I blinked hard. I didn’t even know what I could say to that. She was right, of course. But I would never let her know that. “Will you excuse me?” I put my fork and napkin down and went into the bathroom, my only room with a door. I turned the water on in the sink and slid down to the floor, finally letting the tears fall from my eyes. So what if I was having a pity party and I needed to cry? I couldn’t do it in front of Mom and Valerie anymore. My life was a mess and maybe I was burying myself, but I didn’t know what else to do.
A knock came at the door. “Mel? I know you aren’t just letting the water run in there for no reason, so you’d better let me in before your bill skyrockets.” Val’s voice carried through the door.
“No.” I sniffled. “I’m fine. Just go back to eating.”
She opened the door anyway. I should have locked it, but I wasn’t thinking, dammit. I didn’t look up at her, but I heard her shut the door and then slump down on the floor next to me. The bathroom wasn’t that big so we were literally squished between the shower and the toilet like two sardines.
She let out a heavy breath. “I’m sorry about that, Mel. I just got really pissed off. I shouldn’t have blown up on you like that. You’ve been under enough stress and you don’t need to deal with more of it.”
I shook my head slowly. “No. I’m sorry for being a brat.”
She leaned her head against mine. “Look at us, hanging out in the bathroom while Mom sits out there with dinner. I feel like we’re both trying to get ready to go out to a football game or something like when we lived at home.”
I sniffled. “Yeah, that sucked having only one bathroom.”
“It really wasn’t that bad, and I got to spend more time with you. If we didn’t have to share that bathroom we probably wouldn’t have talked half as much as we did.”
I sighed. “Then you got the scholarship here and you left me with Mom and Dad.”
“Hey, I wasn’t going to stick around with that train wreck, and I knew you were strong. You’re a survivor, Mel. You always have been. You’ve been through more shit than any other girl I know and you’ve lived through it: our parents’ divorce, Robby’s cheating, and getting through college without any financial help. You’re going to live through this cancer, too.” She squeezed my hand. “And if nothing really does happen with you and John, you’re going to survive that as well. You’ve never needed a guy to define you. You’re your own person and Melanie Wilder you have done a damn good job taking care of yourself the past nineteen years.”
“Thanks, Val. You haven’t done so bad either.”
“We should probably get out of here before Mom thinks you either died or have massive diarrhea or something.”
I wrinkled my nose as I got to my feet. “Gross.”
“Hey, just stating what she’s probably thinking.”
We both left the bathroom, a lot better off than when we went in. I finally sat down and had Thanksgiving dinner with my family and didn’t complain anymore about cancer or boys and just enjoyed the two amazing women in my life.
Chapter 18
Mom left early the next morning and Val struggled with whether or not to leave.
“Are you sure you don’t need me? You feel well enough?”
“I swear, Val. I’m fine.” I’d told her over and over that I was feeling better. I had gone awhile without ice and even weaned myself off of the pain pills. I’d be ready to go back to school and work on Monday.
“Are you fine or is it because that fine ass boy of yours is coming back to school and you want to be alone?”
I rolled my eyes. It was true that John was coming back in town, but it’s not like there would be anything that we would be doing that would require alone time. My discharge sheet was very clear that I shouldn’t have sex until four weeks after the procedure. Not that I thought I would be having sex with John, but at least the option was there.
“He’s coming over when he gets back in and settled. But that doesn’t mean you have to leave. I’m sure we could all hang out.”
Valerie held up her hands. “Whoa, I’m not into a sisterly threesome.”
I gently punched her arm. “You’re so gross!”
“Oh come on! You’d be laughing if John said it and you
“Oh please. Don’t pity party the pity partier. I will out pity you in a heartbeat!”
She clasped her hands together in a pose like a duck’s beak and made it talk. “Blah, blah feel sorry for me. I have a hot man who loves me and my cancer and is going to lick me like a lollipop when he gets here. Blah blah blah”
I put my hands in the same mocking position, flipping my hair back in the process. “Blah, blah, I have an awesome job in Chicago and no student loans. Poor me.”
Valerie put her hand down. “Touche. You win this round, pity partier.”
“I’ll let you win the next one.”
She shook her head. “Ahh, you’re a crazy little sister, but I love you.” She opened her arms and I gladly gave her a hug.
“I love you too, Val.”
She released me from the hug and then looked me in the eye, keeping her hands on my shoulders. “Keep in touch, okay? I’ll be back in a few weeks to get you for Christmas, but I don’t want that to be the only time we talk. Keep me in the loop. Even if you are just telling me how awesome John is.”
“I will, Val, I promise.”
“Good.” She nodded and squeezed my shoulder before she let go and grabbed her rolling suitcase. “I’ll talk to you soon, Mel. Bye.”
“Bye, Val.”
I walked her to the front door and then collapsed on my couch. As nice as it was to have Val and Mom helping out, it was great to finally have the apartment to myself.
I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the wall. I thought maybe I could get a nap in or just veg, or maybe even get in some late Black Friday shopping, but then my phone vibrated next to me. I picked it up and saw John’s face smiling back at me. He was calling? Not a text? Confused, I slid my phone unlocked. “Hello?”
“Hey, Red. Are you busy?”
“No. Valerie just left a little bit ago. Do you need something?”
He let out a breath that made a crackling sound into the phone. “Yeah, actually. This is really awkward, but the water is out at the house and I thought I could just get there early and shower before I saw you, but I can’t. So, long story short, can I shower at your place?”
Shower at my place? My mind wandered, thinking about John’s naked body. How the water would drip off of his hair and down his abdominal line. I had to shake the thoughts out of my head because I didn’t want to make myself crazy without even touching the guy.
“Yeah, of course it’s fine after all you’ve done for me.”
“Cool. Sorry to put you out like this, but I promise to take you out to dinner to make up for it.”
“Dinner?” I blinked.
“Yeah. If I’m going to use you for your water, the least I can do is let you use me for food.”
“Okay. That works for me.”
Shower and dinner with John? Black Friday wasn’t looking so black.
It was less than ten minutes before John was knocking at my door. I’d lived most of the week in sweat pants with no makeup and even though he’d seen me like that, I still wanted to look a little bit decent. I slipped into a pair of jeans and a knit sweater before putting on a few coats of mascara and some lip gloss.
