I didn’t see Trey anywhere. I guessed he was probably in his bedroom, giving us some privacy or something.
Monica sat on the couch. “Okay, sit and spill. You don’t just call a girl at eleven o’clock and say you need someone to talk to without it being something big.”
I sat down, the leather sofa molding around my body like butter. It was way more comfortable than the thing Monica had to sit on in her apartment. Even more comfortable than my Craigslist couch. I should have gotten the name of Trey’s decorator.
“Okay, so I was stupid and went to a party at the Alpha Mu house, because John invited me.”
Monica rolled her eyes. “Ugh, the stoplight party?”
“Yeah. That one.”
She raised an eyebrow. And did he wear green?
“No.” I sighed. “He said he was going to wear black, so I made this stupid comment that I would wear white, but that’s not the point of the story.”
“Okay, sorry. I’ll stop interrupting.” She blinked hard and stared at me.
I glanced down at my fingers, unsure if I could actually look at her when I told her what happened. She warned me that he was a manwhore. I should have listened to her. Even when she said it was fine to date him, she probably didn’t mean it. She wasn’t being a bitch. She knew this would happen. “So, I went to the party, like I said and his little brother—“
“Short Stack?” Monica interrupted.
I looked up at her and she held up her hands. “Sorry, I know interrupting.”
“Yes. Short Stack. He took me upstairs to find John.” I let out a deep breath and recounted the rest of it very quickly, everything from hearing the music, to the brunette, and running out of the house with John yelling after me.
When I was done Monica stared at me with her eyes wide. “That little prick. I can’t believe he would do that to you.”
“Obviously some people didn’t believe he should be with me.”
Monica shook her head. “Look, what I said about you and him before, it was because I didn’t want you to get hurt. Not because I didn’t think you were good enough for him.”
“No, not you.” I picked at the skin under my fingernails for something to do with my hands. “Some girls at the party didn’t know I was there and were talking about me. Saying that they didn’t know what a guy like John was doing with me and making fun of the way I dress and such.”
Monica furrowed her eyebrows. “Who were these girls?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Just some random party girls that were waiting in line for the bathroom.”
Monica put her hands on mine, stopping my fingers from moving. “Then why does it matter what they think? They’re nobody.”
She was right, of course. It shouldn’t matter what some random girls that I didn’t know thought of me. Yet I did care and I cared even more that some random girl was giving John a lap dance.
“It’s just...I thought we had something.”
Monica rubbed her arms up and down her legs. “Seriously, every time I’ve seen John Boy he has been with a different girl. He’s not the settling down type. You don’t need someone like that in your life if he’s just going to bring you down.”
“But I do need him.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Why? Why would you need a guy? Unless you went to Student Health Services and you already know that you’re carrying a little John Boy bun in your oven.”
I felt the tears prick my eyes. It was now or never that I had to be honest with Monica. “No, that’s the problem. I did go to Student Health Services to get an exam.” I looked her right in the eye, my vision blurring with tears. “They found cancer cells on my cervix. I was at John’s when I got the call.”
Monica gasped, putting her hands over her mouth. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry! When did you find out?” She put her hands down.
“Student Health Services called and told me on Wednesday. I had to go to a doctor here in town yesterday to get a biopsy done and John took me. Then afterwards we watched Harry Potter and he made me cheesecake.”
Monica shook her head. “I don’t know what part of that statement confuses me more. That he took you to the doctor or that he baked for you.”
I sniffled. “Yeah, that’s what confused me too. I thought we had something. But now I’m afraid he just did all of that because he felt sorry for me. Not because he wanted to be with me.”
“Come here.” Monica held out her arms and I let my body collapse into them. I was tired of crying, but I buried my head in her shoulder and hugged her back. I needed the comfort. I needed to finally let all of the feelings inside of me come to the surface.
Chapter 11
It felt good to finally tell Monica what was going on. She said that she would take me to my follow up appointment, so I wouldn’t have to walk there in the cold, November weather. Or beg John.
Since I wasn’t working until later the next day and I didn’t want to look through my texts or get online just to have John message me, I finally decided to look through the pamphlet that the nurse gave me.
“Human Papilomavirus,” I said out loud. The pamphlet was maroon with pictures of women of different ages and races, all smiling. Like it was something to be happy about. I flipped open the first page. “What is HPV, got that. How do people get it? Passed through sex. Anal, vaginal, oral, or any genital contact. Early on, cervical cancer may not cause signs and symptoms. A person can still have HPV even if it’s been years since they have had sexual contact.”
Huh. I’d only had sex with exactly one person in my life and gotten past the rest of the bases a few times. Could I have gotten it from my high school boyfriend? He did cheat on me when he went to college, but I wondered if there were other girls. I didn’t think that would give me a disease. I didn’t always use condoms with Robby. Especially not with oral. I shuddered at the thought. I was so upset about John being a manwhore and I was the one with the disease. I felt like the biggest hypocrite in the world.
My phone was sitting next to me on the couch. There were a few missed text messages from Monica and one from John that I didn’t have the heart to open. But there was something else on my phone. Robby, my high school boyfriend’s, number was still in it. I didn’t know why I kept it. We broke up over a year ago. We weren’t even Facebook friends anymore. But for some reason, I felt the strongest urge to talk to him. Before I could chicken out, I dialed his number.
“Hey, this is Rob. What up?”
Rob? No one ever called him Rob. He had been Robby since kindergarten.
“Um, hey, ROBBY, this is Melanie. Melanie Wilder.”
“Mells Bells? Haven’t heard from you in awhile. What’s going on?” He said it casually as if it was just a normal day. Like the last time I saw him wasn’t when a pretty redhead was going down on him in his dorm room. Would I head down the same path if I stayed with John? Tears threatened my eyes as I thought about how mortified I was to see the guy I was with forever cheating on me. It felt just as bad to see John with another girl. Not saying I was in love with John, but it hurt to think someone was willing to give up his manwhorish ways, be there for me, and then he wasn’t.
“Nothing too big. You know, working, classes, cancer.” I said the whole thing as if it were nothing. Like I would just tell my former boyfriend about cancer any day. I didn’t know why it came out like that, but it did. Like word vomit.
“What the hell, Mel? Did you just say cancer?” His voice slightly squeaked, like it used to do when he was nervous.
“Yeah. Cervical Cancer. HPV to be exact. Have you heard of it?”
“Aw, shit you have AIDS? Who the hell did you get with after me?” His voice now took on an accusatory
