A Civil Campaign

'Lord Mark and I are going to be working together,' the gangling scientist told Miles earnestly.

'I assume we have some room to spare for him,' Mark added.

'God, yes, help yourselves. The House is yours. I moved last winter to the big suite on the second floor of the east wing, so the whole of the north wing is unoccupied now above the ground floor. Except for the room on the fourth floor that Armsman Roic has. He sleeps days, so you might want to give him some margin. Father and Mother will bring their usual army with them when they get here towards Midsummer, but we can rearrange things then if necessary.'

'Enrique hopes to set up a little temporary laboratory, if you don't mind,' Mark said.

'Nothing explosive, I trust? Or toxic?'

'Oh, no, no, Lord Vorkosigan,' Enrique assured him. 'It's not like that at all.'

'Then I don't see why not.' He glanced down, and added in a fainter tone, 'Mark . . . why do the air holes have screens in them?'

'I'll explain everything,' Mark assured him airily, 'as soon as we get unloaded and I pay off these hired drivers.' Armsman Jankowski had appeared at Pym's elbow while the introductions had been going forth. 'The big blue valise is mine, Pym. Everything else goes with Dr. Borgos.'

By press-ganging the drivers, the van was unloaded quickly to the staging area of the black-and-white tiled entry hall. A moment of alarm occurred when Armsman Jankowski, tottering along under a load of what Mark knew to be hastily-packed laboratory glassware, stepped on a black- and-white kitten, well-camouflaged by the tiles. The outraged creature emitted an ear-splitting yowl, spat, and shot off between Enrique's feet, nearly tripping the Escobaran, who was just then balancing the very expensive molecular analyzer. It was saved by a grab from Pym.

They'd almost been caught, during their midnight raid on the padlocked lab that had liberated the all-important notes and irreplaceable specimens, when Enrique had insisted on going back for the damned analyzer. Mark would have taken it as some sort of cosmic I-told-you-so if Enrique had dropped it now. I'll buy you a whole new lab when we get to Barrayar , he'd kept trying to convince the Escobaran. Enrique had seemed to think Barrayar was still stuck in the Time of Isolation, and he wasn't going to be able to obtain anything here more scientifically complex than an alembic, a still, and maybe a trepanning chisel.

Settling in their digs took still more time, as the ideal spot Enrique immediately tried to select for his new lab was the mammoth, modernized, brilliantly-lit, and abundantly-powered kitchen. Upon Pym's inquiry, Miles hastily arrived to defend this turf for his cook, a formidable woman whom he seemed to regard as essential to the smooth running not only of his household but also of his new political career. After a low-voiced explanation from Mark that the phrase The House is yours was a mere polite locution, and not meant to be taken literally, Enrique was persuaded to settle for a secondary laundry room in the half-basement of the north wing, not nearly so spacious, but with running water and waste disposal facilities. Mark promised a shopping trip for whatever toys and tools and benches and hoods and lighting Enrique's heart desired just as soon as possible, and left him to start arranging his treasures. The scientist showed no interest whatsoever in the selection of a bedroom. Mark figured he'd probably end up dragging a cot into his new lab, and settling there like a brooding hen defending her nest.

Mark threw his valise into the same room he'd occupied last year, and returned to the laundry to make ready to pitch his proposal to his big brother. It had all seemed to make such splendid sense, back on Escobar, but Mark hadn't known Enrique so well then. The man was a genius, but God Almighty he needed a keeper. Mark thought he understood the whole mess with the bankruptcy proceedings and the fraud suits perfectly, now. 'Let me do the talking, understand?' Mark told Enrique firmly. 'Miles is an important man here, an Imperial Auditor, and he has the ear of the Emperor himself. His support could give us a big boost.' More importantly, his active opposition could be fatal to the scheme; he could kill it with a word. 'I know how to work him. Just agree with everything I say, and don't try to add any embellishments of your own.'

Enrique nodded eagerly, and followed him like an over-sized puppy through the maze of the house till they tracked Miles down in the great library. Pym was just setting out a spread of tea, coffee, Vorkosigan wines, two varieties of District-brewed beer, and a tray of assorted hors d'oeuvres that looked like a stained-glass window done in food. The Armsman gave Mark a cordial welcome-home nod, and withdrew to leave the two brothers to their reunion.

'How handy,' Mark said, pulling up a chair next to the low table. 'Snacks. It just so happens I have a new product for you to taste-test, Miles. I think it could prove very profitable.'

Miles flicked up an interested eyebrow, and leaned forward as Mark unwrapped a square of attractive red foil to reveal a soft white cube. 'Some sort of cheese, is it?'

'Not exactly, though it is an animal product, in a sense. This is the unflavored base version. Flavors and colors can be added as desired, and I'll show you some of those later when we've had time to mix them up. It's nutritious as hell, though—a perfectly balanced blend of carbohydrates, proteins, and fats, with all the essential vitamins in their proper proportions. You could live on a diet of this stuff alone, and water, if you had to.'

'I lived on it for three months straight!' Enrique put in proudly. Mark shot him a slight frown, and he subsided.

Mark seized one of the silver knives on the tray, cut the cube into four parts, and popped a portion into his mouth. 'Try it!' he said around his chewing. He stopped short of a dramatic mumble of yum, yum! or other convincing sound effects. Enrique too reached for a piece. More cautiously, so did Miles. He hesitated, with the fragment at his lips, to find both his watchers hanging on his gesture. His brows twitched up; he chewed. A breathless silence fell. He swallowed.

Enrique, scarcely able to contain himself, said, 'How d'you like it?'

Miles shrugged. 'It's . . . all right. Bland, but you said it was unflavored. Tastes better than a lot of military rations I've eaten.'

'Oh, military rations,' said Enrique. 'Now, there's an application I hadn't thought of—'

'We'll get to that phase later,' said Mark.

'So what makes it so potentially profitable?' asked Miles curiously.

'Because, through the miracle of modern bioengineering, it can be made practically for free. Once the customer has purchased, or perhaps licensed, his initial supply of butter bugs, that is.'

A slight but noticeable silence. 'His what?'

Mark pulled out the little box from his jacket pocket, and carefully lifted the lid. Enrique sat up expectantly. 'This,' said Mark, and held the box out toward his brother, 'is a butter bug.'

Miles glanced down into the box, and recoiled. 'Yuk! That is the most disgusting thing I've seen in my life!'

Inside the box, the thumb-sized worker butter bug scrabbled about on its six stubby legs, waved its antennae frantically, and tried to escape. Mark gently pushed its tiny claws back from the edges. It chittered its dull brown vestigial wing carapaces, and crouched to drag its white, soft, squishy-looking abdomen to the safety of one corner.

Miles leaned forward again, to peer in revolted fascination. 'It looks like a cross between a cockroach, a termite, and a . . . and a . . . and a pustule.'

'We have to admit, its physical appearance is not its main selling point.'