“You’re here. You’re really here,” I whispered.
“Of course I’m here, Red.” He ran his fingers along my jawline. “Now tell me what you need.”
“Sleep. And ice on my hoo haa.” I closed my eyes and buried my face in the pillow. My pillow to be exact. I knew that because it didn’t smell sterile like the hospital pillows or like John, so it had to be mine.
His laugh tickled my cheek. “Valerie, I think you can handle the ice part.”
“Will do,” Valerie said. “Can you just help me get her up? I know it’s weird, but you can go after I get her to the bathroom and Mom can help me.”
“Are you sure? I can stay as long as you need me to.”
All I wanted to do was sleep, but I couldn’t stop listening to their conversation. My eyes wouldn’t open, but I tried to keep my ears open and fight the sleep that was overcoming me.
“No, you probably need to get home to your family.” My body was lifted off of the bed, and then I was on my feet.
“I’ll stay here as long as she needs me to.”
Valerie’s laugh tickled my hair. “For a guy that’s not her boyfriend, you’re doing a damn good job of taking care of her.”
“Sometimes you don’t need a title to show that you care about someone.”
I tried to listen, but the longer I stood the more I drifted.
“I think she fell back asleep,” Valerie’s voice traveled over me.
“I’ll put her back in bed.”
My body was lifted in the air and then back onto my bed as if the movements were effortless. I could have dreamed the whole encounter, but it was a dream that I never wanted to wake up from.
Chapter 17
My eyes opened to darkness and the sound of my mother snoring in the living room. I moaned and tried to get up, but all I managed to do was turn to my side and then groan when a shooting pain between my legs made me see stars. I closed my eyes hard and bit down on my lip so I wouldn’t scream.
“Hey, are you okay? Do you need a pain pill?” Valerie was at my side, turning on the lamp on my nightstand, with a glass of water and a giant white pill in her hand.
I nodded and slowly, very slowly sat up. My body felt like it had been stuffed in a suitcase all day and it was hard to even stretch out. “Thanks,” I said before downing the pill and the water.
“Here, you better eat something with that. These are pretty potent pills.” Valerie handed me some graham crackers. I didn’t eaten all day and didn’t have much of an appetite so I just stared at them.
“I’m going to sit here until you eat these. So you’re either going to eat them or it’s going to be a long night,” she said, no nonsense written all over her face.
“Fine. Fine.” I rolled my eyes and took a small bite of the cracker.
“How are you feeling? You’ve been pretty out of it.”
“Like someone took a laser to my lady bits.” I said it without any humor and took another bite of graham cracker.
“Ha, well they kind of did.”
“I didn’t say anything too stupid while I was loopy, did I?”
“You did keep telling your hot, non-boyfriend that he smelled really good.”
I blinked. “So he really did stick around?”
“Uh, yeah,” Valerie spoke in a valley girl-like voice. “For not being your boyfriend, the guy seems really into you. He even carried you into your apartment and to the bathroom a few times for me to change that giant ice diaper.”
“Seriously?” I widened my eyes. I thought he’d seen me at my worst, but now the guy was carrying me around when I was out of it and had to take me to the bathroom. There was no way he was ever going to think of me as more than the broken girl.
“I wouldn’t lie to you about something like that. Even Mom was impressed with him. You should probably try to not fuck things up with this one.”
I rolled my eyes. “Val, I’m not going to fuck things up more than they already are. We aren’t together. He just feels sorry for me.”
“Will you cut that out?” Val’s words stopped me. Her normally perky voice turned sharp and got my attention. “You’re always getting down on yourself. Just because that loser, Robby, cheated on you and Dad was a jerk, doesn’t mean that every guy is going to be like them.”
I shook my head. “Valerie, you don’t understand. This guy is a walking one night stand. He’s been with a lot of girls and I even caught another girl giving him a lap dance in his room.”
“Seriously? Maybe you don’t know what you saw. Maybe the girl wanted him and he was trying to get away,” she said, half shocked and half defending.
I narrowed my eyes. “Don’t defend him. You weren’t there.”
Valerie raised her hands. “Hey, you’re the one that said you two weren’t dating. I’m just trying to get the facts straight.”
I sighed. “Val, I’m just trying to get through this cancer stuff right now. I don’t want to keep thinking about what me and John are or what we aren’t. I’ve got enough complications.”
“Okay.” Val nodded and then kissed my forehead. “I was just trying to keep your mind off of things. But I’ll let you get back to sleep.”
The rest of the week I was stuck in the same routine. I’d wake up, take a pain pill, and then go back to bed. I felt like I was in some sort of old folks’ home and had to be taken care of 24/7. John texted me quite a bit from home and Monica was sporadic with her texts, mainly because she was staying with the Chapmans for Thanksgiving and was nervous as hell around Trey’s family. She promised that she’d be back after Thanksgiving to tell me all about it.
My family was never really big on holidays. My dad was an only child whose parents spent a lot of time in Florida and my mom’s family didn’t really do much. Thus, I didn’t feel like I was missing out by not having a big Thanksgiving. It was one day that Mom didn’t actually have to work, so she came to my apartment, carrying an already prepared Thanksgiving meal from the grocery store that she set up on my coffee table.
“It’s nothing fancy, but it’s not like we’re fancy people,” Mom said, jokingly, but there was a hint of sadness to it. This wasn’t our first Thanksgiving without dad, but it still felt like there was something missing but none of us wanted to say it. I didn’t think Mom even talked to him anymore. He probably had no idea about my cancer and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell him. I didn’t know if I wanted to open that can of worms.
“So, how have you been feeling, Mel? Do you think you’re going to be able to go back to school on Monday?”
I spooned some turkey onto my plate. My appetite didn’t really come back, but Valerie was always making sure I was eating so I didn’t throw up my pain pills. “I think so. I have to go back to work as well, so I’d better be.”
“Geez, you just had some major surgery here, can’t they give you a break?” Valerie asked.
“Sorry, not all of us got a scholarship for college,” I muttered.
Valerie dropped her fork on the table, which would have made a bigger impact if it wasn’t plastic. “Seriously, Melanie, get over yourself.”
“Excuse me?” I looked at my sister, who had her fists clenched on the table.
“Valerie, stop. Let’s just have a nice dinner,” Mom said, putting her hand on Valerie’s arm.
Valerie shrugged off Mom’s hand. “No. I’m tired of this. I’ve been here taking care of you all week, Mel, and listening to you bitch.” She let out a deep breath. “Yes, it sucks that you have cancer, but look at all the awesome things you have. You have a mother and sister who love you and one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen cares about you so much. I don’t know if you’re too blind to see it or you just think you’re going to get hurt, but you have to get out of this rut, Mel or you’re going to bury yourself.”
