Suddenly, triple-A rated jobs in banking and Harrods with Luke Brandon seem miles away. Real life isn't swarming round Knightsbridge in a taxi, choosing ?1,000 suitcases, is it? This is real life. Home to a tiny flat which still smells of curry, and a pile of nasty letters from the bank, and no idea what to do about them.
I put my key in the lock, and as I open the door, I hear Suze cry, 'Bex? Is that you?'
'Yes!' I say, trying to sound cheerful. 'Where are you?'
'Here,' she says, appearing at the door of my bedroom. Her face is all pink, and there's a shine in her eyes. 'Guess what! I've got a surprise for you!'
'What is it?' I say, putting down my briefcase. To be honest, I m not in the mood for one of Suze's surprises. She'll just have moved my bed to a different place, or something. And all I want is to sit down and have a cup of tea and something to eat. I never did get any lunch.
'Come and see. No… no, shut your eyes, first. I'll lead yon.'
'OK,' I say reluctantly. I close my eyes and allow her to take my hand. We start to walk along the corridor and of course, as we near my bedroom door, I start feeling a little tingle of anticipation in spite of myself. I always fall for things like this.
'Dadaaa! You can look now!'
I open my eyes and look dazedly around my room, wondering what mad thing Suze has done now. At least she hasn't painted the walls or touched the curtains, and my computer's safely switched off. So what on earth can she have…
And then I see them. On my bed. Piles and piles of upholstered frames. All made up perfectly, with no wonky corners, and the braid glued neatly in place. I can't quite believe my eyes. There must be at least…
'I've done a hundred,' says Suze behind me. 'And I'm going to do the rest tomorrow! Aren't they fab?' I turn and stare incredulously at her.
'You… you did all these?'
'Yes!' she says proudly. 'It was easy, once I got into a rhythm. I did it in front of Morning Coffee. Oh, I wish you'd seen it. They had such a good phone-in, about men who dress up in women's clothes! There was this one guy-'
'Wait,' I say, trying to get my head round this. 'Wait. Suze, I don't understand. This must have taken you ages.' My eye runs disbelievingly over the pile of flames again. 'Why… why on earth did you-'
'Well, you weren't getting very far with them, were you?' says Suze kindly. 'I just thought I'd give you a helping hand.'
'A helping hand?' I echo weakly.
'I'll do the rest tomorrow, and then I'll ring up the delivery people,' says Suze. 'You know, it's a very good system. You don't have to post them, or anything. They just come and pick them up! And then they'll send you a cheque. It should come to about ?284. Pretty good, huh?!
'Hang on.' I turn round. 'What do you mean, they'll send me a cheque?' Suze looks at me as though I'm stupid.
'Well, Bex, they are your frames.'
'But you made them! Suze, you should get the money!'
'But I did them for you!' says Suze, and stares at me. 'I did them so you could make your three hundred quid!'
I stare at her silently, feeling a sudden thickness in my throat. Suze made all these frames for me. Slowly I sit down on the bed, pick up one of the frames and run my finger along the fabric. It's absolutely perfect. You could sell it in Liberty's.
'Suze, it's your money. Not mine,' I say eventually. 'It's your project, now.'
'Well, that's where you're wrong,' says Suze, and a triumphant look spreads over her face. 'I've got my own project.'
She comes over to the bed, reaches behind the pile of made-up frames, and pulls something out. It's a photo frame – but it's nothing like a Fine Frame. It's upholstered in silver furry fabric, and the word ANGEL is appliqued in pink across the top, and there are little silver pom-poms at the corners. It's the coolest, kitschiest frame I've ever seen.
'Do you like it?' she says, a bit nervously.
'I love it!' I say, grabbing it from her hands and looking more closely at it. 'Where did you get it?'
'I didn't get it anywhere,' she says. 'I made it.'
'What?' I stare at her. 'You… made this?'
'Yes. During Neighbours. It was awful, actually. Beth found out about Joey and Skye.'
I'm completely gobsmacked. How come Suze suddenly turns out to be so talented?
'So what do you reckon?' she says, taking the frame back and turning it over in her fingers. 'Could I sell these?'
Could she sell these?
'Suze,' I say quite seriously. 'You're going to be a millionaire.'
And we spend the rest of the evening getting very pissed and mapping out Suze's career as an Anita Roddick-style businesswoman. We get quite hysterical trying to decide if she should wear Chanel or Prada when she goes to meet the Queen – and by the time I get into bed, I've forgotten all about Luke Brandon and Bank of Helsinki and the rest of my disastrous day.
But the next morning, it all comes rushing back to me like a horror movie. I wake up feeling pale and shaky, and desperately wishing I could take a sickie. I don't want to go to work. I want to stay at home under the duvet, watching daytime telly and being a millionairess entrepreneur with Suze.
But it's the busiest week of the month, and Philip'll never believe I'm ill.
So, somehow, I haul myself out of bed and into some clothes and onto the tube. At Lucio's I buy myself an extra large cappuccino, and a muffin, and a chocolate brownie. I don't care if I get fat. I just need sugar and caffeine and chocolate, and as much as possible.
Luckily it's so busy, no-one's talking very much, so I don't have to bother telling everyone at the office what I did yesterday on my day off. Clare's tapping away at something and there's a pile of page proofs on my desk, ready for me to check. So after checking my e-mails – none – I scrunch miserably up in my chair, pick up the first one and start to read it.
'Balancing the risks and rewards of stock-market investment can be a dangerous business, especially for the novice investor.'
Oh God this is boring.
'While returns may be high in certain sectors of the market, nothing is ever guaranteed – and for the smalltime investor…'
'Rebecca?' I look up, to see Philip approaching my desk, holding a piece of paper. He doesn't look very happy, and for one terrible moment I think he's spoken to Jill Foxton at William Green, has discovered everything, and is giving me my P45. But as he gets nearer, I see it's only some dull-looking press release.
'I want you to go to this instead of me,' he says. 'It's on Friday. I'd go myself, but I'm going to be tied up here with Marketing.'
'Oh,' I say, without enthusiasm, and take the piece of paper. 'OK. What is it?'
'Personal Finance Fair at Olympia,' he says. 'We always cover it.'
Yawn. Yawn yawn yawn…
'Barclays are giving a champagne lunchtime reception,' he adds.
'Oh right!' I say, with more interest. 'Well, OK. It sounds quite good. What exactly is it…'
I glance down at the paper, and my heart stops as I see the Brandon Communications logo at the top of the page.
'It's basically just a big fair,' says Philip. 'All sectors of personal finance. Talks, stands, events. Just cover whatever sounds interesting. I leave it up to you.'
'OK,' I say after a pause. 'Fine.'
I mean, what do I care if Luke Brandon might be there? I'll just ignore him. I'll show him about as much respect as he showed me. And if he tries to talk to me, I'll just lift my chin firmly in the air, and turn on my heel, and…
'How are the pages going?' says Philip.
