car and drive up to his house in some romantic gesture. But that wouldn’t work since I didn’t know where he lived and I wasn’t sure if he wanted me there. I didn’t even know if I could make the drive with how much I’d cried the night before. I felt like I was a zombie.
“Why can’t all relationships be like the ones in old movies?” I watched as the guy on the screen put his hand on the girl’s cheek and said something unbelievably romantic to her.
“Because guys don’t actually think about what they do or say. These are actors, they have it all written for them,” Valerie said.
The doorbell rang, knocking me and Val out of our conversation. Mom still had to work until seven and we didn't order anything, so I had no idea who could be at the door.
'I guess I'll get it if you're just going to sit there,' Val said, pulling the blanket off of her and crawling off the couch.
'Maybe it's just a delivery and they’ll leave the package at the door,' I said.
The doorbell rang again like it was taunting me. Valerie didn't even answer me as she strode from the living room to the front entrance.
A few seconds later she was yelling for me. 'Melanie! It’s for you!'
It was probably Monica. She should have been back from the Chapmans’ by now. She was probably coming by to give me all the details of what Christmas Eve day was like with Trey's family.
I tossed aside my blanket and trudged to the front foyer. But it wasn't Monica at all. Standing in his NorthFace jacket with snow atop his brown hair was John and my heart was in my throat.
“I-I-I wasn’t expecting you,” I stuttered. I could barely form any words. I was scared that we wouldn’t talk before we returned to school. I thought I’d have more time to think of what to say. But now he was standing there, looking every bit of sexy as always, but with a hint of sadness in his eyes.
“And I think that’s my cue to leave.” Valerie grabbed her coat from the rack and slid it on. “I’m just going for a drive. A long drive. And I’ll make sure to knock. A lot. Before I come home.” She raised her eyebrows, giving me a sly smile before she walked out the front door, closing it tightly behind her.
“That’s why I’m here, Red.” He took a step closer, rubbing the back of his neck. “After talking to you last night, I couldn’t sleep. I needed to talk to you. See you. I wanted to leave as soon as we got off the phone, but thought better of it. So I waited until this morning.”
How did you find out where I lived?” I arched an eyebrow.
“Monica.”
“Guess that makes sense.” I stared at my feet, tracing a small circle on the entryway tile with my foot.
“So, can we talk?”
I looked up, meeting his eyes. He definitely wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t sleep. The bags under his eyes were evident. “Yeah. We can talk.” I pointed to the closet. “You can hang up your coat in there and come in the living room.”
“Okay.” He unzipped his coat and shrugged it off before hanging it in the closet. He kept his eyes on me the entire time as if he’d blink and I’d be gone.
“Living room is this way.” I took small steps backward and he followed behind. I grabbed the remote and paused the movie, right at a scene in which the male lead had the woman in an embrace, their lips only inches apart.
“What are you watching?” He glanced at the screen, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“Some old Christmas movie. Valerie loves these things.”
“Oh.” He traced a small circle in the carpet with his foot. I’d never seen John nervous. He had always been so sure of himself. This was a side of him that I’d never seen. His vulnerable side. It made me want to wrap my arms around him, breathe him in and make it better.
“So...what do you want to talk about?”
He took a few steps closer until we were toe-to-toe. “I thought a lot about this on the way over. It probably sounded a lot better in my head, but I’m going to try.”
“Okay...”
He cupped my face in his hands. His eyes were so blue they could have lit up any night sky. “I love you, Melanie Wilder. I love you so fucking much that I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been. I should have realized it a long time ago. It’s why I didn’t sleep with you that night. I wanted you to remember it. I wanted to savor every moment with you and not worry about anything but how you feel against me.”
My knees felt like they were about to give out and I was glad he was holding me. He did love me. He loved me just as much as I loved him. The foul-mouthed fraternity guy. The vulnerable man. All of him was mine. I did the only thing there was left to do. “I love you too, John.” I leaned forward, unable to keep the smile off my face. “You’re the most amazing person. I thought I was so broken. That because of my cancer my world was going to fall apart.” I took his hand, lacing our fingers together. “Then you showed me that I wasn’t broken, just bent. You fixed me.”
He shook his head slowly, tracing his thumb along my palm. “You’re the one that fixed me. Before you I was the misunderstood bull. The guy that people thought just wanted to fuck or fight and you saw past that. You showed me that I could be something more.”
He grinned and pulled back slightly, digging through his pocket before he pulled out a small, gray box. “But I hope that you still want this. I didn’t know what I’d do if you wouldn’t have talked to me. If you would have just told me to leave.”
I raised an eyebrow but took the box from his hand and opened it. Inside was a necklace with a bronze heart charm. The words ‘The Only One’ were stamped on it.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I know. It’s kind of cheesy, but my sister-in-law makes this hand stamped jewelry shit and I saw this heart design and thought it was perfect for you. I even picked out the words and she gave me a hard time about it. If you think it’s stupid, I’ll take it back.”
He wasn’t the bull at all. The guy who I didn’t think of as more than a quick lay when I met him, turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. He thought about me when I wasn’t around and even came up with a very special Christmas gift. I felt the tears welling in my eyes. For once they were happy tears. “I don’t think it’s stupid at all.” I looked up from the necklace to meet his gaze. “I’ll still be your only one if you want me.”
John took the box from me, placing it on the table next to the couch. He grinned, leaning in so that his breath was on my lips. “Red, there is never going to be another one.”
He kissed me with such force that it took my breath away. His tongue found mine and he rolled it against my mouth. His smile was evident with each kiss. His lips trailed to my ear as he whispered, “I love you. I can’t believe I finally said it. God, I love you.”
I raked my fingers through his hair and his hands trailed from my face down to my butt, grasping it tightly. I ran my fingers over the top of his thin t-shirt and could feel the hard contours of his chest.
“Here, lemme help you with that,” he whispered and pulled his lips away long enough to peel his shirt off.
I traced my fingers along his bull tattoo. “Do I get to be the matador? I promise I won’t distract you.”
He leaned in, pressing his forehead to mine. “You’ve always been the matador. You always will be.”
I grinned, grabbing his wrists and walking him backward toward the hallway.
“You don’t have some random sex room that you’re taking me to, do you?”
I kept my face neutral as I pulled him by the belt loops to my bedroom, quickly throwing the door open and pulling him through.
“Ah, the bedroom.” He grinned.
I shut the door behind him and then put my hands back on his chest, running my fingers along his tattoos and down his abs.
“Don’t tease me. I don’t think I can take it.”
A small smile crossed my face as I pushed him forward until he was at the futon. He took my hands and tried to pull me down with him.
I shook my head and stayed in a standing position. I ripped off my shirt, tossing it on the ground before I climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. I rocked my pelvis up to his groin, feeling the ever growing bulge in his pants. “Just taking charge,” I whispered into his lips before running my tongue along them.
He grinned and then his fingers made tiny circles on my back as his tongue found mine again. “God that’s
