In the Age of Love and Chocolate

“That’s why he was killed?” I had lost my father because of a dispute involving cacao suppliers.

“Yes, I believe so, though it is only a theory and I cannot say for certain. But I worry for you, Anya. The Balanchiadzes are ruthless and you are their enemy.”

“You think I am in danger?”

“I know it. But once you have my influence and resources, they will be more cautious when it comes to you.” He took my hand. “I am so proud of you,” he said. “I am sorry I cannot be here to turn my company around myself. I could simply leave you in charge without marrying you, but mine is a family business and the only way they will respect you is if you are considered to be an Ono.”

“Yuji, I don’t love you. Not that way.”

“But you don’t love anyone else either?”

I thought of Theo, but the situation did not seem worth mentioning.

“Am I right? Win Delacroix is in your past, and there is no one else right now?”

“If you knew he was in my past, why did you ask about him before?”

“Because I wanted to see your eyes. I wanted to be certain.”

The last time Yuji had asked me for my hand in marriage, I had been sure that I could only love Win.

Yuji offered me his hand. “We both go into this with our eyes open. There are many worse reasons to make a marriage.” He looked at me. “Besides, I have very little time left on this earth. I would not mind spending it with you.”

I told him I needed to think, and then I walked him out to his car.

XIII I HAVE THOUGHTS; I AM MOSTLY WRONG

I COULD NOT SLEEP that night.

I thought of Win and how much I had loved him and how much he had claimed he loved me and how that still hadn’t been enough to make him understand why I had to open the club.

I thought of Theo and how well he understood both my business and me. I thought of how very, very much I liked him. I thought how it had made me feel petty and mean that I couldn’t seem to love him the way he loved me, the way I had loved Win. What is so great about you that you turn down a perfectly good boy’s love? I asked myself.

I thought of how I’d tried the entire winter to end my relationship with Theo. I thought this would certainly be one way of ending it.

Mostly I thought of Yuji, who had saved my life and my brother’s life. I thought of the good the union would do my business and the many people I was responsible for.

I thought that Yuji did not have very long to live.

I thought how, when he died, it wouldn’t hurt much because I had never loved him in the first place.

I thought of the many people who married and ended up divorced or miserable. I thought of Win’s parents and my parents.

I thought, romantic love is not a very good reason to marry anyway. People change; love dies. You might, for instance, find yourself standing in a nightclub on New Year’s Eve, with the boy you loved saying that he wished he had never met you. That sometimes happened.

Family. Obligation. Legacy. The more I thought about it, the more these seemed like good and practical reasons to wed.

I thought I was grown-up.

I thought I knew what I was doing.

These were a few of the lies I told myself.

XIV I ATTEND A GRADUATION

“HOW CAN YOU EVEN CONSIDER THIS?” Theo yelled. It was three weeks later, and he had returned from San Francisco to find me packing my bags and making preparations to leave for Japan with a stop in Boston. As hard as it was for me to believe, Natty was graduating from high school and she would be giving the valedictory speech at Sacred Heart.

Theo removed the clothes from my suitcase and threw them across the room.

“Stop that,” I said.

“I will not. I should go even further. I should tie you up or lock you in a closet. You are making a terrible mistake.”

“Theo, please, you’re my dearest friend.”

“Then, as your friend, I am not happy for you,” he said. “You should not leave me for someone you don’t love.”

“Love has nothing to do with this.”

“What is the reason, then? You are richer than your father. You have done everything you wanted. You cannot owe this man your heart.”

“I’m not giving him my heart. Only my hand.”

“We are happy, Anya. We have been happy for over a year. Why do you wish to make someone else your husband?”

“We have not been happy. We have been arguing for months. And our being unhappy has nothing to do with this anyway. I am marrying Yuji Ono because I have to. No, because I want to.”

“Yuji Ono ruined my cousin Sophia.”

“That isn’t true.”

He changed his tone. “Anya, por favor. We must discuss this. If you still wish to marry Yuji Ono, then do it. But do not be hasty. Why must you rush?”

“He is dying, Theo. And he wants me to inherit his business so that I can do for Ono Sweets what we have done in New York.”

“Puta,” Theo spat.

“What?”

“It means ‘whore.’”

“I know what it means. Are you calling me a whore?”

“I am calling you a person who chooses money over love. That is a whore.”

“I don’t love you, Theo. I don’t know how else or how many times I can say this. And even if I did love you, I’m not sure it would be enough.”

Theo muttered something in Spanish.

“What?”

“You are a sad person, Anya. I pity you.”

My phone rang. “That’s my cab,” I said. “I’m leaving.”

He didn’t reply.

“Congratulate me. I would congratulate you.”

“You cannot honestly think that. Sometimes I feel I have never known you at all.” He left my room and then I heard him leave the apartment.

I picked up my rumpled clothes and jammed them back into the suitcase. I would be lying if I told you my spirits hadn’t also been slightly rumpled by Theo’s words.

As I went into the hallway, Scarlet came out of her bedroom—she and Felix were now using Noriko and Leo’s old room. Scarlet was still in her Dark Room uniform from the night before. She must have fallen asleep in it.