There was dead silence as Carrot turned over another page, and went on: 'It is also my duty to inform you that it is my intention to lay evidence before the Justices with a view to the consideration of charges under the Public Foregatherings (Gambling) Act, 1567, the Licensed Premises (Hygiene) Acts of 1433, 1456, 1463, 1465, er, and 1470 through 1690, and also,' he glanced sideways at the Librarian, who knew trouble when he heard it coming and was hurriedly trying to finish his drink,'the Domestic and Domesticated Animals (Care and Protection) Act, 1673.'
The silence that followed held a rare quality of breathless anticipation as the assembled company waited to see what would happen next.
Charley carefully put down the glass, whose smears had been buffed up to a brilliant shine, and looked down at Nobby.
Nobby was endeavoring to pretend that he was totally alone and had no connection whatsoever with anyone who might be standing next to him and coincidentally wearing an identical uniform.
'What'd he mean, Justices?' he said to Nobby. 'There ain't no Justices.'
Nobby gave a terrified shrug.
'New, is he?' said Charley.
'Make it easy on yourself,' said Carrot.
'This is nothing personal, you understand,' said Charley to Nobby. 'It's just a wossname. Had a wizard in here the other night talking about it. Sort of bendy educational thing, you know?' He appeared to think for a moment. 'Learning curve. That was it. It's a learning curve. Detritus, get your big stony arse over here a moment.'
Generally, about this time in the Mended Drum, someone throws a glass. And, in fact, this now happened.
...
Captain Vimes ran up Short Street — the longest in the city, which shows the famous Morpork subtle sense of humour in a nutshell — with Sergeant Colon stumbling along behind, protesting.
Nobby was outside the Drum, hopping from one foot to another. In times of danger he had a way of propelling himself from place to place without apparently moving through the intervening space which could put any ordinary matter transporter to shame.
' 'E's fighting in there!' he stuttered, grabbing the captain's arm.
'All by himself?' said the captain.
'No, with everyone!' shouted Nobby, hopping from one foot to the other.
'Oh.'
Conscience said: There's three of you. He's wearing the same uniform. He's one of your men. Remember poor old Gaskin.
Another part of his brain, the hated, despicable part which had nevertheless enabled him to survive in the Guards these past ten years, said: It's rude to butt in. We'll wait until he's finished, and then ask him if he wants any assistance. Besides, it isn't Watch policy to interfere in fights. It's a lot simpler to go in afterwards and arrest anyone recumbent.
There was a crash as a nearby window burst outwards and deposited a stunned fighter on the opposite side of the street.
'I think,' said the captain carefully, 'that we'd better take prompt action.'
'That's right,' said Sgt Colon, 'a man could get hurt standing here.'
They sidled cautiously a little way down the street, where the sound of splintering wood and breaking glass wasn't so overpowering, and carefully avoided one another's eyes. There was the occasional scream from within the tavern, and every now and again a mysterious ringing noise, as though someone was hitting a gong with their knee.
They stood in a little pool of embarrassed silence.
'You had your holidays this year, Sergeant?' said Captain Vimes eventually, rocking back and
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