Angel Fever

You seem so tense.”

Alex, so close that I could feel his body’s warmth even where we weren’t touching – it was everything I’d longed for, so why was I feeling like this? “I’m fine,” I said after a pause. “It must just still be the shock, or something.”

He sighed. “Yeah. I’m still dealing with that myself.” Keeping one arm around me, he rolled onto his back, gazing at my angel. “A year,” he murmured. “Jesus, you’re nineteen now. We’re the same age.”

I fell silent, remembering my nineteenth birthday party. How I’d cried so hard that I’d thrown up. Then my gaze fell on the battered work boots lying nearby; Alex had said he’d scavenged them from a dark town.

The explosion at the camp thundered through me again: my voice screaming Alex’s name, my fingers bleeding as I clawed at shards of concrete, the way I’d cradled his shoe as I sobbed.

All because he hadn’t wanted to see the look on my face.

Alex touched my cheek. “Oh god, babe,” he said softly. “I can’t even imagine what this last year has been like for you.”

A great, dark wave was cresting inside me. “It…wasn’t much fun,” I said thinly. “I mean, obviously. But I got through it.”

He raised my hand to his lips and kissed my palm. “I’ll make it up to you, somehow,” he said. “I swear it, Willow. All that matters now is that we’re together again.”

I’ll make it up to you. I went very still. For a moment I almost felt short of breath. Had he actually just said that? For him to even think it was possible…

He’d put me through hell, and he didn’t even know it.

Alex settled back with his arms around me. I could feel that he thought I just didn’t want to talk about it yet. “So what’s been happening back at the base?” he asked. He smiled slightly. “How did Seb finally come to his senses about Meghan, anyway? Last time I talked to him, he wasn’t even close.”

And he looked so relaxed that suddenly I hated him.

“I don’t know,” I said, my voice tightly controlled. “I guess maybe it was when the two of us were kissing a few days ago.”

Alex’s expression drained. He propped himself up on one elbow, staring at me. “You were kissing Seb,” he repeated.

“Yeah, we had to take shelter on the way here.” Who was this person talking, with her hard, deliberate tone? “It was this really romantic setting – a fireplace, a sheepskin rug – and we just fell into each other’s arms. It was so passionate – we couldn’t get enough of each other. I’ve never––”

Hurt anger had come over Alex’s face. “Fine, I get the picture! You totally wanted Seb. So what happened?”

I longed to tell him that we’d spent a night of wild passion on the sheepskin rug. Instead my voice shook as I snapped: “Nothing! Because Seb sensed I was still in love with you, that I was using him without even meaning to! And I sensed he’s in love with Meghan.”

Alex lay staring at me. Feeling ashamed and small suddenly, I looked down at the sleeping bag, tracing its seam. “He, um…hasn’t really figured that part out for himself yet. I think that’s why he’s being so rude to—”

“What the hell was that about?” Alex interrupted. He gripped my bare shoulder. “Let me get this straight: you’re telling me nothing else happened, because you’re still in love with me.”

I swallowed. “That’s…pretty much what I’m saying, yes.”

“Great – so was there a particular reason you had to tell me that the two of you were all over each other? What a romantic setting it was?”

“I thought you’d want to know,” I said levelly.

Alex snorted. “Yeah, I’m overjoyed – thanks for sharing. Jesus, Willow! Seb’s my friend, and right now I want to—” He stopped abruptly; finally he let out a breath and rubbed a hand over his face.

“Look,” he said. “I don’t even know where any of this came from. I don’t want to argue, all right? I get that you must be upset over what’s happened, but—”

Something like a laugh choked out of me. “Upset? You told me to trust you and I thought you were dead for a year. But hey, you’re back now, so it’s all good.”

“I had to go. I didn’t tell you the truth because—” Alex cut himself off, looking frustrated. “Oh, what’s the point? You already know all of this. It doesn’t seem to make any difference.”

He glanced at my angel’s gleaming form, his jaw tight. “Do you mind? I’ve got to get some sleep. Unless you’ve got any more revelations you’d like to throw at me. Hey, throw them really hard, all right? Bonus points if you knock me out.”

I didn’t tell him about the base. At least I didn’t do that: I didn’t use it as a weapon against him, even though I was so angry and hurt myself that I was trembling.

“No,” I said finally. “No more revelations.” And I brought my angel back to me, and the stage fell into darkness.

31

“I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE really Alex Kylar.” Scott stood propped against the sink next to Alex; he’d just come into the school on his break. It was nearly dawn – a lantern lit the shadowy boy’s bathroom.

“Yeah, I really am,” Alex said dryly. He stood clad in his jeans as he quickly shaved. The second it was light enough, he, Willow and Seb would start searching for the gate.

“Man, you must have seen so much action. How many angels have you brought down?”

“I stopped keeping track.”

“What was your last count?”

Would this guy never shut up? “Over a thousand.” Alex’s tone was terse.

His reflection looked back steadily from the mirror as if the argument with Willow hadn’t happened. But when he’d woken up, her stiffness had brought it back in excruciating detail. They’d dressed in silence.

Scott whistled. “That is just…epic.”

“Not epic enough – they’re still around,” Alex said curtly. There were other guys in the restroom too; to Alex’s annoyance, they were listening. Great, just what he needed.

He glanced up as Seb walked in.

The other sinks were in use; Scott reluctantly stood up. Seb poured a bucket of steaming water into the basin and hastily stripped off his T-shirt. “Morning,” he said to Alex.

“Morning,” Alex muttered back. He knew he didn’t have much right to mind about the kiss – Christ, they’d both thought he was dead. But leaping straight to acceptance was a little beyond him. He had to fight the urge to slam Seb up against a wall.

Scott was eyeing the AK on Alex’s bicep. “I am seriously getting one of those tattoos if we survive this thing. And, dude, is that a bullet wound?”

Alex didn’t bother answering. After a few more attempts, Scott gave up and left. One by one the others filtered out too, until only Seb was there. Alex glanced at him as he swiped his face dry.

“Willow told me,” he said.

Seb had been frowning as if there was something on his mind. He glanced up. “Told you what?”

Alex looked at him without speaking.

“Oh.” Slowly, Seb rinsed the soap from under his arms. “Amigo, it wasn’t anything,” he said, sounding tired. “It was a mistake; we both knew it right away.”

“Yeah, she told me that too.”

“Did she tell you the rest?” Seb pulled his T-shirt back on; his loose curls appeared. “I’m not in love with her any more,” he said quietly. “I care about her as a friend – that’s all.”

Any other time, the news would have been welcome. Now Alex’s muscles stayed tight; he snapped on his own T-shirt. “No, she kept that one to herself. But, hey, it’s good to go out on a high – I heard you couldn’t get enough of each other.”

Seb looked taken aback. “She said that?”