Dirk raised his eyebrows challengingly.
'All right, all right,' said Richard, holding up his palms, 'let's just follow it through. Even if I accepted - which I don't for one second - that there was any basis at all for clairvoyance, it wouldn't alter the fundamental undoableness of the experiment. As I said, the whole thing turns on what happens inside the box before it's observed.
It doesn't matter how you observe it, whether you look into the box with your eyes or - well, with your mind, if you insist. If clairvoyance works, then it's just another way of looking into the box, and if it doesn't then of course it's irrelevant.'
'It might depend, of course, on the view you take of clairvoyance…'
'Oh yes? And what view do you take of clairvoyance? I should be very interested to know, given your history.'
Dirk tapped the cigarette on the desk again and looked narrowly at Richard.
There was a deep and prolonged silence, disturbed only by the sound of distant crying in French.
'I take the view I have always taken,' said Dirk eventually.
'Which is?'
'That I am not clairvoyant.'
'Really,' said Richard. 'Then what about the exam papers?'
The eyes of Dirk Gently darkened at the mention of this subject.
'A coincidence,' he said, in a low, savage voice, 'a strange and chilling coincidence, but none the less a coincidence. One, I might add, which caused me to spend a considerable time in prison.
Coincidences can be frightening and dangerous things.'
Dirk gave Richard another of his long appraising looks.
'I have been watching you carefully,' he said. 'You seem to be extremely relaxed for a man in your position.'
This seemed to Richard to be an odd remark, and he tried to make sense of it for a moment. Then the light dawned, and it was an aggravating light.
'Good heavens,' he said, 'he hasn't got to you as well, has he?'
This remark seemed to puzzle Dirk in return.
'Who hasn't got to me?' he said.
'Gordon. No, obviously not. Gordon Way. He has this habit of trying to get other people to bring pressure on me to get on with what he sees as important work. I thought for a moment - oh, never mind. What did you mean, then?'
'Ah. Gordon Way /has/ this habit, has he?'
'Yes. I don't like it. Why?'
Dirk looked long and hard at Richard, tapping a pencil lightly on the desk.
Then he leaned back in his chair and said as follows: 'The body of Gordon Way was discovered before dawn this morning. He had been shot, strangled, and then his house was set on fire. Police are working on the theory that he was not actually shot in the house because no shotgun pellets were discovered there other than those in the body.
'However, pellets were found near to Mr Way's Mercedes 500 SEC, which was found abandoned about three miles from his house. This suggests that the body was moved after the murder. Furthermore the doctor who examined the body is of the opinion that Mr Way was in fact strangled after he was shot, which seems to suggest a certain confusion in the mind of the killer.
'By a startling coincidence it appears that the police last night had occasion to interview a very confused- seeming gentleman who said that he was suffering from some kind of guilt complex about having just run over his employer.
'That man was a Mr Richard MacDuff, and his employer was the deceased, Mr Gordon Way. It has further been suggested that Mr Richard MacDuff is one of the two people most likely to benefit from Mr Way's death, since WayForward Technologies would almost certainly pass at least partly into his hands. The other person is his only living relative, Miss Susan Way, into whose flat Mr Richard MacDuff was observed to break last night. The police don't know that bit, of course. Nor, if we can help it, will they. However, any relationship between the two of them will naturally come under close scrutiny. The news reports on the radio say that they are urgently seeking Mr MacDuff, who they believe will be able to help them with their enquiries, but the tone of voice says that he's clearly guilty as hell.
'My scale of charges is as follows: two hundred pounds a day, plus expenses. Expenses are not negotiable and will sometimes strike those who do not understand these matters as somewhat tangential. They are all necessary and are, as I say, not negotiable. Am I hired?'
'Sorry,' said Richard, nodding slightly. 'Would you start that again?'
CHAPTER 17
The Electric Monk hardly knew what to believe any more.
He had been through a bewildering number of belief systems in the previous few hours, most of which had failed to provide him with the long-term spiritual solace that it was his bounden programming eternally to seek.
He was fed up. Frankly. And tired. And dispirited.
And furthermore, which caught him by surprise, he rather missed his horse. A dull and menial creature, to be sure, and as such hardly worthy of the preoccupation of one whose mind was destined forever to concern itself with higher things beyond the understanding of a simple horse, but nevertheless he missed it.
He wanted to sit on it. He wanted to pat it. He wanted to feel that it didn't understand.
He wondered where it was.
He dangled his feet disconsolately from the branch of the tree in which he had spent the night. He had climbed it in pursuit of some wild fantastic dream and then had got stuck and had to stay there till the morning.
Even now, by daylight, he wasn't certain how he was going to get down. He came for a moment perilously close to believing that he could fly, but a quick-thinking error-checking protocol cut in and told him not to be so silly.
It was a problem though.
Whatever burning fire of faith had borne him, inspired on wings of hope, upwards through the branches of the tree in the magic hours of night, had not also provided him with instructions on how to get back down again when, like altogether too many of these burning fiery nighttime faiths, it had deserted him in the morning.
And speaking - or rather thinking - of burning fiery things, there had been a major burning fiery thing a little distance from here in the early pre-dawn hours.
It lay, he thought, in the direction from which he himself had come when he had been drawn by a deep spiritual compulsion towards this inconveniently high but otherwise embarrassingly ordinary tree. He had longed to go and worship at the fire, to pledge himself eternally to its holy glare, but while he had been struggling hopelessly to find a way downwards through the branches, fire engines had arrived and put the divine radiance out, and that had been another creed out of the window.
The sun had been up for some hours now, and though he had occupied the time as best as he could, believing in clouds, believing in twigs, believing in a peculiar form of flying beetle, he believed now that he was fed up, and was utterly convinced, furthermore, that he was getting hungry.
He wished he'd taken the precaution of providing himself with some food from the dwelling place he had visited in the night, to which he had carried his sacred burden for entombment in the holy broom cupboard, but he had left in the grip of a white passion, believing that such mundane matters as food were of no consequence, that
