“Yes, good luck, Melanie,” Trey said, before he took Monica’s hand and they walked out of the room.
“Are they engaged yet?” Mom asked.
“Mom, they just started dating. Not everyone gets married right away,” I said. At least the scrutiny was off of me.
“They will,” John said in a low voice.
Valerie turned and looked at John. “Do you know something that we don’t?”
He shrugged. “It’s just obvious. That’s all. When you care a lot about someone, it happens.” His eyes nervously searched the room, briefly falling on mine before he looked down.
The room stayed silent for what seemed like forever until my mom broke the silence. “Okay, we’ll step outside the curtain here and let you get ready.”
“Sounds good.” Mom, Valerie, and John stepped outside of the curtain. I thought John would follow Monica and Trey to the waiting room, but when the nurses opened the curtain, he was still there.
He stayed while the nurses hooked me up to IVs and asked me medical questions. He leaned against the wall, not saying a word, as they told me what would happen in the procedure. Mom sat in the chair next to me, holding my hand and Valerie stood on the other side of the bed. I felt like I was being wheeled to my death, like this was the last time they’d see me. Mom didn’t cry, but I could see that she wanted to. I was trying to be the strong one. To not think about what was going to happen to me.
“Mom, it’s going to be okay. I’m going to be okay,” I said to her in almost a whisper. Whatever medication they gave me was starting to kick in and I started to drift off to sleep.
“Yes you are, Mel.” She patted my hand.
“People survive this all the time. I’m going to survive. We’re survivors. You and me.”
“I hope so, baby. I just wish I could have been here for you. Took you to your doctor’s appointments. Asked them questions. The only thing I know about any of this is what you told me and what I found online.” I could see the tears welling in her eyes, which didn’t help the ones I was trying to hold back.
“You’ve always done what’s best for me, Mom. Even when you didn’t think you did. I’m glad that I had friends to take me to those appointments and there’s nothing more you could have done.”
“But I could have been here. I could have held your hand. I could have...” her voice caught in her throat as tears streamed her cheeks.
I squeezed her hand. “You did everything just fine, Mom. I’m going to make it through this. We’re going to make it through this.”
When Dr. Rodriguez came in, dressed in blue scrubs, everyone stood up. My mom and Valerie wiped the tears from their eyes and put on a brave face, even though I knew both of them were just as scared as I was. Maybe even more.
“Good morning, Melanie,” she said in her thick accent.
“Morning,” I said, groggily. The medication was really kicking in now and I could barely form sentences.
“We’re going to get you wheeled into surgery now, so I’m just going to ask your family to head over to the waiting room.”
“Okay Dokay,” I mumbled.
“How long will it take? What should we expect next? What if this doesn’t work?” My mom fired off question after question.
Dr. Rodriguez turned toward my mom. “I assume you’re Mrs. Wilder? Yes?”
Mom nodded.
Dr. Rodriguez offered her a warm smile. “The surgery should be less than an hour, but then she’ll be in recovery for a few hours after. We’ll alert you when we have wheeled her into recovery. I’ll do a biopsy after we remove the cancerous cells and then another one in a few weeks after she’s healed. If there aren’t any more cancerous cells, nothing further needs to be done.
“And if the surgery doesn’t work? If she still has cancer?” Mom raised her eyebrow, her voice getting farther and farther away, but I fought my drifting, waiting to hear the doctor’s answer.
“Then we’ll talk about other options such as radiation and chemotherapy. But since we detected it early, I have no doubts that she should be in remission soon.”
“Thank you, doctor.” Mom and Valerie both squeezed my hand and kissed my forehead before walking out of the room, leaving me, John, and the doctor.
He walked over to the bed and leaned over, placing a light kiss on my lips before whispering, “I’ll see you when you’re out, Red.”
The thing about being put to sleep for surgery is that you lose complete track of time. I could have been out for years and not known it. I wonder if that’s what it’s like to be put in a coma. I didn’t dream. I didn’t even remember falling asleep. But when I woke up, I was in a recovery room and had no idea how I got there. And by looking at the clock, half the day had gone by, and I slept through it.
“How are you feeling, honey?” A gray haired nurse stood over me.
“Super duper.” Obviously the drugs hadn’t worn off because I couldn’t feel much and my brain was in a fog. All I wanted to do was go back to sleep, but instead the lady kept asking me questions.
Luckily, my mom and sister came in and the nurse handed them papers and gave them information. They sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher and all I heard was ‘wah wah wah.’ But there was a voice that I was able to make out loud and clear. It was sexy and flowed like caramel.
“I’ll ride home with Melanie’s mom and sister and just walk back to the house. Don’t worry.”
John was still there? And he was in my room? Maybe I had imagined it.
“Okay, sweetie, we need you to get dressed and then we’ll get you discharged before a volunteer comes in to wheel you out.”
I didn’t know if the gray haired lady was talking to me or somebody else so I just stared at Mom. She nodded for me and then the nurse left the room, closing the curtain behind her.
“Do you think you can dress yourself, Mel?” Mom was right at the edge of the bed, staring at me with her brows furrowed. I blinked a few times. God was I tired. If I slept so long, why was I so tired?
“I guess this means we’re helping her,” Valerie said.
I wondered if John really was still in the room. If he was, he would get to see a whole lot more of me than he bargained for.
I barely remembered my mom helping me to get dressed or the giant ice diaper that I wore home. The only thing I remembered about leaving the hospital was being wheeled out into the cold air and then leaning on a warm body in the car. A warm, great smelling body.
“Is she awake?” A faint voice asked.
The great smelling guy gently caressed my cheek. “She seems out of it.” It was John’s voice. It really was him that stayed.
I fluttered my eyes open slightly and looked up at his gorgeous, smiling face.
“Do you think you can walk to your apartment?” he asked.
“Sleeping sounds better,” I mumbled and nuzzled against his rock hard chest.
“This is going to be fun,” Valerie said from the front seat.
“I’ve got this.” John’s smooth voice carried over me and before I knew it I was being lifted in the air. Was I dying? Was this all really just a dream sequence that was leading me to death?
I was floating. Floating and cold. Sweatpants are not meant for November weather. I shivered, but then I was pulled tighter to the warm body and I buried my head against it. It smelled so good, like fresh laundry and sandalwood.
Then as quickly as I was floating, I was brought back to earth. My back pressed against a soft surface and my warm bodied angel wasn’t against me. I moaned and turned to my side, the weight of my ice diaper shifting and causing a trickle of water to run down my leg. “Cold, freezing, cold.” I couldn’t speak in coherent sentences. My tongue was numb.
“Are you okay?” John’s warm breath was on my face. I opened my eyes, slowly. It felt like pulling them through wet cement, but the sight I saw when I opened them was worth it. He was crouched down next to me, his eyes brimming with concern.
