Mirror Dance

about Miles?”

“Sooner or later,” she took a breath, “if ImpSec doesn’t find the body, sooner or later there must be a formal declaration of death. While Aral lives, I would rather it be later. No one outside of the highest echelons of ImpSec, Emperor Gregor, and a few government officials know Miles is anything but an ImpSec courier officer of modest rank. It is a perfectly true statement that he is away on duty. Most who inquire after him will be willing to accept that ImpSec hasn’t confided to you where they sent him or for how long.”

“Galen once said,” Mark began, and stopped.

The Countess gave him a level look. “Is Galen much on your mind, tonight?”

“Somewhat,” Mark admitted. “He trained me for this, too. We did all the major ceremonies of the Imperium, because he didn’t know in advance just what time of year he’d drop me in. The Emperor’s Birthday, the Midsummer Review, Winterfair—all of ’em. I can’t do this and not think of him, and how much he hated the Imperium.”

“He had his reasons.”

“He said … Admiral Vorkosigan was a murderer.”

The Countess sighed, and sat back. “Yes?”

“Was he?”

“You’ve had a chance to observe him for yourself. What do you think?”

“Lady … I’m a murderer. And I can’t tell.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Justly put. Well. His military career was long and complex—and bloody—and a matter of public record. But I imagine Galen’s main focus was the Solstice Massacre, in which his sister Rebecca died.”

Mark nodded mutely.

“The Barrayaran expedition’s Political Officer, not Aral, ordered that atrocious event. Aral executed him for it with his own hands, when he found out. Without the formality of a court martial, unfortunately. So he evades one charge, but not the other. So yes. He is a murderer.”

“Galen said it was to cover up the evidence. There’d been a verbal order, and only the Political Officer knew it.”

“So how could Galen know it? Aral says otherwise. I believe Aral.”

“Galen said he was a torturer.”

“No,” said the Countess flatly. “That was Ges Vorrutyer, and Prince Serg. Their faction is now extinct.” She smiled a thin, sharp smile.

“A madman.”

“No one on Barrayar is sane, by Betan standards.” She gave him an amused look. “Not even you and me.”

Especially not me. He took a small breath. “A sodomite.” She tilted her head. “Does that matter, to you?”

“It was … prominent, in Galen’s conditioning of me.”

“I know.”

“You do? Dammit …” Was he glass, to these people? A feelie-drama for their amusement? Except the Countess didn’t seem amused. “An ImpSec report, no doubt,” he said bitterly.

“They fast-penta’d one of Galen’s surviving subordinates. A man named Lars, if that means anything to you.”

“It does.” He gritted his teeth. Not a chance at human dignity, not one shred left to him.

“Aside from Galen, does Aral’s private orientation matter? To you?”

“I don’t know. Truth matters.”

“So it does. Well, in truth … I judge him to be bisexual, but subconsciously more attracted to men than to women. Or rather—to soldiers. Not to men generally, I don’t think. I am, by Barrayaran standards, a rather extreme, er, tomboy, and thus became the solution to his dilemmas. The first time he met me I was in uniform, in the middle of a nasty armed encounter. He thought it was love at first sight. I’ve never bothered explaining to him that it was his compulsions leaping up.” Her lips twitched.

“Why not? Or were your compulsions leaping up too?”

“No, it took me, oh, four or five more days to come completely unglued. Well, three days, anyway.” Her eyes were alight with memory. “I wish you could have seen him then, in his forties. At the top of his form.”

Mark had overheard himself verbally dissected by the Countess too, in this very library. There was something weirdly consoling in the knowledge that her scalpel was not reserved for him alone. It’s not just me. She does this to everybody. Argh.

“You’re … very blunt, ma’am. What did Miles think of this?”

She frowned thoughtfully. “He’s never asked me anything. It’s possible that unhappy period in Aral’s youth has come to Miles’s ears only as the garbled slander of Aral’s political enemies, and been discounted.”

“Why tell me?”

“You asked. You are an adult. And … you have a greater need to know. Because of Galen. If things are ever to be square between you and Aral, your view of him should be neither falsely exalted nor falsely low. Aral is a great man. I, a Betan, say this; but I don’t confuse greatness with perfection. To be great anyhow is … the higher achievement.” She gave him a crooked smile. “It should give you hope, eh?”

“Huh. Block me from escape, you mean. Are you saying that no matter how screwed up I was, you’d still expect me to work wonders?” Appalling.

She considered this. “Yes,” she said serenely. “In fact, since no one is perfect, it follows that all great deeds have been accomplished out of imperfection. Yet they were accomplished, somehow, all the same.”

It wasn’t just his father who had made Miles crazy, Mark decided. “I’ve never heard you analyze yourself, ma’am,” he said sourly. Yes, who shaved the barber?

“Me?” she smiled bleakly. “I’m a fool, boy.”

She evaded the question. Or did she? “A fool for love?” he said lightly, in an effort to escape the sudden awkwardness his question had created.

“And other things.” Her eyes were wintry.

A wet, foggy dusk was gathering to cloak the city as the Countess and Mark were conveyed to the Imperial Residence. The splendidly liveried and painfully neat Pym drove the groundcar. Another half-dozen of the Count’s armsmen accompanied them in another vehicle, more as honor guards than bodyguards, Mark sensed; they seemed to be looking forward to the party. At some comment of his to the Countess she remarked, “Yes, this is more of a night off for them than usual. ImpSec will have the Residence sewn up. There is a whole parallel sub-society of servants at these things—and it’s not been totally unknown for an armsman of address to catch the eye of some junior Vor bud, and marry upward, if his military background is good enough.”

They arrived at the Imperial pile, which was architecturally reminiscent of Vorkosigan House multiplied by a factor of eight. They hurried out of the clinging fog into the warm, brilliantly-lit interior. Mark found the Countess formally attached to his left arm, which was both alarming and reassuring. Was he escort, or appendage? In either case, he sucked in his stomach and straightened his spine as much as he could.

Mark was startled when the first person they met in the vestibule was Simon Illyan. The security chief was dressed for the occasion in Imperial parade red-and-blues, which did not exactly render his slight form inconspicuous, though perhaps there were enough other red-and-blues present for him to blend in. Except that Illyan wore real lethal weapons at his hip, a plasma arc and a nerve disrupter in used-looking holsters, and not the blunted dual dress sword sets of the Vor officers. An oversized earbug glittered in his right ear.

“Milady,” Illyan nodded, and drew them aside. “When you saw him this afternoon,” he said in a low voice to the Countess, “how was he?”

No need to specify who he was, in this context. The Countess glanced around, to be sure they were out of earshot of casual passers-by. “Not good, Simon. His color’s bad, he’s very edemic, and he tends to drift in and out of focus, which I find more frightening than all the rest put together. The surgeon wants to spare him the double stress of having a mechanical heart installed while they’re waiting to bring the organic one up to size, but they may not be able to wait. He could end up in surgery for that at any moment.”

“Should I see him, or not, in your estimation?”