairs. “You’re probably getting tired,” she told me. “It’s been a long day. Lie down and take a nap; being a shifter can take a lot out of you.”
I couldn’t say that I wasn’t able to nap, so I figured I’d just lie down for a bit and rest.
But when I laid my head down, I immediately fell asleep.
• • •
I woke up, startled to find that it was dark outside. I sat upright, fumbling over my paws and ungainly body. Still a cougar, then. I was alone in the room, Sara’s scent now fainter. Had I been asleep for long? I rose and stretched.
The next moment, my body shivered and my muscles revolted, shuddering hard. I braced myself for the change back to human—and then stopped. Bracing myself was what had caused the problems before. Instead, I thought of Sara’s calm, easy words and let the changes ripple back over me.
The change back to human didn’t take very long at all. It was painful and messy, but it only took a matter of minutes before I was collapsed on the wood floor, gasping, in my own body again. I touched my skin, marveling to see that no trace of cougar fur or claw remained.
How marvelous.
There came a soft knock at the door, and I caught Sara’s scent a moment before she spoke. “It’s me. Can I come in?”
I moved to the bed to grab the sheet to cover me. For some reason . . . the bed was made. When had that happened? I pulled the sheet off and wrapped it around my body. “Come in.”
Sara poked her head in and beamed at me. The scent of wolf filled my nostrils. “Oh, good, you’re awake. And back to normal, I see.”
I rubbed my bleary eyes, then wondered how well I would see with my new eyesight. I squinted at Sara’s face, then sighed and reached for my glasses. Nearsighted as a human, perfect vision as a were-cougar. Guess you couldn’t have everything. “It’s all me again, yeah. Thanks for talking me through it.”
She grinned, sauntering in. “Yeah, men see a woman in pain and they flip out. Sometimes you need another calm presence nearby. I’m just glad I could help.”
Speaking of . . . “Where’s Josh?”
Her smile was a little too bright to be natural. “He’ll be along shortly.”
I nodded, then glanced at the room. “Um, have you seen my clothes?”
She snapped her fingers. “Oh. I had them laundered for you yesterday. Just a sec.”
Yesterday?
She left before I could ask her.
I glanced at the window, but it was dark.
Sara returned a minute later and presented me with my clothing, neatly folded. “No detergent, since that
